Eps 255: Solo Show Exploring the Possibilities of a New Year

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:05
Case Hello, friends. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place where we tease apart what it means to be a conscious parent and a conscious human on the wild ride of raising children. I am your host. Casey overti, I am a positive discipline trainer, a parent coach and mom walking the path right next to you as I imperfectly raise my own two teens. This is the first show of 2021. I am so excited to be showing up for you today. I hope that you transitioned through the holiday season with as much ease and grace as possible. You are about to hear me talk about a lot of exciting new things happening here in joyful courage land. Before I get into all of that, I want to give you the joyful courage community a big, huge thank you, especially those of you that have been with me for a while and have reached out with emails and messages of love this last year was beyond, beyond anything any of us saw coming, beyond anything I saw coming, but moving through it, I found that walking my talk and finding inspiration from you to practice what I preach made all the difference. I am honored to lead you. I am honored to know that what I create matters to you, and I am so flippin stoked to keep creating for you and reveal all that is in the works. Thank you for who you are and for being in the community, enjoy the show.

Welcome. Welcome to 2021. People. Browser, do you feel different or what I've missed you all over the last couple of weeks, it's always so weird to take a little break from putting out shows. It feels like I'm forgetting something all the time. And now here we are. The show goes live. January 4, 2021, 2021, oh my gosh. I know that there hasn't been a drastic shift simply in the refreshing of our calendars, but there is something in the air. At least I am choosing to feel something in the air, something other than the more contagious form of covid, that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about that being in the air. I'm talking about change and possibility and recovery. Recovery. I know things remain precarious with covid. My kids continue to be homebound. School continues to be online. There's still plenty to be what the fucking about, right? And yet, I don't know. I feel a shift. I feel like we're on the downslope. And maybe it's because I can see the ways that my husband is recovering from the cancer adventure that we started in April, for those of you that are following, he continues to get stronger every day, and his spirits are super high, and We are making our way towards day 100 post transplant, which is January 20, and once he gets to that point, they're gonna do all the testing again and see they'll be able to see the impact that the stem cell transplant had on his Body, and hopefully there's no cancer, yay. So I see it's slow progress, but I do see his recovery, and maybe it's also the way my teenage daughter approaches me for a full body hug every single night she is here for it. And again, for those who have listened to the podcast for any length of time. You know that my relationship with my daughter has been through the ups and downs of the teen years on steroids, if you didn't check out my conversation with her and her reflection of her mental health journey. Make sure that you listen to episode 252, because that one was super powerful. And I'm really, really, really grateful for her journey, and everything that I've learned along the way, and just watching her grow and blossom has been amazing. Or maybe. Maybe my hope is coming from watching my son continue to grow to incredible heights, both literally and figuratively. The kid has not stopped growing. He is towering over all of us, and you know, in my little world, life is moving forward in the most beautiful and easy way, in this beautiful, easy energy. And I am so deeply grateful. I'm feeling extremely inspired and creative in my work, and just sitting on top of this mountain of gratitude for everything that exists in my life and that is inside of pandemic and cancer and mental health and the very real challenges, some of which are unique to my experience, a lot of which is collective, right? And I recognize too that I am choosing into that I am making a choice to be in gratitude. I'm making a choice to be in acceptance. And as we head into 2021 I really want to explore more the choices that we have, the choice points that we have and how they are so connected to our present moments. I think it was jury Cottman during the adolescent mini summit just a year ago who said anxiety is worrying about the future and depression is regret from the past. And then just this morning, I was listening to a new podcast with Seth Godin being interviewed, and he said, You can't be stressed and also in the present moment at the same time. Now, the host pressed him on this, and as he explained it, I was able to really let go of my initial resistance to the idea and wrap my head around it in a new way. You can't be stressed and freaking out and in the present moment at the same time, I'm just kind of intrigued by that possibility, right? Because that feels really powerful, that feels really powerful. And as I explored this more, I found this quote from a writer named Mirko thumb. I hope I'm pronouncing that right, and this quote is the present moment. Is the only thing where there is no time. It is the point between past and future. It is always there, and it is the only point we can access in time. Everything that happens happens in the present moment. Everything that ever happened and will ever happen can only happen in the present moment. It is impossible for anything to exist outside of it. It is impossible for anything to exist outside of the present moment. Hot damn. Why are we not working harder to hang out there, right? I mean, what? I love this, I loved this exploration and this rabbit hole that I went down, because, you know, the present moment is clearly where it's at, right, the present moment is clearly where it's at, and I feel like we're all offered the opportunity to be there, you know, again and again and again and again and again. And I think if we're going to be making any declaration, declarations about the new year, it should be to practice returning to the present moment again and again and again. You

we will all be so much more at peace, hopeful and calm if we teach ourselves to spend more time in the present moment, if we practice returning to the present moment if we let go of our attachments to our worries about the future and our regrets and resentments about the past. Now, notice I didn't say let go of our worries about the future, really, that's easy, like, let go of our worries. It's really more challenging to let go of our attachment to those worries, right? Who are we if we're not worried about the future? Who are we if we aren't ruminating about the. Asked, Who are we if we are living in the present moment, can we sit there? Can we let go of hanging on so tight to needing to know, you know? And I ask myself that question too, because, Whoa, it's a big question. It's a big question. Listen, I love the new year. I asked I just threw out on my Facebook page, like, what do you guys feel about how you feel about the new year? Like, what's your what's your experience about rolling into a new year? And I was really surprised by some of the passion that showed up in in the answers to that question, people are really they have very strong opinions about the new year, this particular New Year and New Year celebrations in particular, right? We all want to say, stay safe. And hopefully you did, hopefully, you kept it small and chill, and didn't, you know, go out to a rave or party with large groups of people, because we are still in a pandemic, and we are absolutely all still working towards just Finding some safety inside of it, but, but the new year, the concept of something new is really what I was asking about, the concept of moving from one reality into another. And I recognize like it's just one day to the next. I know that it's, you know, a social construct that it's not that big of a new door opening, but there's still something to it that I really love. I love printing out my own custom designed planner every December getting ready for the new year. I'm obsessed with it. Shout out to Stacey, a brilliant woman that I met through a program I did years ago who made her own planners and inspired me to create my own there are so many things that I want in a planner, and none of them that I find out in the world fits my needs perfectly. So I created my own new year new planner. Feeling really good about that, I am really curious about, what gets you excited about moving into a new year. What are you excited about? What are you willing to let go of? What are you ready to surrender to? I would love to hear from you on this. I am excited not only because of my new suite planner and the overall amazing vibe in my home, but also because joyful courage is going next level this year, friends, next level in service to all of you. As the breadwinner of my family. I am committed to bringing some serious financial abundance in and pouring out to all of you, pouring out this little podcast, slash community, slash offerings. This is not a hobby. This is my calling. This is what I was born to bring to the planet, and we are going to be stepping it up for you all this year. I'm so excited. One bit of clarity that I can share with you right here, right now, is around the declared pillars of joyful courage. You're going to hear a lot. You're going to hear me talk a lot about this. You always hear me ask my guests about what joyful courage means to them, and I have spent some time getting ever clearer on what it means to me, what the business of joyful courage stands for. Are you ready? Are you ready to hear it? It's all about grit, and let me tell you what grit stands for growth, as in personal growth, joyful courage is all about growth. This comes first. This is the point. This is the purpose of everything in life, to grow, to expand, to learn and step out into the world differently, because of all of our learning, of all of our expansion to fall, to recognize you fell, and get up without any blame or shame towards yourself or towards others, just the desire to pay better attention, To learn from the fall and to move forward, right? So growth, relationship, relationship, yes, joyful courage puts relationship at the center of everything. This is a parent education company, absolutely and relationship matters. It can be. Little challenging to wrap your head around this sometimes, especially you, parents of teenagers out there who seem maybe they don't really seem to want anything to do with you. And relationship is everything. It is the mothership. It is the foundation. And when we tend to the relationships in our life that matter. Magic really can happen. I can't even tell you how many clients I've worked with who at the beginning of our time together are at their wit's end. They're in desperation mode. They'll try anything. We start talking about relationship and nurturing relationship, and it's hard, and they can't, and they don't want to, and then okay, they'll try, and over time, the efforts they make towards changing and nurturing their relationship with their kids shifts everything, everything, man, sometimes we have to be so, so patient and really also be leaning into that growth, right, the G growth, to trust that the relationships that matter to us are meant to be as they are. Oh, man. And then finally, grit. Remember, we're talking about grit, so we've got growth relationship, finally, tools, influential tools, yep, joyful Courage isn't just about the fluff. Man, I don't even want to call it the fluff, because growth and relationship is not fluff. It is like rock solid, important, and there are so many useful tools, many of which come from the amazing positive discipline philosophy, which you all know I'm trained in, that can aid us in creating the home and family environment that we want. Most tools, tools are super useful when creating boundaries and setting up expectations. Tools support us in communication and problem solving. However, without those first two pieces, the growth and the relationship, the tools just aren't enough, right? So it's the fusion of those three things, the three things that I'm calling grit, growth, relationship and tools, those three things together, when we can combine all three of those things, we are in the sweet spot. Peeps, we are in the sweet spot. You're gonna hear me bringing up grit a lot. I'm going to talk about it with my podcast guests in the work that I do, and I'm going to bring it into the new community space that my team and I are curating for you. That was just little tease, more on that soon, but I'm really, really, really excited. Yay. What I want you to do today is to take some inventory of your own grit. What have you created in the context of growth? How have you been growing? What has been your commitment to personal growth? Where are you at with that today? And what about relationships? You know, look around at your family, the people you spend the most time with. How are those relationships take stock? And what can you do to generate what you want in those relationships? If what you want is ease, how can you start to show up with more ease? How can you generate ease inside of relationship? How can you generate connection and love and respect, right? How can we create that? Well, at first, it starts with bringing it to life in our own body

and perhaps having a conversation with that other person about how that quality seems to be missing and inviting them into the work of nurturing relationship, right? And what about tools? What are the tools that you tend to be using the most of and if it's an annoyed and irritated tone of voice, that's a tool, I challenge you to perhaps take a breath and consider that there might be more tools in the box to be using right when all we have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. So we want to remember that there are a lot of tools that we can be using to support our kids and ourselves in a. Are showing up better and being more cooperative, more collaborative, right?

When you consider the challenges that you may be currently having, ask yourself, is this an opportunity for me to grow. Is it relationship that needs tending to, or is there an influential tool that would be useful for right here, right now? And I challenge you, I challenge you to sit with the first two questions, which were, is this an opportunity for me to grow? Is it relationship that needs tending to? Those are the first two questions. More likely than not, your answers will show up in either growth or relationship. Now notice how quickly we go to Tools, right? We quickly go to tools. We skip over the growth and relationship. We go to tools. Why do we do that? Well, because it's easier. It's easier to think there is something we can do to get the other person to do what we want, than to sit with the possibility that perhaps it's us, that we could grow, that we could shift or change, or that perhaps the relationship needs tending. So I challenge you to sit with those two and see what comes up, and we'll talk more about this as we cruise deeper into 2021. I'm so excited. I'm so excited. So, yeah, I have a lot of things coming, which also includes, also includes a new Summit, a new summit I am today is the first day that we are promoting the first summit of 2021, and you all are gonna love it. You're gonna hear a lot about it over the next four weeks. It is called parenting for a brave new world, friends, holy cow, 2020. So much, so much that we've been through, so much that we continue to sit inside of but you know me, I'm all about growth, relationship and tools, right? I'm all about stepping into joyful courage as often as possible. So we've had this year. The year continues, even as we change the calendar, my question to you is, what do you want to create? What do you want to create? What does a brave new world look like to you? I have collected five incredible speakers to talk with you, to share with you about navigating the challenging school setting, right online, hybrid, whatever it looks like for you. Jessica Leahy is my guest for that. She's the author of Gift of Failure and just an all around brilliant human. I have someone coming to talk about adolescent well being and Health Dr Hina Talib, she is the teen health doc on Instagram, and again, also is a brilliant human being, super passionate about adolescent health. I have Dr Tracy Baxley coming. She's the founder of social justice parenting. She's going to talk about raising the social justice advocates that the world needs super excited about her. She is amazing and thoughtful and brilliant. Megan DeBoer, from tended wealth, is going to come on and talk about embracing our financial literacy and modeling that I know, that a lot of us, you know, finances through this last year have been precarious, and maybe they were already that way before the year started, maybe the year brought that to you. We're, you know, we all have money issues, and they look different for everyone, and we learn a lot of it from our parents. And there's a lot of you out there who have asked me about what it could look like to create something different for your kids and their mindset. Megan's going to dig into all of that with us. Can't wait. She's actually my finance coach, so I love her. And then finally, Elena Lipson. Elena Lipson, who is the self care diva, self care mentor. She's amazing, and she's gonna come on. She's my fifth interview, and she is talking about parenting, about tending to our parenting soul. So we're gonna talk about stuff like. How to sit with it. You know, often you might follow people who say that something that's really important when we're having a lot of feels, is we gotta be with it. We gotta sit with it. What does that mean? What does that even mean? Right? She and I tease this apart in our interview. She's got a lot of really lovely ideas around what it really means to tend to ourselves and take care of ourselves in a way that is powerful and sustainable and transformative. So I'm really excited about the speakers. I'm also really excited because for the first time, I'm going to offer a VIP pass to the summit. So there's the summit, which is amazing. And you'll get i all five interviews. You'll get the transcripts to all the interviews. We are going to house the summit in the joyful courage Academy, so it'll be easy to access. You'll get emails from me every day. We'll have a community space for discussion. It's going to be amazing. And if you choose into the VIP pass, the VIP pass gets you some swag, some joyful courage swag. If you are in the United States, and while supplies last, you'll be getting some goodies from me in the mail. You will also get to take part in some live master classes with the speakers. So if you listen to, I mean, you're going to listen to all of these and think to yourself, oh my gosh, I love every single one of these women because they're amazing. I want to spend more time with them. We are going to make that happen. We are going to give you the opportunity to spend more time and engage back and forth with the speakers if you opt into the VIP pass. I'm also going to create a workbook that goes along with all of the speakers, that will be a place where you can take notes. I did something similar for the teens and screens, but this is going to be a little bit more, a little extra, more like a workbook slash journal, a place where you can really do your own reflecting and learning and note taking. So the VIP pass is so amazing and is available to you. So you get to decide. You get to choose your own adventure and decide what your Brave New World Summit is going to look like. And registration is open right now. You can register starting today at joyful courage.com/b. N, w, b n, w, like Brave New World. That's joyful courage.com/b. N, w, I am so excited. The Summit's going to run from February 1 to February 5. You know the drill. You know it's going to be great. It's, you know, it's appropriate for for all parents, specifically parents of tweens, preteens, teens. We do talk some a bit about adolescents, but if your kids are younger, I think that you would really enjoy it also. So head over to the landing page. Check it out, joyfurch.com/bnw, and get yourself registered. I'm so excited I will be back next week with an interview that you're not going to want to miss with the author of untiring our parenting. Thank you for listening. I so appreciate you. Bye.

All right. Thanks again for listening. If you feel inspired and you haven't already, do me a favor and head over to Apple podcasts and leave a review. We are working hard to stand out and make a massive impact on families around the globe, and your review on Apple podcasts helps the joyful courage podcast to be seen by even more parents. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And don't forget. Don't forget, today is the first day to sign up for the upcoming parenting for the brave new world mini Summit. You do not want to miss out on that. Go check it out at www dot joyful courage.com/b. N, w, that's joyful courage.com/b. N, w, again, thanks for listening. Love You.