Eps 418: Joyful Courage Book Club – Chapter Nine

Today it’s about the feeling I get when I do the thing that I may not have wanted to do. Joyful Courage is that feeling of gratitude for choosing the healthy path, the one that is useful and gets me closer to what I want.

Transcription

SPEAKERS
Casey O'Roarty

Casey O'Roarty 00:05
Hello, listeners. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast a place for inspiration and transformation as we work to keep it together while parenting our tweens and teens. This is real work. And when we can focus on our own growth and nurturing the connection with our kids, we can move through the turbulence in a way that allows for relationships to remain intact, and life skills to be developed. My name is Casey Oh Bertie, I am your fearless host, positive discipline trainer, space holder coach and the adolescent lead at Sproutsocial. Also mama to a 20 year old daughter and a 17 year old son, walking right beside you on this path of raising our kids with positive discipline and conscious parenting you are in for a treat. This episode is part of a 10 part series where I'm reading from my book, joyful courage, calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey that was published in 2019. I'm sharing the book with you and reflecting on where it holds up, and how the work has been expanded in the four plus years after writing it. If you're finding the series in the middle, I encourage you to start at the first episode, joyful courage book club the intro so that you can follow along from start to finish. The series is meant to be a resource to you and I work hard with everything I put out in the world to keep it real transparent and authentic so that you feel seen and supported. Along with this series is a free companion guide designed to prompt you in reflecting on what you're hearing and taking steps to integrate it into your life. You can find the guide and buy your own copy of the book by going to www dot fece browsable.com/jc book. And please don't forget, sharing really is caring. If you love today's show, please pass the link around, snap a screenshot and post it on your socials or texted to your friends. Together we can make an even bigger impact on families around the globe. Enjoy.

Casey O'Roarty 02:07
Okay, hi. Welcome back to the final episode of this limited series, the joyful courage book club. We are on chapter nine you all we started off this book, I started off with part one, which is titled All aboard. You found yourself on the emotional freight train. We went through part two, which was all about getting off the emotional freight train. And now we're wrapping up part three, which is staying off the emotional freight train. I'm so excited for chapter nine. Because it is full of tips and ideas for continuing the journey of joyful courage meaning sustainability, right sustainability man, I mean, we all myself included, we get excited about new things that we're learning. We read things and listen to things and watch things and we get all jazzed and we're ready to change our life. And then life keeps happening, right? And the hard stuff keeps showing up. And like I've said in this series, and in the podcast, so many times we move towards what's familiar, especially when we're not paying attention. We are always going to move to towards what's familiar, what is it that we know, you know, where have we been before. Even if it's not, you know, the most helpful way to respond. It is what is familiar. And so this chapter is all about tools and practices that you can put into place for walking that game trail. Remember, we talked about the game trail for creating a new pathway for elevating our response when things get sticky and slippery, which they do a lot during adolescence. Like they're always sticky and slippery. I just literally just got off a FaceTime with my son, and was in the sticky and slippery as I tried to have a conversation with him about his plans tomorrow night that I want to control and it's not useful. He's almost 18 It's important for him to make his own decisions. Right? Gosh, darn it. All right. So let's get into it. Chapter Nine, chapter nine, continuing the journey of joyful courage. All right. So maybe, maybe it's a stretch for you to consider that shifting your body is enough to get off the Crazy Train. Remember, that's what the last couple chapters have been about really paying attention to the physical experience that we're having, when we're having it right especially when we're triggered. dysregulated flipping out. Let's just remember what fight or flight or freeze or fun which is basically our response. When we're on the emotional freight train, what is that survival instinct good for? It's good for when someone's immediate safety is threatened. Yeah, that's pretty much all I've got safety. If your child is running out on the busy road, yes, please kick it into gear and save them. Or if your child's mental health is spiralling out of control, yes, please don't negotiate that, like, do what you need to do to get them help. Right, lean into that firmness doesn't mean that you become belligerent. But I think something that gets in the way for a lot of parents who want to parent with positive discipline, and positive parenting and gentle parenting is, it feels like, we can't be firm, because we'll ruin relationship. And I'm here to say that we have got to save our children's lives. Right. And this for me, I remember, the biggest test of this was when we were going to take Rowan, my daughter to an inpatient treatment centre for what we thought was an eating disorder. And she thought she was pissed, she did not want to go, she brought out everything, she had to try to convince me that it was the wrong choice. And all I did, I was like a broken record, you guys, I just said, this is bigger than our family. We've got to get you help. This is bigger than our family, we've got to get you help. And I stood my ground energetically, physically, I was committed to this is how it's going to be this is what's going to happen. And I feel like that energy that I brought was helped her finally come to a place of resignation. And then there were no beds. But that's a whole nother story. Anyway, we moved through it. We lived through it. And she's a healthy human being now anyway. That's a little side story. So sometimes, yeah, we've got to lean more into the firm and really be rock solid in taking a stand for our kids, when they're not, for whatever reason taking a stand for themselves. So yeah, if there's a wild animal coming after your family, please let that crazy train energy take over and do what you need to do to fight off the beast. But here's the deal. Most of the time, the challenges that show up in parenting are not emergencies. They feel like emergencies, but they're not. We just respond to them as if they were, you might be thinking but wait a minute, Casey, aren't some fights with our children worth having? I'm here to say that nothing can be accomplished when we are in fight or flight mode. Does that mean that we don't have heated discussions and disagreements? No, we would never get through our parenting journey without lively and sometimes tense conversations. But holding boundaries or standing up for your values are not the same thing as fighting. Do you understand that? Yes. And sometimes we start off strong, right. And we're having those tough conversations. And maybe that conversation does get heated, intense, but we can stay regulated, carry on. But as soon as we cross over into dysregulated, and fearful and hysterical and feeling out of control, or our child or teenager is there, it is time to put a pin in it. Put a pin in it because remember the brain in the palm of the hand, we are in the limbic system. And we don't have access to the tools that we need to have productive, useful solution focused conversations. So put a pin in it people. When asked about the challenges that trigger her emotional freight train, my friend Trisha, community member Tricia shared that it is often tied up with events where my kids are not listening to me, or not completing the tasks that need to be completed at a given time for a given activity. When my kids are excessively whiny, young kids and old, or sometimes even excessively exuberant when the kids make or have made a mess again, when we feel threatened or out of control, our ancient survival skills show up as the emotional freight train and we respond to our children and their behaviour as if they were the bear trying to kill us. Right like we flip. We flip when we're feeling threatened, or we've crossed over into that experience of feeling out of control. We flip most of what our children's behaviour It is, can be boiled down to two things, one, lacking skills to handle their situation, and two misinterpretation of connection, significance or influence over their life. Now, when I read this a little while ago, in preparation for this podcast, I was like, Oh, I think I might add a few things to this. But now that I'm reading it again, know, even our older kids, right, they get into mischief. And a lot of times, it's because they're missing the skills they need for handling a situation. Right? Sometimes that looks like trying to save face in front of their friends, how to say no in a way that, you know, continues to allow them to be a part of the group. Or were very quick to say, oh, you know, just go talk to your boss, just go talk to your teacher, just go talk to your coach, thinking that our kids know what to say, and how to approach that uncomfortable situation without, you know, practising it with them. So again, lacking skills to handle their situation, they look so big, right? I'm thinking about my 17 year old, it looks like he's 25. I mean, I forget that there are big gaps that he is continuously, even now, learning to bridge through experience, and practice and conversation and listening and using all my skills to help him bridge the gaps that he has, with interpersonal relationships with managing his, you know, time and schoolwork and all those things, lacking skills to handle their situation. And then number two, again, misinterpretation of connection significance or influence is a big misinterpretation of connection. So last week, the interview was with Erica Whitfield, and we talked about siblings, right, and how, if you have one of the kids in your family, or more, depending on your family, who are unkind to the other siblings, or just kind of the, quote, Problem Child, chances are that is a kid who does not feel like they fit in the family. And that is a very painful place to be. And like I said in my newsletter last week, you know, our kids care they do, they might act like they don't care, because that's a great way to protect themselves. But they want to feel connected to their family, it does matter to them.

Casey O'Roarty 12:36
In their consciousness somewhere, it does matter to them. And I'll tell you what, when they don't feel like they fit when they feel like they're the problem. I mean, in their mind, it's probably your the problem. But there isn't that connection to the family. There is a disconnection there that fuels mischief and misbehaviour. Okay. So again, it's their interpretation or their mis interpretation of connection or significance, right? And significance to me, is personal responsibility, like having responsibility having purpose, right? Nobody cares about me. So why should I care about myself misinterpretation of significance, or influence power control over their lives? Right. And a lot of kids get to be teenagers and things have been so controlled, and they've felt like their parents had been so controlling, that they're here to say, like, actually turns out, you can't control me, you don't get to call the shots, right, there's no room for me to have a voice. So I'm going to be the only voice, you know, with a big ol middle finger. So when their interpretation of their life is that they have no influence, unless they take it, you're gonna see some mischief and some misbehaviour. So here's a way to think about it. Maybe I already said this, I don't know. But I know I've said this on the podcast, or at least in some of my workshops, I feel like I said it recently, when your kiddo was first learning to walk, right? First, learning to practice the skills, the muscles, the physical experience of being vertical, of being up on their feet. Did you find yourself getting all frustrated that they weren't masters of balance right away? When they took a few steps and then fell down? Did you roll your eyes and consider that they might be playing you? Don't you play me kid, right? You're manipulating the situation. When they got better at walking, that still would sometimes choose to crawl. Did you think they were just being defiant or lazy or looking for attention? No, I know you didn't. That would be ridiculous. Our children are teens. Our adolescents are developing skills over time through the experiences that they are having They're making lots of mistakes, and so are we. And sometimes, when their mistakes leave us feeling embarrassed or fearful or angry, we respond to those mistakes as a threat, right. And this book, I think you've caught on, we're on chapter nine, this book isn't even about our kids, it's about us, it's about you. And I'm going to add, you are also continuing to develop new skills as well. And you're going to make lots of mistakes. So let's talk about how to set you up for success. So the first thing is to support yourself and rally the troops. If you want to make lasting change in your life, do the following, declare it out loud, practice and revisit what it is that you've declared. Right? So declaring it meaning you're ready to go, you're ready to embrace joyful courage, positive discipline, this new way of being more expanded way of being intentional way of being, and show up as best you can for yourself and for others. Great, yay. Put it down on paper, say it out loud. Find a partner or a friend who will listen and really spell it out for them. fill them in on what it is you want to create. Take it from your head and your heart and put it out into the universe. Right? It's amazing what happens when we declare out loud what it is that we want. Personally, I am partial to post it notes. I have them all around my world. They say things like, listen deeply connect through the eyes. And time is abundant. Actually, these were old ones from when I wrote the book. But right now I have a little note on my desk that says you inspire me, when that says be fearlessly authentic. What else do I have less about doing more about being? How can I relate to this differently? Actually, I have a lot of post it notes going on right now you guys, they're little reminders of the way that I want to live. And the beliefs that I want to embody, the other three humans will now to in my home, they see these notes. And while they may not be conscious of it, they're receiving the messages too. Right? So they're out in the world for all to see. So you declare it and then you practice. The other tool I love besides post it notes is the reminder app on my phone. I think I've already mentioned this, when I'm working on a deep practice of love, or trust or surrender or lateness. I set reminders throughout the day. So that I'm prompted to take a moment, or many moments to drop into my body and invite in what I want most. All right, right now I have reminders about like I'm doing some work on my physical body, and how I'm fueling myself and how I'm moving my body. And so my reminders are really about that right now. You've heard me talk about what's familiar throughout this book, we will continue to go to what is familiar till the day we die. If what is familiar is annoyed, then that's where we'll go with what's familiar is resentful, then that's where we'll go. If we want something different. We have to practice something different. We have to teach ourselves and create a new familiar, practice bringing curiosity alive in your body on a regular basis. And it'll teach your body to become more familiar with it. The same is true for gratitude, love, kindness, firmness, lightness, remind yourself to feel these things throughout the day. Right? When I say feel these things, and I'm going to talk a little bit more about this later. I think like if you could give it a colour, what colour would you give it? Like? Let's talk about love more loving, more playful colour is that to you? Right? And if you could imagine, as you breathe in that colour, that energy coming into your body and growing, expanding inside of your body, where would you feel it? Where does love and playfulness exist in your body?

Casey O'Roarty 19:16
And there's no right answer here. And you might be like, I don't really get this and that's okay too. Just imagine that. You could bring playfulness to life in your body. Right, pulling back your shoulders, feeling your feet opening up your senses. What does playfulness feel like? Right? Just practice, pretend play with it, and see what happens. And then finally, like I said, we got declare it, practice it revisit it. Every new practice gets old, right? It doesn't matter if we're talking about diet exercise, doing more reading for fun or shifting how we show up in parenting. The farther away we get from that big declaration. Hello New Year's resolutions. Yeah, the more the motivation wears off, we all know this. A simple remedy for this is to make time to revisit what we want most and why we want it regularly. This could be a weekly self check in, or perhaps daily for a while. Think about it. Why are you making time for this practice? What do you need in order to choose in to joyful courage? Why is this important to you? What is the progress that you're making? These are some prompts you can use, and then reset it. We all jump on the emotional freight train, okay, I do you do? Our neighbours do? Everybody does. We all have those things in our lives, that flip our lids, right? Some of us it takes longer than others. Some of us are quick. We're all human beings having a human experience. And our experience is full of other human beings doing the same thing. Life can be a shit show. And that's okay. It is what it is. When you find yourself out of your practice, when you come up for air and notice that you've been riding the emotional freight train way more than you want to, it's time for a reset. So go back to the start, declare what you want, practice, write those reminders down and keep revisiting, celebrate enough with the perfectionism. I love this. Do you know what those of you that are my clients know, every coaching call that I have with my coaching clients, we do a grounding to start. So I give them a few moments to just energetically drop into the call. And then I asked them, What are you celebrating? And sometimes you know who you are. Some of my clients kind of roll their eyes and they want to say well, not much. And I challenge them to think about something maybe it has to do with their kids. Maybe it doesn't. But I want to start us off from a place of here's what's going well, right and really stretch them into recognising where the celebrations are. Even when the shit hits the fan. And it feels as though the world is on a mission to take you down find something to celebrate your growing awareness about your own response to your children's behaviour is a step in the right direction. Yeah, on that. celebrate that. What am I talking about? Every single moment is an opportunity to learn and grow, to lean in. And to try to be our best. We don't always see every moment as an opportunity. But what if we did? What if we did? What if when our toddler or our teenager is throwing yet another fit, kicking and screaming? What if we said to ourselves awesome. I get to practice patience right now. Thank you, child of mine. Or if when our child tween teenager freezes us out? We say, Okay, this is my chance to not take it personally to practice letting go and to trust. How would that serve us? How would that serve you? I know for me that last one big time letting go practice trusting and not taking it personally. I mean, I am practising that on the daily for sure with my kiddos. I know it's a tall order. But even if we could greet some of the challenges in our lives with a celebration, would that make a difference? I think so. The next tip from this chapter, creating systems, systems and routines work for us to write again, this chapter, this podcast right now. It's all about sustainability, right and staying off the train for longer and longer periods of time. Our willingness to set up systems and routines for ourselves will directly impact how deep we go into this work. I mentioned already that I use post it notes and set reminders on my phone, they work. The point of it is to practice what we want when the risk is low. Right when the challenge is low. Don't wait for the epic kid meltdown. to practice three B's are you're gonna have a hard time accessing it. Remember the three B's breath body balcony. If the only time we're doing them is in the heat of the moment to calm down. There's a good chance our egos gonna be like screw that you're pissed. Just yell, right? Make it a habit to practice before you get in the car, or in the grocery store checkout line every day at 2pm. Right? Create a routine where you're practising the tools outside of the moments that you actually need them that is creating that pathway that's creating a new familiar and that is going to increase the likelihood that you can access that tool when things are really sticky. Practice going through the process of bringing your attention to your breath, noticing your body, and taking the balcony seat, if you're working on a certain way of being, like playful or kind or brave than when you're in the body part of the practice. So this is what I was saying a little bit ago, imagine, the way of being is a light that is, at first only a speck. And with every breath, it grows bigger and bigger as a bigger ball of light expanding in your body. Notice what happens when you're full of playful or lightness or love, or connection or patients, right? Notice what your body posture moves towards when you are growing. That way of being that is kindness, or whatever it is that you choose.

Casey O'Roarty 25:50
When you move to the balcony seat from this place, then you're seeing not only from a broader, bigger perspective, you're also looking through the lens of kindness or the lens of playfulness to understand. So the process, the three B process, there's a couple of different ways we can do it. One is simply to, you know, calm us down, and bring us back to a place of regulation. The other one, if we really want to rock out the balcony seat, we can use it to invite in the way of being what is the way of being that would serve this situation, but as the way of being that would serve this tough conversation that I need to have with my partner or with my kiddo. Right breath, bringing the breath in body body, breathing into the body in a way that lights up that way of being that you've just identified. So that so that when you're looking from a broader perspective, you're looking at the situation instead of from it, you know, Do you can you feel that difference? Like being in it versus looking at it? We can look at it through a more expanded lens. What does it look like to bring playfulness into this conversation? What would it look like for me to bring in curiosity, right are encouragement. Yep. So when you move to the balcony seat, you're seeing not only from a broader, bigger perspective, you're also looking through the lens of that way of being, you're seeing how that way of being can be helpful. So yeah, creating systems and routines for practising the work when the train is not in the station is super powerful. Meditation. Hi, meditation, I'm going to talk to you about meditation. And if there's a collective groan out there, I see you, I know. But here's the thing. Meditation is useful, you guys stillness is useful. And I was just in our membership group somebody was talking about, you know, her worry about her child's screen use and how then imminently, he said, No, thank you, when she suggested an hour a week, everybody puts their screens away and spend some time together, like a way away, like not holding it not in your pocket. And I know lots of you that are listening, you get this, like they are attached to their phone, like it's a limb. And as we were having this conversation I mentioned to I was like, Well, you know, I mean, I notice when I go somewhere and leave my phone in the car, maybe I'm going to an eye doctor appointment, or the dentist or something. And I'm in the waiting room. And I don't have my phone with me, like, I can feel that little bit of energetic agitation, you know that like, oh, where is it, you know, that feeling that addicts get when they don't have their fix. So it's not just our kiddos. But something that's beautiful about meditation is just like with breath brought body balcony, we're creating a new pathway, where we are giving ourselves a chance to feel still right to be in the stillness. I encourage my clients to practice meditation regularly. Meditation strengthens the mindfulness muscles. Meditation supports us in coming back to the present moment, time and time again. One time, when I started my meditation practice, I did not think I was good at it. And I told a good friend of mine that I had a hard time having an empty mind when I meditated. And her response changed everything for me. She said, Casey, meditation is not about having an empty mind. Meditation is the practice of recognising when your mind is full. And coming back to breath back to the present moment. It's the practice of releasing the thought of recognising I'm in a thought, and I can release it. And even whether it's three seconds, 30 seconds, three minutes later for the next thought to show up. It doesn't matter. It's like, you know, doing bicep curls. Right? Every single time we do a bicep curl we get a little bit stronger. are getting a little bit stronger in that bicep muscle. So it's the same thing with meditation. And this made such a huge difference for me when she shared. Isn't that exactly what we need most when we're on the emotional freight train, we need to know we're on it. And then once we realise, oh shit, I'm on the train, then we can choose what we're going to do next. It's about practice again, and wearing down a new path. Another tool that I love journaling, again, I hear the collective groan. I know you're not all Journalers. I am a big fan of journaling. Journaling is an effective way to check in with your practice, to celebrate your progress and to ask questions when you feel stuck. Now some of you might be like, I don't like to write Fine, don't use complete sentences, use bullet points or draw a picture, right? This is yours or you know, something that I did when I was really in it with my daughter post. The book is I would go on long walks. And I would do voice memos. So I didn't have the patience, although I did some journaling. But I would also just speak into my phone and do some voice memos. The idea here is emptying out, emptying out. So this is a place that needs to be useful to you. Spelling doesn't count. Nor does the content really, sometimes all I do in my journal is a great big brain dump. Or I might use it to vent. Or I might simply spend five minutes writing questions. You know what another thing is I do? I write the future. Right? We're so good. At worst case scenario thinking, right? Especially if our kids are getting into mischief. Sometimes I'll write out like the opposite of worst case scenario. And I'll write about my kids about my life about my family in a way that holds the future that I want for myself. And for them. The main thing to remember is there are no rules here. What I will say is that using your journal to beat yourself up or blame the world, for your problems is not super helpful. When you find yourself getting blame me go through and fill and find all the places where you can take some personal responsibility for your current situation, use it to move towards growth and solutions, right. And if you're in a place where you feel really powerless, I just want to acknowledge it's very challenging to shift into personal responsibility. And I would still say like, play with that, where do you have power? Where do you have influence over your life and your experience, use it to move towards growth and solutions. Some of the parents I work with, and myself, meditate and journal in the morning, before the family is up. Some do it before bed, others find time in the middle of the day. The important thing here is that you fold it into your day. So what happens, try it. Give yourself a couple of weeks, see how it makes you feel. Another tip, sleep, hello, sleep. For me getting up in the morning for my quiet time requires that I pay attention to when I'm going to sleep the night before sleep matters. Oh my gosh, we have big sleep conversations in my house, we have some situations happening, I'll just say that. If you get less than seven hours, I really want to write eight because for me, it's very much eight, you need to do something about it, do it, it'll become a mental health issue. No matter how much coffee you drink, make sure you're getting enough sleep, you need endurance for parenting, specially during the teen years. movement. Movement matters. You don't need to do CrossFit, right or yoga every day. But you do need to move your body. This can be a walk around the block a dance around the kitchen stretching in the living room. The important thing is that you're moving the body because the body holds energy. And when the energy is like stress and worry, you know it gets stuck gets stuck in our shoulders, it gets stuck in our hips. And when we move, it moves the energy. It moves the energy. Healthy Body supports a healthy mind and healthy emotions. And I'll tell you what, I work at my computer all day long. So just a couple of days ago, and I kind of ebb and flow with my movement. And I would love to say I get 10,000 steps a day, right? That's not what we're supposed to. Whoever said that. I don't know. I made a goal a few days ago that I was going to start getting at least 5000 steps a day. This is after having many days that barely made it to 1000 steps I'm embarrassed to say but it is true. So set a goal, right like I did which meant yesterday. To meet the goal, I took a walk after dinner, I like to get all my stuff in the morning, it's much more likely that I do it if I do it in the morning, and I'm committed to this goal. So I took some steps. Last night, I went on a great walk actually with my husband, there is time to move, I promise, just take stock of what you are already doing and get creative. To live an intentional life, you have to create intentional practice.

Casey O'Roarty 35:27
What I love about this is that it's available to everyone, everyone can move, right? Everyone can move, you know, making it work for you for your body. Right, we want to move to move the energy. All right, so make it a regular practice to choose the three B's breath, body balcony, declare what you will do, and then practice it, revisit it, reset it, celebrate it, I really want to close today by encouraging you to begin to take care of yourself in a way that is meaningful. Take care of your soul, meditate, journal, sleep, move your body, this will support you in creating the sustainable shift that you want in your parenting. Now, this is the end of the book. And it's the beginning of a new practice my friends, and I invite you to listen again to the series or read the book, get your own copy, and read the book. It's a very quick read. Now that you're at the end, you have a different lens than you had at the beginning. I hope I hope you have a more expanded open lens. And I'm so grateful that you've listened. And as I write at the end, the final sentence of this book, you're amazing. And you're exactly the right parent for your child. That, oh, you're exactly the right parent for your child. And they are the right child for you. They're teaching you every single day, aren't they inviting you into new ways of being inviting you into some of the hardest work you'll ever do? At least that was my experience. That is my experience. So yeah, self-regulation My friends, paying attention being present being intentional. Being mindful, noticing, being willing, emotional freight train is real. And the emotional freight train isn't going to go away. But we can lessen the intensity. We can lengthen the duration between our emotional freight train rides, when we get serious about taking care of ourselves, and creating a practice that supports us. So that's what I've got for you today. What a fun series we just did. 910 I think it was 10 shows. So thanks for hanging out with me all summer. This came out during the summer of 2023. So just in case you're listening to it at a different time. Thank you and reach out be in touch. I would love to know how the emotional freight train, concept and experience and what I've created for you over the last 10 solo shows. How has it affected your life? What kind of impact has it made on you? What have you started to do differently? Feel free to reach out, you can always email me at Casey at joyful courage.com You can shoot me messages in my social media. I would love to know how this work has impacted your experience of being a parent. All right, that's what I got for you today. I'll see you next week with a brand new solo show. Having nothing to do with the emotional freight train or the book. So tune in then. Bye.

Casey O'Roarty 38:58
Thank you so much for listening. Thank you to my Sproutsocial partners as well as Chris Mann and the team at pod shaper for all the support with getting this show out there. Don't forget get your free companion guide to this series created to expand your learning and your own copy of the book by going to be sprout double.com/j C book. I'm so appreciating you and I'm here to support you and your journey of parenting tweens and teens. Find me on social media or shoot me an email at kisi at joyful courage.com to discover how we can work together. Tune back in on Monday for a brand new interview and I'll be back with another solo show next Thursday.