Eps 475: Nurturing partner relationships and parenting with Aaron Steinberg
Episode 475
My guest today is Aaron Steinberg.
Aaron is super passionate about equipping couples with the tools they need for the challenges of parenthood. The good news is that these challenges are universal, and we can make changes in our relationships. Aaron and I get into a whole lot in our conversation: family meetings, offering & receiving feedback from a spouse, and how to talk to your spouse when you’re the one with the new tools & ideas to try. I love Aaron’s framing of being “somewhat right” and why the objective truth doesn’t really matter in a relationship. I ask Aaron what he thinks about ambivalence showing up in a long-term relationship and what realistic expectations are in a long marriage.
Guest Description
Aaron Steinberg is a coach and founder of Grow Together, the company equipping couples with the tools, resources and support they need to navigate the relationship challenges encountered during parenthood. He is also co-author of “In It Together,” a comprehensive guide for effectively dividing roles and responsibilities in parenthood while remaining connected.
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Takeaways from the show
- Parenting brings up all kinds of things from our past & can make us feel incompatible with our partner
- Sometimes our needs are seemingly incompatible with our partner’s needs
- Relationships are constant practice
- Family meetings
- Offering feedback kindly & receiving feedback openly
- Separating feelings problems from action problems
- Erasing competitiveness from problems
- Being “somewhat right”
- Ambivalence in a long relationship
- Checking your vision of marriage
What does joyful courage mean to you
As soon as you asked me, I had this imagining of a couple I’ve worked with and this turning point – you said something earlier about leaving your ego behind, and I like to think of it as embracing your ego. Your ego is just yourself, it’s you, it’s your personality. When you said joyful courage, what popped into my mind, it takes courage to accept – yeah, I’m pretty codependent sometimes, and it doesn’t have to be a big deal. I don’t have to freak out about it. There’s this turning point in life that can happen where you can just joyfully and courageously accept yourself. Yeah, I freak out when I feel like I’m not having a good impact on people. I freak out when I don’t feel special to people – whatever. That’s what pops in my head when I hear you say joyful courage – that moment with a couple I was working with recently and that moment in my own life.
Resources
Babyproofing Your Relationship Course
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