Sarah Remmer Helps Us Revamp Mealtime

Episode 42

Welcome! My guest today is Sarah Remmer, a registered dietitian and pediatric nutrition expert. She blogs at Stork to Fork, sharing ideas, advice, and easy recipes for real parents who want their kids to grow into healthy relationships with food. Let’s jump right into this topic with Sarah!

What you’ll hear in this episode:

  • Sarah is the mother of three young kids, so she knows the struggle!
  • In her client work, Sarah noticed that the common denominator was the way they were
  • Raised in dysfunctional relationships with food.
  • She rebranded and turned her specialty to helping parents raise kids with healthy habits and positive, functional relationships with food for life.
  • Her practice has been thriving, as she is now recognized as a top pediatric nutritionist.
  • Sarah discusses the biggest challenges in feeding kids; if you’re a parent, then you’ve experienced one or more of these!
  • How a recent blog post by Sarah focuses on the “role reversal” that takes place between parents and kids at mealtimes
  • Why kids should NOT stick exclusively with their favorite snacks, like yogurt or bananas
  • Boundaries are important and help create structure.
  • Sarah advises NO short order cooking, NO special meals, and NO snacking after meals.
  • Desserts are tricky!
  • Why you should NOT require “3 more bites of broccoli” before dessert!
  • Why kids are naturally drawn to energy-rich foods like sweets and carbs
  • Eating a wide variety of foods as a toddler will broaden your child’s palate!
  • Ask your child, “How can I make this food yummier for you?”
  • Bad habits CAN be changed!
  • How to involve kids in meals and meal planning
  • Sometimes, kids are truly NOT hungry!
  • Sarah explains your “long-term feeding lens” vs. the short term.
  • What does “joyful courage” mean to you? “Having the courage to start fresh. Forgive yourself for unhealthy habits. Be kind and end mealtime power struggles.

Connect with Sarah:

www.sarahremmer.com
Facebook
Twitter

Follow Sarah on the Yummy Mummy Club site! 

The Super Healthy Kids Blog

Feeding Kids: How Parents and Kids Often Have Their Roles Mixed Up (and how to fix it) 

Community is everything!

Join our community Facebook groups:

Takeaways from the show

We are here for you

Join the email list

Join our email list! Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! Joyful Courage is the adolescent brand here at Sproutable. We bring support and community to parents of tweens and teens. Not a parent of a teen or tween? No worries, click on the button to sign up to the email list specifically cultivated for you: Preschool, school-aged, nannies, and teachers. We are here for everyone who loves and cares for children.

I'm in!

Classes & coaching

I know that you love listening every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in your parenting journey. Casey O'Roarty, the Joyful Courage podcast host, offers classes and private coaching. See our current offerings.

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Joy, joyful, courage, parenting podcast episode 42

Hey everybody. I'm so glad that you've made your way back to the podcast, and I'm really excited about today's guest. I have Sarah remmer on her website, is stork to fork, and she's going to talk with us about nutrition and kids. And you know, sometimes those two things are really tough to come into alignment with, right? So Sarah is awesome, and from her blog, she shares ideas, advice and easy recipes. Yay, with parents who, like her, are navigating the fun and challenging world of feeding kids. You'll find that her blog posts cover a wide range of topics, from nutrition for a healthy pregnancy to feeding a picky eater and beyond. She wants parents to feel at home, and she knows firsthand what it's like to be in the trenches. So this is a judgment free, imperfect and fun blog for real parents who are seeking practical tips and resources on how to feed their kids and help them grow a healthy relationship with food. And you know, as the mother of a 13 year old, I definitely 13 year old daughter, I definitely am interested in being in conversation around healthy relationships with food, right. There are lots and lots of messages being thrown at our kids around body and body images, not to mention the advertising. And they really gross things like really gross products that are being marketed to kids. And then it's not even food, like when you break down the ingredients, it's just gross. Anyway, Sarah and I are going to talk about the food drama in the parent child relationship. We're going to talk about creating a good foundation for the early years, and then also how to rein it in if you have older kids and are finding that their willingness to eat the food that you prepare is not great, or just, you know, baby steps towards creating a healthier food environment in your home. I'm so excited to talk to Sarah and and have you listen in on our candid conversation. So enjoy. And when it's all over, feel free to reach out with feedback around what you thought of the podcast, because I'm in it for you people. I'm doing this for you so positive, negative, curiosities, whatever is going on for you while you're listening to this podcast. Please, please, please share it with me and let me know what you think. And now let's meet Sarah. You

Hey there, Sarah, welcome to the podcast. Hello.

Sarah Remmer 3:09
Thanks for having me.

Casey O'Roarty 3:11
Please tell my listeners about you and your family and what you do in the world.

Sarah Remmer 3:16
All right, so I am a registered dietitian with a special focus in infant and kids nutrition, and I'm also a mom. I have three kids. My son is five, and my daughter is two, and I have a little baby who is five months, and his name is James, and so I'm right in the trenches there, along with my clients, I understand all the struggles that come with feeding kids. So my sort of a little bit of my background is when I became a registered dietitian over 10 years ago, and when I first became a mom five years ago, I decided to niche my then very general nutrition counseling practice. I've always been in private practice, and I decided when I became a mom, to become more niched and to be more focused on nutrition for pregnancy and pediatric nutrition. So the reason that I decided to do this is not only because I had become a parent myself, but also because I was frustrated with where I was at the time in my career and in my private practice. So I spent many years seeing clients in the areas of weight loss and chronic disease management and disordered eating and even food addictions and eating disorders. And I was finding that although I was enjoying my job, there was always a common denominator to all of my clients eating issues, and that was the way that they were raised to think about food and the way that they were fed. As kids, their very well meaning parents fed them in a way that nurtured unhealthy eating habits and dysfunctional relation, and, you know, grew a dysfunctional relationship with food from there. So what I really wanted to do is prevent these, these issues from happening, and I wanted to teach parents how to raise happy, healthy eaters with functional and positive relationships with food for life. So that's when I decided to rebrand my business, and I devoted my counseling hours as well as my blogging and writing and consulting hours to exclusively to parents and kids and child centered organizations and businesses. And from there, my business has blown up in a good way. I became much more passionate about what I was doing, and my practice has started to really thrive and has become much busier. And since then, I've become known as one of the top Canadian pediatric nutrition experts, which is really cool. And I'm asked to be a guest blogger, and I'm asked to be spokes of spokesperson for certain organizations, and I've been the the nutrition expert for Erica, mziumi, mummy club for the past five years, and have had lots of really exciting opportunities come my way, and I'm really thankful. So it's nice to be really passionate about what you do, and I'm fortunate to be one of those people. So yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 6:36
well, I can totally relate to that passion piece too, because I love what I do, and I am so excited because I have been wanting to get you on the show for months, and mostly because, well, I love what you put out in the world. I love that your tagline is stork to fork. But also, I mean I have no I do not teach parenting workshops that don't have the power struggle of mealtime show up in conversation, like every single time I meet with groups of parents. You know, somebody will bring up mealtime battles, or my kids won't eat, or they won't eat what I cook. And you can see all the heads begin to nod across the room. Yeah, yeah. So when you start working with parents, what do you think? What would you say are some of the biggest challenges that you're that they're coming to you with,

Sarah Remmer 7:34
honestly, right? It is one of the biggest challenges for parents, and especially first time parents. I feel like, you know, if you've had a second, third, fourth baby, you kind of get the hang of it and learn from learn from those first challenges. But it can be really tough. I mean, kids, especially toddlers, as you know, want to exert some sort of control over their lives, and parents are worried about, you know, their kids health and nutrition. And so power struggles ensue from there. And so what I see when it comes to toddlers and kids in my practice is power struggles at the table, for sure, picky eating issues, kids wanting to snack all day versus eat while at meals? Parents not knowing how to deal with desserts and treat foods. Kids refusing to eat vegetables, which I know you had mentioned, is an issue with your family too. Texture issues with things like meat and poultry and fish, and even some kids that are failing to thrive and have growth issues because of their picky eating challenges. And there, you know, there's some kids that are dealing with anxiety around food and more extreme forms of picky eating that involves sensory processing issues and things like that. So there's a whole wide range of things, but typically what I see is what you had mentioned, those power struggles at the table and, you know, frustrating meals where parents are trying to control things that they probably shouldn't, and kids are trying to do the same, right?

Casey O'Roarty 9:16
Yeah, yeah, when I think about, you know, it's, it's so interesting. And I'm sure that you see this with parents, there's this kind of two different ends of the spectrum that we look at, which is either I am in control or they are in control, versus that whole huge space that lives between those two ends of the continuum, right? And so I always try to encourage parents to remember that there is various degrees of shared control that are always available and that are so much more forwarding than that. You know, Iron Fist around what the other person will be doing, yeah. And what about. So, I mean, I feel like, because we as the parents are in the process of preparation, we're preparing the food we are, you know, with various degrees of thoughtfulness, you know, and then we, you know, put it out there, and perhaps it's displayed really nice. And I think there's something at an emotional level that happens when that puckered up face of ew or the smallest comment can just send us through the roof. So where, how do you work with parents around that piece, that emotional piece, it's

Sarah Remmer 10:38
hard. I mean, even as a nutrition expert and picky eating expert, I still take it personally with my kid. I'm

Casey O'Roarty 10:47
glad to hear that.

Sarah Remmer 10:48
Oh yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's nothing worse than preparing healthy, delicious, healing, delicious meal and serving it up and then having your child refuse to eat it. I mean, there's really nothing worse, and I think that even though I may, you know, I do take it personally, and it is really frustrating, I'm able to kind of take a step back and realize that it's not about me and that it's normal. I think that that's one thing that I want to stress is that these typical picky eating behaviors that I'm going to talk about today are very normal. And, you know, just like our kids learn how to tie their shoe or ride their bike or, you know, whatever else they're learning they're they're also learning how to eat, and it takes a long time, and it can be more struggle, you know, it can be more challenging for some kids and really easy for other kids. And there's no sort of, there's no one way that it's done. And I think as parents, we just need to be patient and understand that it's normal and that it's not about us, and try not to take it personally. It's, it's, it has nothing to do with us. So, yeah, I mean, it's hard, and I don't think I'll ever stop taking it personally, but I think if you can remember that, that it's normal, it's not about you, then it helps well.

Casey O'Roarty 12:13
And I think that that's great advice for a variety of parenting challenges, right? Yeah, not about us. Don't take it personally well, and you wrote a blog post around role reversal, and I would love for you to speak into that, and I will link it in the show notes so that the listeners can read it as well. But I this was really first of all, the title of the blog post was really catchy and and it's really helpful, important information that I don't think we can read enough or remember enough times.

Sarah Remmer 12:55
Yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 12:55
will you talk about? Do you know which one I'm talking about?

Sarah Remmer 12:58
I think so, when the feeding rules are mixed up, yes, yeah. So we're not given, you know, a book on how to feed our kids when we deliver our babies. It's not something that that we learn. We, you know, I, I am fortunate enough to have that extra knowledge as a registered dietician, but certainly it's not common knowledge how to feed our kids and what role you should take as a parent and what role you should let your children have. And we, you know, most of us grew up with parents who are telling us to clean our plates and to finish all of our vegetables and you can't have dessert until you eat this or that. And so we're sort of programmed to feed our kids a certain way, and what we know now is that that way that we were raised with is actually quite dysfunctional and can grow unhealthy eating habits long term. So what I talk about, what I talked about in that one blog post, and what I talk about a lot in my writing, is the feeding rules. And what I mean by that is that parents are in charge of the what, when's and where's of feeding, and kids are in charge of if and whether they sorry, if they eat, and how much they eat.

So if you've ever heard of Ellen Satter, who is sort of the childhood nutrition feeding guru. She

has written many books and has this philosophy called the division of responsibility of feeding. And that's sort of the cornerstone of what I'm talking about, the feeding role. So it's the parent's responsibility to decide what is going to be served and when it is going to be served. So they're in charge of setting the schedule for meals and snacks and then where it is served. So ideally, in a distraction free environment, being most often the family table. Now kids. Kids are really 100% supposed to be in charge of whether they eat the food that's served and how much they eat at the meal. And what I see in my practice a lot is these rules completely reversed. So parents are coming to me really frustrated their their child is picky and they don't want to, you know, eat the healthy foods that are served, and there are huge power struggles at meal times. And what's happening is that parents are trying to control if their child eats, and how much their child eats, and what they're eating out of what's served. And kids are trying to control what is served in the first place, when it is served, and where it is served. So I'm sure that the listeners can kind of relate to this.

Casey O'Roarty 15:49
Oh yeah. I'm sure they're all nodding their heads right now,

Sarah Remmer 15:52
exactly. So it's kids saying, Mom, I want a snack. And mom, you know, well meaning mom, saying, Sure, let's give you a snack, so that you'll at least eat something healthy today, right? And then, you know, maybe the parents saying, but what would you like? And giving open ended options to the child, and then the child taking over and saying, I want yogurt and a banana, which is, you know, the typical go to safe food. So what that does is it doesn't give kids the opportunity to try new foods, because they're always given that option of going back to their favorite foods. And it also can become a food free for all, if kids are asking for snacks all the time, and parents are giving in and giving snacks all the time. And so there's, there's lots of issues that can come from that as well. You know, the all day snack fest,

Casey O'Roarty 16:46
yeah, I do know that. Yeah, yeah. I

Sarah Remmer 16:48
mean, kids aren't able to build up that appetite for meals, and so at meal times, they're full and not open to trying new foods. And then, of course, parents are, you know, trying to pressure their kids to eat, and so it's sort of a vicious cycle. So really, what's important, and what the main message of that blog post was, is that you need to distinguish between the roles parents. You know the difference between parents role and the child's role, and that is really the key to happier mealtimes. Yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 17:21
and you talk about all sorts of different boundaries in this blog post and expectations, and it just reminds me of, you know, I in positive discipline. There's a there's the Zero to Three book, and then there's the preschool book, and there's chapters in both of those books that say pottying, eating, sleeping, you can't make them do it, right? Because those three life experiences, yeah, you know, those are, those are places ripe, fertile ground for power struggles, right? But, you know, and what I talk about, too with parents that I work with is, you know, creating a structure, and when you have the structure in place, and for me, as I look at this blog post and listen to you speak, it's about boundaries and expectations. That's the structure. And then within the structure there's all sorts of flow and freedom, yeah, which, you know, like you said, whether or not they eat is their choice, but coming to the table is an expectation because it's mealtime Absolutely

Sarah Remmer 18:29
yeah, I do talk about mealtime boundaries a lot, because they are absolutely essential to happier mealtimes and healthier kids, to be honest like you, in order to to end the power struggles that parents so often experience when feeding, there needs to be those boundaries in place. And like you said, you know it happens throughout the trajectory of parenting, I think there needs to be healthy boundaries. But when it comes to feeding, some of the boundaries that I set with my family and I encourage my clients to are things like like you had mentioned, you must come to the table when a meal is served. However, it's your choice as to whether you eat it or not. So you know, nine times out of 10 when my son comes to the table, even if he said I'm not hungry, I say, you know, you need to come to the table. It's family time. So I take the pressure off of eating and say, this is the time that we bond as a family. So even if you're not eating, come to the table and talk. And nine times at a time he eats, right? So it's like taking that pressure off. Whenever kids feel pressure to do something, especially when it comes to food, they're going to back right off. And so if you can set those boundaries, but then take the pressure off of the food, and take the focus off of the food, you'll be amazed at what. Happens. Some of the other boundaries that I set myself is when at meal time, there's no short order cooking. So, you know, if I serve one meal and one meal only, and I serve lots of variety within that meal, and lot, you know, I usually try to include a food that everyone likes, so that there's at least one food that you know, my kids can eat, but there's no special meals that are made, and that's that's an important one, because I know a lot of parents who will say, Well, what would you like instead? And then, of course, it doesn't give kids the opportunity to explore new foods. And then the kitchen is closed after a meal or snack time. So there's no, you know, I often hear kids asking for a snack like 10 minutes after a meal time. And of course, you know that child has, you know, they've been holding out for the snack that they're gonna ask for. And so of course, they're not gonna eat what's what's given at the meal, when they know that they can get their favorite snack at the end. So I always say the kitchen is closed afterwards, and then it won't reopen until you know, two or three hours after that, when there's a snack or another meal.

Casey O'Roarty 21:12
And what about dessert? Because you had mentioned dessert a few minutes ago, and I there was a book that I read. It might have been feeding the whole family. I can't remember the name of it, but she talks about how dessert can if there's going to be a treat that it gets put on the table with dinner.

Sarah Remmer 21:31
I love this. I love that idea, and I've written about it before, too. Oh, good. So desserts are tricky. I mean, they are, yeah, they're so

Casey O'Roarty 21:41
easy to be like, No dessert for you if you don't eat, right? Or, yeah, you know, I grew up in a family where dessert was a given every night, and we don't, we don't do that at our house. It's, you know, it's kind of random and but it's not, definitely not every night, no.

Sarah Remmer 21:58
And I think that's good. I think it's really good to offer desserts randomly and so that your kids don't expect that there's going to be dessert every night, because it can be used for bribes, which isn't good. So let's say you know it you won't be able to have dessert if you don't eat your broccoli, or you need to have three more bites of your meal before you get dessert. So really, what that's doing, and translating in the child's mind, is, you know, that dessert has now been put on a higher pedestal. It's even yummier than it was before, and this broccoli is even yuckier than it was, right there. Yeah. So it kind of translates into, you know, like the green vegetable becoming less appealing, and the treat food becoming this prize at the end of the meal, which we don't want to do, because then we're just increasing, you know, the likelihood of overeating on treats later. So I think the premise behind the idea of serving dessert with a meal is you're putting everything on a level playing field. There's no, you know, food that you have to eat first in order to get the treat. It's kind of you eat both at the same time. And it's amazing. Like some kids, when you first start doing this, they will gobble up that dessert as fast as they possibly can, and that's usually when the food has been forbidden in the past, so, or it's been this, like prize at the end of a meal. So if it does take some time to kind of demystify that tree food, I guess. So, you know, some kids will eat it, gobble it up, and then won't eat any of their meals. Some kids will just kind of pick at the like my son, who's five, when I do this, he just kind of takes a bite of the dessert and then takes a bite of his meal and takes a bite of the dessert. So it works really, really well for him. I think with my daughter, it would work a little bit different. I think she'd probably eat her treat and then leave most of her dinner. So it is sort of case by case, and it works really well for some kids, not so well with the other kids. But I think it's a good it's it's good to do it every once in a while, because it does send that message of, you know, these foods are allowed and it's okay to have treats sometimes, and they're not forbidden, which is what we want our kids to know. So I'm

Casey O'Roarty 24:18
guessing that you probably work with parents who have kids older than toddlers, and well, where should we go? Should we go to the foundation? Like, how do we start at a young age? I really want to talk about the parents who are probably like, Oh, great. I've totally screwed up my kids, you know, and how we where are the entry points there with older kids? Let's start with foundation. So foundationally, I'm hearing like setting the boundaries, setting the expectations, just stepping out of the power struggle and, you know, and I remember reading too, that kids will will naturally seek out the nutritions that they the nutrition that they need. Is that true? Yeah. Yeah,

Sarah Remmer 25:00
um, you know, I don't know, and I don't know if there's actually any science to back that up, but

Casey O'Roarty 25:06
I could have just made it up. Well, you

Sarah Remmer 25:09
know what? Perhaps, perhaps there is some truth to that. I'm not sure, but what I do know is that kids are naturally drawn to energy rich foods. So things like sweet foods and starchy carbohydrates, and that's sort of in our DNA. So in hunter gatherer times, foods that were sweet signaled energy rich and foods that were bitter. So think green vegetables, like plants that were bitter signaled toxic and poisonous. So it makes sense that kids are naturally turned off when they see a green vegetable or when they taste a green vegetable, because it's bitter. And those bitter compounds are kids have more taste buds than we do as well. So there they taste foods more intensely so when they taste a bitter vegetable, they taste them even more intensely than we would as adults. So it makes sense that kids, generally speaking, don't like vegetables as much as we do as adults. And it also makes sense that treats and desserts are so wonderful in their eyes, because they taste so good. And again, there's that perhaps evolutionary factor that it signals energy rich and survival. So that kind of gives a little bit of background as to why kids eat the way they do, and maybe takes the pressure off a little bit, and, you know, allows parents to know that it's not their fault, right? It's just their kid. It's it's pretty much every child. I think that what's really important in the early years and when you're setting the foundation is, you know, things that I've suggested already. So setting healthy meal time boundaries, making sure that you do not pressure your child to eat certain foods. Instead just serve a variety of foods. Model healthy eating yourself. So make sure that you're eating with your kids as much as possible, and you're showing them that you're eating a variety of foods that will go such a long way, because what you do as a parent is normal to your child, right? That that your child thinks that what you do is normal. So if you just simply model healthy eating, that will seem normal to them

Casey O'Roarty 27:31
until they become teenagers, and then teenagers

Sarah Remmer 27:35
and they have a mind of their dog, right? But yeah, I think, you know, the more variety that you can introduce in the early years, the better, and the more likely your child will grow to have a wide palate. Yeah. So right from, you know, six months of age when you start solids, you want to introduce a whole bunch of different flavors and textures and foods. And, you know, family meals are really important, yeah, yeah. So those are some of the foundational things, I think, to different ways that you can because I know, you know, we talked about toddlers and how they like to exert their control wherever they can, especially when it comes to feeding and toileting and sleeping. A few ways to sort of entice healthier eating with your toddlers and young kids is by asking them, how can I make this food yummier for you? So what you're doing there is, you're you know, you've offered a healthy food. They've refused to eat it, but then you're handing over some of the control to them and saying, How can we make this food yummier for you? And you can give some ideas, like, Would you like a dip with it? Or would you like me to cut it a certain way? Or do you want me to move this food away from this food? Or, you know, do you need ketchup with that or something? You know, it really doesn't matter. It's just, let's like for my son, with his oatmeal, I sprinkle red confetti, which are Craisins on top, and that makes it way yummier for him, and it increases the chances that he's going to eat it. So just something really simple like that can change the game for kids and also give them a little bit of control well.

Casey O'Roarty 29:12
And I think that's probably helpful too for the older kids,

Sarah Remmer 29:16
absolutely yes, yes, for sure. And so yeah, getting into the older kids, I think that, first of all, parents should know that they have not ruined their kids and that they're doing the best that they can. We're all doing the best we can, and really try not to beat yourself up about you know, maybe some not so great habits that have been developed over the years with feeding, you can change habits in you know, when your child when your child becomes older, it may take a little bit more time. It may be a little bit trickier. You might have to be more patient. But what you could do is explain to your child that, you know, as a family, we've developed. Developed some not so awesome habits when it comes to eating. And so we need, you know, everyone's going to be involved in changing those habits. And we're going to change them, you know, one by one. And so some ideas that I have for school age kids is involving them more in, you know, grocery shopping and prepping and cooking and serving meals. So getting them to have a hand in making the foods that they're going to eat that will increase the chances that they're going to eat more

involving them in meal planning. So sitting down with them and saying, What do you want to eat? You know, we're planning out the week. I want you to be able to have a say in what we're going to eat this week. And and if you'd like to help, I want you to help. So getting them involved.

Casey O'Roarty 30:53
I love I'm just going to jump in. I love that. And listeners, you've heard me talk about family meetings, weekly family meetings. Family meetings are a great time to be having conversations about meal planning, and as the primary meal preparer in my family, oh, man, it is so nice the weeks that I get some input and kind of have a plan. Yeah, we're eating a lot better when that's the case and and a few weeks ago, I had a woman on Amy knobbler came on and talked about bringing kids into the kitchen and how it's life skill development and relationship building. So I'm glad that you mentioned that too.

Sarah Remmer 31:37
Yeah, yeah. I think that with older kids, that is the key to getting them to accept more foods and to also, as you said, Build life skills when it comes to cooking and preparing foods, and, you know, packing their lunch and and everything. And it is nice bonding time for parents and kids too. I love when my five year old comes and helps me bake. It's kind of our time to bond, and he loves doing it, and he obviously loves eating the result at the end. But it's it's fun, and it does add a little bit of fun for kids when they're involved. And

Casey O'Roarty 32:20
I think it's important, too to say that just because, you know, perhaps we've made a meal with a lot of variety, even perhaps a couple of the kids favorite things, and it's time to sit down and, you know, they might not want to come, and we can remind them, well, it's dinner, you know, it's family time. Come spend time with the family, and that doesn't necessarily mean that they skip on over with a great big smile and say, Oh, thanks for reminding me. And this is amazing, right? I mean remembering too, that part of parenting is being able to stay calm and connected even when our kids are not their best self and their whatever the emotion is, whether it's having to put down a screen or a book or move from one thing to another, and they don't show up well. I mean, you know, all we can do is increase the likelihood for cooperation, right? Exactly,

Sarah Remmer 33:13
exactly. And, yeah, I think that we need also to be patient and know that sometimes our kids are going to come to the table not hungry, and as parents, we need to accept I'm not hungry as an answer sometimes, and that can be really hard, because we want, you know, we want that control. We want to make sure that our kids are eating well at mealtime, because we're worried that they're not going to get the nutrients that they need over the period of a week, but you know, we sometimes aren't hungry, and the same happens for our kids. And so we want to encourage intuitive eating and mindful eating. And so when our kids say that they're not hungry, we need to trust that they're actually not hungry and just leave it at that. And but at the same time, you know, there's that boundary of, well, the kitchen is closed after this meal, so which

Casey O'Roarty 34:03
again, which might not be greeted with, oh, okay, yeah, exactly, but you'll get through it, parents, yes, you'll just stay connected and stay calm. That's right, right? And my husband tells me about his youngest sister. Shout out to my sister in law, Edie, who lives in New York City and has traveled all to all sorts of exotic places in the world. But when she was young, the only food she was would eat was white food. So white bread, white noodles, white rice. And now she's like going to Africa, going to the Caribbean, going to all these different places and exploring all different kinds of foods and textures. And when I start to get all bunched up around, like, oh my gosh, my kids are not adventurous with eating, I remember, yeah, but they've got a long life to live exactly,

Sarah Remmer 34:54
exactly, and I often talk about in my. Fighting feeding with your short term feeding lens versus your long term feeding lens. And this is really important, because most parents who struggle with feeding are feeding with their short term feeding lens. So in other words, they're using Quick Fix solutions to get their kids to eat healthy right now. So it could be bribing them with something, or it could be even shaming them. So saying something like, well, your brother's eating this. Why aren't you eating it? It could be, you know, rewarding them with something at the end of the meal. So those are all really quick fix solutions that usually work short term, but could actually create more issues long term. But the, you know, feeding with your long term feeding lens, which I encourage parents to do more, is taking the pressure off, but serving that variety of healthy foods every single day and trusting that your child will eventually accept it in his own time, so most kids will get the nutrition that they need by the end of The week, even though it seems like they're not eating hardly anything in one day, they will if you were to do a food diary, most of the time, kids are getting what they need. So it's, you know, it's hard for parents to do this, but it's really important to just trust that with consistency and with, you know, continual introduction of those foods over and over and over again in different ways, your child will accept it in his own time, and perhaps that is into adulthood. Who knows? It really depends on the person. But yeah, every child is different. And you know, most picky eaters grow to be very good eaters with a wide palette later,

Casey O'Roarty 36:43
there you go. Parents. See, relax. It's gonna be okay. Think of anti Edie and know that at least your kid isn't just eating white food. So my last question, Sarah, that I've been ending with all of my interview podcast people, is, what does a joyful courage mean to you when you hear that term,

Sarah Remmer 37:04
I think, for when it comes to feeding kids, joyful courage means having the courage to start fresh and forgive yourself for habits that may have not been the healthiest that have been developed and creating healthier and happier feeding habits and finally, ending mealtime power struggles. So growing Have you know healthy, happy eaters takes time and a lot of patience, so just be kind to yourself and trust that your kids will, like I said, accept foods in their own time.

Casey O'Roarty 37:40
Love that. Thank you. So listeners, you can find [email protected] there's going to be a link in the website, I mean, in the show notes, sorry. And when you're on there, you're going to see that she has tons of great stuff. She's got all of her blog posts and articles and a whole link that is all about different yummy recipes. Sarah, where else can people follow you in your work?

Sarah Remmer 38:09
They can follow me on the non diet dietitian.com. So that's my yummy mummy club blog. Okay, the non diet dietitian, and dietitian has a teen Odyssey.

Casey O'Roarty 38:23
Thank you. I'll put a link in the show notes. Yeah.com,

Sarah Remmer 38:26
and I'm also the baby nutrition expert over at super healthy kids, which is a really popular blog, American blog for for kids nutrition. So, yeah, what

Casey O'Roarty 38:40
about social media?

Sarah Remmer 38:41
Where are you on social media? So I'm, mostly you can find me on Facebook. I'm I'm there every single day. And so my Facebook fan page is Sarah. So it's facebook.com, forward slash, Sarah remmer, nutrition consulting. Okay? And then my Twitter handle is just at Sarah remmer, great. So those are the two places that I'm I hang out most of the time. Great. Well,

Casey O'Roarty 39:09
thank you so much for being on the show. I'm so grateful for all your wisdom. Oh, thank

Sarah Remmer 39:14
you so much for having me.

Casey O'Roarty 39:15
I appreciate it. All right. Have a great day, Sarah. Thanks. You, too. You

I am so grateful for the guests that say yes to coming on this podcast and have conversations with me. I'm so I feel so honored every time someone says, Well, sure, when I ask them if they want to be on the podcast. And you know, I am also feeling so blessed around the growing community of joyful courage tribe. And just want you all to know, every single one of you that are listening right this minute, that you are so valued and you're so appreciated, and it would be great if you're finding value. You and have your own appreciation for the podcast to head on over to iTunes. Head on over to iTunes and leave me a review and five stars, please, and be really explicit about why you tune in. Why do you listen to this podcast? Why do you love it? Why are you an avid podcast listener? Also, please, please, please, know that there was great conversation happening on the live and love with joyful courage facebook group page. So feel free to come on over there and join if you're not already receiving my newsletters, they go out every two or three weeks, and you know they're full of story and tips and anything that you may have missed, podcast episodes, blog posts that you may have missed. There's links in the newsletters for that, and you can sign up for the newsletter on the joyful courage website, www dot joyful courage.com I'm also on Instagram, at joyful courage. I'm on Twitter at joyful courage, and you can also find me on Snapchat, which, by the way, I'm gonna be writing a blog post about Snapchat, because I recently busted my teen daughter. Think she's in the other room, she can hear me. I busted her on Snapchat. Come over here. Rowan,

Sarah Remmer 41:25
come over here.

Casey O'Roarty 41:27
Let's see. She's gonna come talk about it. So I'm gonna be writing a blog post about Snapchat. So let me, let's tell the listeners really quick. Rowan, how did you feel when I was like, Hey, I just tried to friend you on Snapchat. Shocked? Why were you shocked? Because

Sarah Remmer 41:44
I thought I could get away with it for longer than I did. Oh

Casey O'Roarty 41:47
yeah, so I've got some juicy stuff for the blog post. Thank you, Rowan. I'll be interviewing more. I'll be interviewing you some more about that as well. So anyway, you can find me on all about social media and sharing my story, support, love for all of you and all those places Be in touch, and I'll see you next time you

See more