Eps 77: Carrie Anne Killeen talks about parenting for our soul

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Joyful to me is about being present in the moment, choosing to look on the positive side of it. To that actually takes courage. We have a lot of stuff that we have to overcome to be joyful, more joyful. Courage is such an amazing word. I think people have a lot of courage but I don’t think people really know how much courage they can have. To harmonize both of them, and what I feel in your community, is that you can have both of them and be in balance and that’s a beautiful recipe for having a successful and happy life which I feel is available for everybody.

Where to find Carrie Ann: Facebook l Website

3 part webinar series on emotional triggers

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Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:01
Joyful courage parenting podcast episode 77

Hey everybody. Welcome back to the joyful courage parenting podcast. I am your host, Casey overardi, and I realize that I don't really tell you who I am. Typically, I know most of you know who I am, but for new listeners, I am the owner of joyful courage. I am a positive discipline trainer. I am a life coach, and I walk the path of doing the best I can with the skills I have with two children, I have a 14 year old daughter and an 11 year old son, who I talk about a lot on the show. So yeah, that's who I am, and I am honored to get to be the host of this podcast. This is my favorite offer that I that I put together each week for parents, and it's it's a blessing. So thank you to everybody who listens. Thank you for your feedback. Thank you for letting me know that what I create here on the podcast with my guests is helpful and forwarding to you. Thank you. Today on the podcast, we have Carrie Anne Killeen. She is a conscious parent coach who specializes in assisting parents in increasing peace, love, joy, grace and ease in the home. Yay, right. Thank goodness. There's people in the world whose mission is that after she lived for 20 years with a very critical view of herself and those around her, she realized how much love had been missing from her own childhood. So using her own children as her biggest teachers, she learned how to heal her own childhood wounds with love, compassion, forgiveness and inner truth. She is deeply dedicated to creating a more peaceful world for children and parents. Carrie Ann inspires parents to see beyond their children's behavior and to the hidden truth and wisdom that lies inside their heart and soul. Carrie Ann is a peaceful single mom of three amazing and highly soulful daughters. She's currently living her heart's dream in Massachusetts. I got to know Carrie Anne when I was invited to be on her nourished mama tele summit last fall. And I just really appreciate the work that she puts out in the world. I really appreciate how committed she is to speaking about her own journey and for being in the mindset of anything is possible. So when I asked her to come on the show, I was super excited when she said yes, and I can't wait to share the show with all of you. At the end, stick around. I have a really exciting new offer for parents around family meetings, and I'm going to be telling you a little bit more about it after the show. Okay, so in an effort to make the beginning monolog a little bit shorter, I'm going to save some goodness for the end. All right, so sit back and enjoy my friend. Carrie Anne,

hi there. Carrie Anne, welcome to the joyful courage podcast.

Carrie Anne Killeen 3:35
Thank you so much. Casey, it's so good to be here.

Casey O'Roarty 3:39
I am so glad that you're here, please share with the listeners about your journey of doing what you do.

Carrie Anne Killeen 3:44
Well, I am a mom. I'm a single mom of three, and I realized about three years ago how hard my life was and how everything seemed like it was a super struggle. And so with some with some intent and some education, I learned to I learned how to pull myself out of a pretty big ditch, and I actually learned how to to move from surviving as a mom to thriving in a super peaceful, flowy, graceful existence with my children and and nothing has changed my life. And in fact, life is going even faster for me, but I've seemed to have mastered the science of or the art of flow and peace. And so as a parent coach, that's what I I teach my clients to be able to do. Can you

Casey O'Roarty 4:41
talk a little bit about that process of mastery? The

Carrie Anne Killeen 4:47
process of mastery is full of is full of walking through doorways that actually feel pretty uncomfortable. And we just spoke about, you know, working with a. Tent, and really, I am super aware of where my shortcomings are, and it's it's a daily thing to just be in the present moment and to to push myself past emotional barriers that would have stopped me otherwise, would have, like, tripped me up and would have triggered my emotions to go backwards rather than forward. Oh, I

Casey O'Roarty 5:27
love that. Yeah. So

Carrie Anne Killeen 5:29
I'm a very forward, moving, like, progressive person, and it wasn't always that way. Casey, like, I was super stuck, really, really emotionally triggered by a lot of people around me, and I just realized it wasn't serving anybody any good. And so I made it kind of a personal mission to just be devoted to self self love and self help. Just really, you know, it made it my pathway, yeah, oh, go ahead. Well, I just when

Casey O'Roarty 6:02
you said self help, I crack up at all of, like, the kind of flip remarks around, like, oh geez, I roll self help, but oh my god. Like, I don't understand why everybody isn't super jazzed about self help. Why would you want to help yourself? Like, it's awesome.

Carrie Anne Killeen 6:18
Casey, let me tell you when, when we spoke for the first time, and I I'm like, That's how I felt. I was like, everybody needs to know about this. Like, it's all within your power. It really is. And people started to look at me, they're like, Yeah, whatever. But here's what's happening right now, is like people are actually really hungry for this stuff, and I think a lot of it is we have to teach ourselves to be resilient. Because let me tell you, things don't stop coming at you, and you probably know that they don't stop coming. But how you deal with the adversities, the stressors, you know, the my divorce, things like that, like it doesn't stop, but it doesn't have to impact you or absolutely sidelined you, right?

Casey O'Roarty 7:04
Yeah. And I think, like, even right now it's crazy. There's like, a crazy example of lack of skills around emotional triggers on the national stage. But we're not going to go there. We're not going to go yes, yes, yes, yes. So you work with. So what you're talking about is your work with parents around clearing emotional blocks that keep them from being the parent they want to be. And I love what you said, that it's a daily practice of being in the present moment. I say that a lot as well. So talk a little bit like, let's kind of tease out emotional blocks. What do you mean by emotional blocks.

Carrie Anne Killeen 7:40
Okay, so if you if we'll pretend like if I was a parent and you were my child, for instance, we share an energetic connection that's super strong. It's like a legacy. It goes back, you know, to our ancestors, and we actually hold on to patterns, behavior patterns, thought patterns and reactive patterns that cause us to to be, to continue to stay in what is called the triggered state for some some things. So if you were having, say, a meltdown and and you triggered something in me that was, you know, an emotional pain or a blockage, then we would both kind of be in chaos together. And it happens. It happens a lot with parents and children.

Casey O'Roarty 8:26
Everybody knows your head, everybody who's listening, everybody,

Carrie Anne Killeen 8:29
yes, we have that. We have that child, like I have three, and each one of them triggers a different part of me. Okay, but what happens is, is when you actually go in and you feel that emotion all the way through to the end, and you've given a name, and you actually realize what it is, what it's doing to what I consider to be your inner child. I'm a student of Dr Shefali. She talks about conscious parenting and and so loving that inner child and forgiving and being compassionate to and just really developing a soft, gentle space around that emotional trigger over and over and over again, so that it becomes something that is consistent, and then it goes away. It actually goes away. And so what I teach my parents to do is take that emotional trigger and work through it with with forgiveness, because it always goes back to something that happened to us in the past, right? It always brings up an emotion that's raw. We either scream or we get angry, and it's unpleasant, unpleasant, but we often shut it down and we stuff it back in. But what I'm saying is, and it's kind of messy, right? Is we just totally messy

Casey O'Roarty 9:51
experience.

Carrie Anne Killeen 9:52
We have to experience that emotion like I can just feel that you get it like you have to experience that emotion all the way through. And when you experience. Experience that emotion all the way through. The amazing thing is, you you also allow your children to experience their emotions all the way through, and that's healing, okay? And what a lot of parents do Casey, is they give up. Yeah, they totally. They try it, and they'll be like, This is awesome, great. We're gonna get rid of this. Is like, but you know what it it sometimes, in my case, if people were to walk into my home, they'd be like, What is going on here? I'd be like, we're feeling our emotions all the way through. And once, the thing is, is, once they're felt all the way through, they're done. And this is what's amazing about children, is they're done, but when a parent experience their emotion all the way through. We're like, No, that's wrong. Like, you can't be feeling that way.

Casey O'Roarty 10:46
And so loving

Carrie Anne Killeen 10:49
yourself and really being gentle with yourself, because we are our own worst critics, and we hold ourselves to such a high standard. And this is like, this goes on to how we feel about others in society. Totally think that that is all shifting Casey, because look what's happened this week.

Casey O'Roarty 11:08
Yeah, I know listeners. We're recording on january 25 so, yeah.

Carrie Anne Killeen 11:14
Okay, yeah. So I got this amazing feeling in my body. It's like women are it? We are those compassionate warriors, yeah, who are going to who are going to get it? I mean, like, and look at in the compassionate male and so parenting, for me, is it because there's no bigger teacher than our children to show us exactly where we need to grow. Totally

Casey O'Roarty 11:45
true that because

Carrie Anne Killeen 11:46
right, because they are on the leading edge of they're just getting things super fast. And I know like you have teenagers, I have a nine year old, a six year old and a two year old, and what has changed in in our relationship is that we just, we are so much more peaceful, and there's such a sense of flow. But because we got through our emotional blockages together, um, we don't come up against them anymore, and it's just it. It was almost like, Okay, we went through a period of time where everything just got, like, purged, and it was done in a really conscious way, right? Because I had the skills to be able to do it, and I knew exactly what was going on and and so now it's like we broke through to this new place together where we're like, oh, okay, life is easy. And so as a as someone who's always taught what I think is valuable, I was like, wow, you know, this is really an amazing opportunity for parents to actually go a little bit further than maybe mindfulness or even consciousness, and then it's actually just to be peaceful, and from an evolutionary leadership standpoint, it's actually like the next layer. And I really didn't even know that this was it for me until I actually experienced it. And that is that our we're actually, we're actually done with the old suffering piece. And that's kind of what's happening. We said we weren't going to talk about it, but it's really what's happening with our presidency. And what you know, it's like there are some really big things going on, yeah, but it's really setting the stage for amazing opportunity for people to actually really take control of their own lives

Casey O'Roarty 13:45
totally. I have a I have a I'm just going to pause you right there. I have a friend that was in Washington for the inauguration and for the Women's March, and she posted something that I thought was so powerful, which is her Uber driver at one point, African American man said, you know, this is good, because when someone is sick, you want the symptoms to be obvious. And so right now, our country is sick, and the symptoms are like, right in our face coming to the surface. And so the people right, like the doctors want to see the symptoms so that they can formulate a treatment for health. And so having all of these things showing up, because, you know, in response to the last election, and you know, it's really offering our society the opportunity to see where the treatment is being called for, right? And so, yes, it's a huge, huge wake up call. It is wake up call. And, you know. And another thing like listening to you, I love, I love what you're all about. And I, you know. And I really appreciate this podcast platform, because I feel like there's certain themes that show up over and over again, but they're in different conversations with different. Bowl with slightly different flavor, but at the at the foundational place, you know it's really comes back to, like being ever more aware of your internal experience, right? And like talking about old patterns, multi generational patterns, the modeling that we have as kids, that whole idea that when we feel triggered, it's really the hurts of our inner child. I mean, that is so beautiful. And I was recently in a training and the trainer said, you know, when somebody triggers you, they you know your feelings, your emotional response, actually has nothing to do with the person in front of you, has nothing to do with the person in front of you. And something that I often will work around with my clients is being in that place, growing the awareness to say and naming it. So like all actually, I've had clients who've actually given their trigger, like a name, like Sheila or whatever. Or, you know, what I do is like, Oh, hi, crazy mom, or mad mom, like, of course, you're here right now. I'm feeling this, this and this, so you show up and I've got this so you can, you can stand over here. You Yeah,

but I'm gonna drive the car right now. You're driving, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna, I'm gonna work it out. And so, and I think that that's a stepping stone towards because I think sometimes people can get caught up in like, ah, but I can't make it go away, and so I say you don't have to just let it, it can hang out. You know, you've been this trigger has been with you for a long time, right? We can nurture. We can be tender with this trigger, but we don't have to let it be what is controlling us in the moment, because ultimately, that's going to lead to disconnection and more pain and suffering, right?

Carrie Anne Killeen 17:02
And it is. And so we can break that cycle. And actually, I think of it Casey as this, if you're speaking to me and you trigger me, there's an energy coming out of you, and it's actually moving to me. And what we've what I think society has not even really looked at, in fact, they haven't, is that we're energy as well as physical. And so if you were to say to me something that would be that would trigger something in me, it's actually energy moving through me, and it literally activates energy inside of me that is attached to a fear, yeah. And so the way I think, the way I look at it, and the way that I function is as a as a peaceful human being on the inside, because I've really chosen this path of I'm going to do my work so that I don't contribute to any part of suffering in society. Yeah. And so I really, I am a you call me a light worker. Call me whatever you want. I am a peacemaker in service. So what I think of it is like, when my children have a response or a reaction, that is, that would have triggered me, because it has in the past. I see it as the energies, like moves through me. And I was like, everything is okay. There is no we get we have as parents. We're like, whoa. We have to do something. We're doers, we're doers, we're doers. And what we are missing is that we have to be and you hit it too when you're like, Okay, it's aware. The piece of awareness of I can choose this, and I can I, you know, I name my my trigger. But even more than that, now it's that these triggers have been healed, and they don't, they don't even, they're not even a factor anymore. So my children, as a single mom, my children could be doing X, Y and Z, and we've gotten to the point now where Dr Shefali talks about your presence and your essence, and your essence is, saw is sovereignty. It's actually that you're a free human being, that you're not emotionally triggered. And when you show up in that way, your children sense it, and there's so much more responsive. The parent that I was a month ago is completely different than the parent I am now, because I'm constantly evolving. So when I actually engage with my children now, they get it and they're not there's no reaction. It's just okay, Mom, we understand and and that's monumental. And yeah, so that's monumental, because what we're Miss, what what we're missing, is the energy. And Dr Shefali talks about it, the energy behind the words. Your kids sense it. So how do we exam? Yeah, yeah.

Casey O'Roarty 19:59
Totally get it. I totally love it. Get it fake? Oh, for sure, right? And

Carrie Anne Killeen 20:07
I went right down, yeah, and

Casey O'Roarty 20:08
the way. So I'm an ontological life coach, which means we talk a lot about bringing ways of being alive in the body through posture and movement and, yeah, and, and I just want to, I have this little tapping right now that's happening like, just to because I'm listening, you know, I work with tons of parents, and they really want to be on this path of peaceful parenting, and so, you know, they've made the commitment, and they feel like they're doing their work, and then they have one of those moments where they just fall apart and constantly like, hey, you know what? Even that, in and of itself, is a gift, because you get to now make it right with your children. You get to model what it looks like, to own your behavior, to take responsibility and accountability, and also to declare, this is this is what I'm doing. This is what you will see me do next time when I'm feeling some overwhelm around emotion or this is what I'm practicing every day to help myself, you know, navigate the emotions. Yeah, that show up because we're human. So I I also want to make sure that the listeners are getting that this isn't this is a practice it takes. It's a practice it takes commitment. I love the analogy of like a hiking trail. You know, a hiking trail that 1000s of people have been down. It's really worn down. There aren't any obstacles. You almost don't even have to pay any attention as you're walking down it. And if you look over and you see a game trail right, a slight indent in the underbrush and and you decide, well, I'm going to take that path. You're going to have to be ginger in your walking right, because there's overgrowth and maybe hidden rocks and you but every time you take that path, and with each person that takes that path, it gets worn down, right? And I love that when thinking about the brain and creating new neuro new ways, yeah, and after a while, that becomes the path, and the old path becomes overgrown. And so just wanting to remind listeners, like it's, it's, it's not magic, and it's totally available. Always totally it is available.

Carrie Anne Killeen 22:24
Yeah? I mean, we are. What you're talking about is you're really talking about being expansive and think about in nature. You mean, you're, I'm going to bring the nature analogy. Let's talk about we were like an extension of nature, but we are. We are created to grow, yeah, and so to stay stuck is suffering, and so to expand is to really challenge and really go to places that we haven't been there before. So either it's experience and emotion all the way through, and I love when I mean, I can't even tell you how many times I've broken down and lost it and and guess my kids too. But guess what? It gives exactly what you said. It gives your children the opportunity to see that you're real and you're not hiding it anymore. And it gives them the opportunity that is healing, that's becoming peaceful, yeah, and just to stay on it until the shift occurs, really is what it is, and and we again, it's the perfectionism piece Casey that, oh, like, it's not, we're not being perfect, or we're not showing up perfect for our children. It's like, no, no, no. Your children don't want you to be perfect. They want you to be present, and they want you to be super real, yeah, you know. And they just, they want you to show up, to to they just want you to show up real. So the more you can show up real for them, it it gives them the opportunity to be real. And again that we're talking about, you know, releasing emotional triggers like that is really, that's a really great direction to go in. Yeah, and

Casey O'Roarty 23:57
so, so yes. And when you work with clients, I'm guessing, because I know this is a practice of mine with clients, is is helping them to practice those new ways of being or opening or presence when they're not necessarily in the moment of the trigger, right? So, oh, yeah. What kinds of things do you offer to clients around practices that might not even need the parent child situation happening, but will influence and inspire and inform us for those moments where we have to be open?

Carrie Anne Killeen 24:35
Yeah, so perfect. I like to think of it as I grew up as a coach, and I coached field hockey, and I coached, you know, like

Casey O'Roarty 24:44
you're so east coast. That's so east coast.

Carrie Anne Killeen 24:48
Little I taught I coach little kids all the way up until, you know, varsity collegiate athletes were winning NCAA championships. So what I say is, you're not, I'm not going to throw my. The Middle School, you know midfield are in a collegiate game, right? And so they have to learn the skills the best place that you can work on your emotional triggers before even approaching the parent child relationship, which has the most emotional triggers. Yeah. I mean, maybe we could pull in spouses and significant others into that mix, but we're really focused on the parent. Child is out in out in the community. Yeah, and I'm working with a client right now who's actually a male, and he's wonderful, and he's super dedicated. He gets really triggered. And so right now we work on, well, what's it bring? What's it coming up with you when, like, the Dunkin Donuts woman doesn't get your coffee right, like little things like that is like, yeah, we go into these are my these are my skills. Immediately, forgiveness. Number one, every single person who's showing up right now is doing the best they can in any given moment. We all have massive limit. We have limitations, and we have gifts. Our society is really focused on limitations and bringing out limitations. And so the shift of paradigm is that we actually realize that we need to be compassionate to each individual because we don't know what's going on in their life. So when we're out in society, and this is where I built all, all of my skills before I got into the big game, which was getting into my children, right? Is when I was out in public and I was stuck in like a slow grocery line that used to trigger me, and I'd be like, Wait a minute. I don't know what's going on up there. I'm going to be forgiving. I'm going to be gentle, I'm going to take a deep breath. I'm going to go into compassion. That led me to the doorway of really being able to accept anything I couldn't control. The second thing is, the only person that you can control is yourself, taking all focus off of trying to control any other person. The third is, is just continuing to be in that compassionate human being role towards yourself, most importantly, yeah, and forgiving when you do get triggered, right? Yeah, I got triggered today. Oh, well, you got triggered if you're aware of what the trigger was, and you continue to be aware of it, and then you can, then you start to love it. Yeah? So the the, you know, so don't throw the hardest thing to do is throw yourself into, like, parenting meltdown or whatever, you know, eight o'clock at night when you're I still get triggered at this time of night, eight o'clock at night when you're tired, your kids are tired, and they're just not going to bed. Yeah? Well, that is, like, the big game. That's the Super Bowl, yeah? Totally. The World Series. That's the world Yeah, whatever it is, the bit, it's the end all be or, you know, when you're traveling, whatever, like, give yourself a lot of room for mistakes, because there is no perfect, yeah, there, yeah, there's. It's really all about being tender and loving, yeah, compassionate and forgiving and experiencing emotions that, you know, my my favorite client, I call my favorite client, but he's like, man, I've just really stuffed this stuff inside of me for so long and like, it's kind of time to come out. Like, exactly,

Casey O'Roarty 28:24
exactly. Yeah, I definitely feel like, you know, I encourage parents to journal, journal as a practice of releasing and just looking for opportunities for stillness in their day, so that they can find that feeling their feet on the ground, just noticing their breath stepping out of the ego and the continuous monolog that we all have in our brains and right just doing that work regularly to to increase The likelihood that you can drop into that when you start to notice that, you know, not to stuff anything away, but simply because, I think a lot of our suffering too is, you know, we create it moment to moment, because we've sure developed an inner voice that we now listen To as truth with a capital T, which is actually just this inner dialog that we're that is not, you know, that is just inner dialog. It's not necessarily true to what's happening. Like, I think about that, especially in moments of resentment, right, where we blame everybody, gosh darn. And ultimately, we're really po because people don't read our minds. Like, how could they? How could they not know what I need right now without me having to tell them?

Carrie Anne Killeen 29:47
Well, I mean, it's a different level of communication when we actually are talking about getting better. Casey, imagine and you have such a brilliant community. And thank you so much. Like, we need this. Yes, is actually parents talking about, not talking about what, what the problems are, but actually really being solution focused, which is shifting, which is really shifting the paradigm into like, wow, we have the power to actually do better. And we actually talk about how good things are, yeah, we create more momentum towards having even better things. Line, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 30:24
what you think about you bring about, that's for sure.

Carrie Anne Killeen 30:28
I'm not going to go into the wonders of manifestation that you know is where. I mean, there's some right there people begin. Oh, yeah, totally. But this is really, we're, we're really walking into 2017 from a I mean, I do a ton of evolutionary work with some pretty amazing teachers. It is a new beginning for us, and it is all about going after that dream, going after that dream as a parent to have peace, harmony, flow, Grace. I mean, I dance around my kitchen like it just is, like liberation, because we've been in this, like, locked in system, and that's actually like, what you're seeing is where it's actually like, done. It doesn't work anymore. People are really feeling it. And so the alternative is we just turn to each other and be like, Wow, love the neighbor, you know, really, I mean, I've, I've seen some amazing, you know, some amazing images of of a really peaceful place. And it starts with individuals. It really starts with individuals well,

Casey O'Roarty 31:40
and I think something that's that's interesting and important to point out, like I want to acknowledge, I know that my my listeners, we all have our own points of view. And maybe you're listening and you're thinking, like, actually, I'm not really feeling this shift. And I think that this is also a really great place to to acknowledge that for some people, the idea of inclusion feels a little uncomfortable for whatever reason, right? But I think it's always whenever we start to feel rigid about anything, whether it's like on the big hand, you know political systems in our society, or on the other hand, you know just what's happening within the parent child relationship when we start to feel uncomfortable and we notice the rigidity in our body showing up and we want to push back. That's a really great place to look inside and think about and recognize, what is this? Where? Where am, where is the origin of this fear? Like, what am I afraid of right now? And to just get really curious, because, you know, like that, we don't want to be driven by fear, right, really. And I think about, you know, the world we want to create starts in our home and, like, everything you're saying, Carrie Anne today, I love, love, love. Because any work we can do towards creating more peace in our home, you know, via our own work, our own internal work, but also in the skills that we're offering and modeling and teaching our children like that's all gonna ripple into them, then going to school and, you know, showing up a certain way for their kids and or for their friends. And certainly, you know, I just, I just really appreciate because sometimes, if you look at the big picture, it feels like, Oh, my God, there is so much shit going down in the world right now, and it's overwhelming. And, yeah, but when we remember that the most important place to show up is in our own home. Like, I can do that, you know, yeah, I can do that. I can do that.

Carrie Anne Killeen 33:47
But, and it is, is like, and then, and then, you know, there's so there's so much amazing. There's so many amazing things happening in the world right now. There's, there really is. There really is. And so what we need we can choose to do is we can choose to look at those things, and when we come back to a community like joyful courage, really, joy, yeah, and have the courage to be able to go get the joy and create the joy is so good. The other thing Kath, I haven't even spoken about, is having fun connect again with any type of joy that you have and just and bring more of that alive. Like, I always want to be a ballerina. I never like, I never couldn't I'm like, I can't wait to take ballet lessons because I just there, you know, anything, anything that you can do to connect with you spoke about, about writing, but, you know, a lot of people do walking, but just, it's almost like, like an unleashing, just like, let yourself do it. Yeah, and that that's where our children are really good at, and we really want to foster that is, what do they do that they love to. Do, yeah, totally Yeah, and and help them connect through that. So,

Casey O'Roarty 35:05
so you are the nourished mama,

Carrie Anne Killeen 35:08
right? I am the nourished mama. The

Casey O'Roarty 35:11
nourished mama. What does nourishment mean to you? Nourishment means

Carrie Anne Killeen 35:15
the it's actually like a life force. It's an energy of really, like peace, love and joy, and we create it through our thoughts, and we create it through what we want to align with. For instance, when I get on the phone with you, I instantly feel the sense of joy. And so I would want to do more. I would want to spend more time with you. You know what I mean. So it's like we can choose to nourish ourselves with a, say, a community of of like minded people. We can nourish ourselves with silence. We can nourish ourselves with food. But for me, it's really all about the energy that you're you're giving to yourself and love is the highest sense of nourishment for me. And again, it goes back to, you know, when I started it was nourishing myself with forgiveness, because I was very ungraceful with most everything I did in my life and shooting, including the words that I chose to speak to others with or spoke to myself with compassion, is a sense of nourishment, because it's, it's no longer self, you know, self hatred or it, it is an energy. And so what I called myself the nourish Mama was because I realized that somewhere in my childhood, I missed out on a lot of nourishment, just because I don't think people got how much love really, or really what love meant, and being unconditional and where it's really about unconditional Love means being there no matter what, with non judgment, yeah, and, and, so what I said was, like, wow. Well, I can actually show people how to do this themselves. So I'm like, everybody needs another mom to, like, nourish them the right way. You know, like, love them, show up for them and and just and show them along. And it goes again. It goes to that inner child, loving that inner child, nourishing that inner child.

Casey O'Roarty 37:34
Yeah, well, and I there's so much freedom and possibility, the idea that when we drop into love, like, it doesn't even really matter what, like, how the people around us respond, like, I'm thinking about being in line at the grocery store noticing that, really they should get another this happened this morning, right? Come on Safeway, get another checker. Right, right. Notice that. And I thought, You know what, I'm gonna be standing here for five minutes. I might as well open my heart and and pour out some love to all the other people around me, and maybe energetically shift the dynamic of everybody's morning, or maybe not, but it sure you can shift my dynamic. Well, when

Carrie Anne Killeen 38:18
you do that, though, Casey, you automatic. This is what we don't get quite yet about energy. When you make a choice like that, people feel it, and you really do start to shift. This is the power that we actually have. And so like, when I go into a grocery store and I see the lines, I know without a shadow of a doubt, something a line is going to open up for me. I just walk in, I was like, it's really crowded. I'm like, but I'm not worried, because the line's gonna open up for me, and sure enough, like something happens, or I'll forget my debit card, and someone will be like, let me pay for that for you today,

Casey O'Roarty 38:52
really. Oh yeah, it happened to me.

Carrie Anne Killeen 38:55
Maybe not like the $200 haul, maybe this, like, you know, cat food and, like, loaf of bread, and my kids crying, but you know, really, yeah, totally, yeah. So the energy, yeah, so if we just all dropped into love a little bit more, it does ripple. You talked about it making ripple. It really, really does. Yeah.

Casey O'Roarty 39:19
I'm so glad you came on. Thank you and listeners, I got to meet Carrie Ann because I was a part of a parenting summit that you did last fall, nourish mama parenting Summit, which was such a great opportunity for me, and I'm so glad that we're staying in connection. Yeah, I have one last question for you? Well, actually, it's not technically the last question, but as far as the interview goes, and I love to end my show with this, I ask all my guests, and you've spoken into it a little bit already, but what does joyful courage mean to you?

Carrie Anne Killeen 39:54
Oh, boy, so joyful, really to me, is all about i. So being present in the moment and choosing, choosing to look on the positive side of it like and so to be to do that actually takes courage, because we have a lot of we have a lot of stuff that we have to kind of overcome to be joyful. More joyful. Courage is just really, it's such an amazing word, and I think a lot of people have, I think people have a lot of courage. I don't think people realize how much courage they can have. And to kind of like, harmonize both of them. And what I feel in your community is that you can have both of them and be, you know, be in balance. And that's actually a really beautiful recipe for having a successful and happy life, which I feel like is available for everybody. So it's, yeah, I actually think I explained a little better the first time I was talking about it. But I love, I love that your community is called joyful courage. I think you embody it because you're constantly just going after you're evolving, you're getting better. You're really putting yourself in a position where your your clients and your listeners know that, and it really creates such an amazing opportunity for them to do the same thing. So

Casey O'Roarty 41:28
awesome. Thank you. I love it.

Carrie Anne Killeen 41:30
I love all the things that you're doing. Thanks.

Casey O'Roarty 41:34
Thanks for being a part of one of them, right? So yeah, where can listeners find you and follow your work? Kerianne,

Carrie Anne Killeen 41:43
well, I am currently, I'm going to actually link a three part webinar series for your listeners, specifically where they can get more information about really diving into more peaceful parenting, and rectifying, I wouldn't even say dealing with emotional triggers, but really rectifying emotional triggers that are the pathway to to creating more peace in the family. And so I will provide you with that link Casey, and wherever you want to include it in your podcast, it'll

Casey O'Roarty 42:18
be in the show notes. Okay, awesome. Are you on social media?

Carrie Anne Killeen 42:23
I am. It's the nourish mama, M, O, M, M, a, okay, and that is my Facebook page. Great. Yeah, sweet. Well,

Casey O'Roarty 42:33
listeners, you know, those links will be in the show notes, so you'll be able to find Carrie Anne. Thank you so much for coming on.

Carrie Anne Killeen 42:40
Thank you. It's always a pleasure to talk to you, Casey, and I look forward to more opportunities, and I'll have another summit coming up, so I would love for you to join me. Awesome. Thank you for everything amazing you're doing in the world.

Casey O'Roarty 43:02
Wasn't that so great. I am really grateful to know Carrie Anne and to be developing relationship with her. I just love, I love to look through the world, through her lens, and see all the possibility there. So thank you for sticking around and listening into that conversation, I sure do hope you're taking away some powerful insights and excitement around continuing to deepen and expand not only the relationship that you have with your children, but also that relationship as Carrie Anne was mentioning that you have with yourself, because one of the my favorite quotes from that conversation is that we are created to grow. We are created to grow just like everything else in nature. And to think that because we're adults, because we've reached a certain time in our life, we somehow are done growing is very short sighted, in my opinion. So I just love that invitation. I love that invitation to grow. And speaking of invitations to grow, I'm really excited. I have a new offer going live here really soon, and it is the family meeting, e course, which has been it's been available for a while as a download, an automatic kind of on demand download. But I am going to actually lead the E course with a group of 25 people starting. When did I start that? February 20. So what it looks like is, if you are someone who has been interested and thinking about, you know, the family meeting model, and wanting to begin to provide that experience for your family on a weekly basis, then I am super excited to support you, and by saying yes to the family meeting, e course you're saying yes. To six weeks, and it's not terribly overwhelming. It's one email a week that will give you action steps and prompts and tips for conversation around your family, meetings, how to roll it out in a way that creates buy in from your family. We will also be holding discussion in a private Facebook group only for people that are currently doing the family meeting. E course, I will be showing up a couple times a week in the Facebook group doing Facebook Lives, where you can be asking me questions. I'll be answering and speaking into the conversations that are showing up amongst the community, and really it's an opportunity for all of us to be supporting each other in this really, really powerful, positive discipline tool that grows relationship provides opportunity for our kids to practice all of those tools and skills that we want them to one day embody and come second nature to them as adults. And also the bonus is you actually get to solve problems that pre it provides structure for solution focused problem solving that is helpful and not hurtful. And like I mentioned, I'm only going to hold space for 25 people. So if this is something that interests you, I want you to head into the show notes from this show so that you can see the link for signing up. Registration is open starting today. So again, click on the show notes and find that link and sign up as soon as we hit the 25 Mark. I'm closing the class because I really want to keep it intimate, and that's how I'm going to do it. Cost of the class is $99 a person. $99 a person. And of course, you can share the what you're learning and access with your your co parents, your partners, your husbands and wives, but it is $99 a person. So yes, if that speaks to you, if you're thinking, yes, yes, yes, I want, want, want to participate in that, then don't hold back, because this program will fill quickly. Also, something else I'd like to invite you into as many of you may or may not have seen, I am on a mission to feed at least 3000 hungry people by March 31 and I cannot do it alone. I cannot do it alone. My daughter and I actually, yesterday, went to Costco. We spent about 50 bucks and got supplies and made 25 snack bags with a juice and a, you know, little pack of fruit snacks and a little pack of jerky and a little pack of trail mix. And we're taking it down to our local a local organization here in Monroe, who works with people in transition and families and young moms, and I just really, you know, I want to use this platform to inspire all of you to think about what you can do to support the people in your communities that may be feeling a little bit on the edge, that may be feeling hungry, and have fun with it. You know, I've mentioned this in social media, in the live in love with joyful courage group, but often parents will come to me and talk about how frustrating it is that their children seem to be really lacking in gratitude, and the entitlement factor is showing up. And you know, the best way to instill gratitude in our children is to give them experiences of being in service, giving them experiences of being in service. So call your other friends, invite them over with their kids. Throw a party, have everyone bring some supplies and see how many bags you can create, how many snack bags that you can create to take to your local Volunteers of America or women's shelter or food bank, see what you can contribute, what you and your family can contribute, and let me know I have a Facebook event page for feed 3000 that you I'm keeping a running tally of how many little snack bags are created and distributed around the world. So check in there again. The link to that as well will be in the show notes, and let me know what you've put together. It feels really good, and your kids will love it. So I invite you to get creative and share in our community what you are doing towards the goal of feeding 3000 thank you so much. So so much for all of your support and the ways that you show up for each other in our community. I'm really, really honored to be a guide and a leader for all of you, and just know that each and every one of you. Is giving me the opportunity to grow as well. Really, I am inspired. I am in awe. I am honored to get to be in relationship with all of you. So thank you so much. And by the way, the podcast goal, so I had set a podcast goal of 17,000 downloads for this month, which was a huge, huge stretch as of this recording, as of this recording right now it's Monday, almost noon. We are at 14,526 downloads, woo, woo, which is 3000 downloads more than I've ever achieved in a month. So I just want to celebrate that with all of you. We still have this show going out tomorrow, and I'm sure, as usual, there will be a huge surge in downloads when this show goes live. And so on Wednesday, I'm going to be doing a drawing for some mantra bracelets and some trucker hats. And I've been keeping track of who is sharing the episodes, so if you want to get in on that drawing, please, please, please, my invitation to you is to connect your tribe, your community, the people in your life, with the podcast by sharing it on social media. Make sure to tag me, Casey awardee or joyful courage in your post, and I'll have your name, and you will be entered to win, entered to win. And there is a grand prize if we hit 17,000 which would be epic. That would be an epic download day if we were able to totally rock it tomorrow. Oh my gosh. Then I am also giving away an eight session coaching package, but we got to hit 17,000 for that. So on your market set go. Thank you so much, my friends. I so value each and every one of you, And I hope that you have a beautiful day.

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