Eps 211: Finding the joy in missing out with Tonya Dalton

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Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:04
Hey listeners, welcome back to joyful courage, a conscious parenting podcast. I am so happy you're here, tuning in, listening and finding value. And what I have to share this podcast is all about being authentic and real on the messy, messy journey of parenting. And you know, I don't hold back, whether I am speaking to you on a solo show or in an interview. My goal is always to provide value and transparency, because even when we know all the things, this path is full of curve balls, things go sideways, the narrative changes, and I want to be a voice for you and for myself that says everything's going to be okay. Thank you so much for walking alongside of me. Hi, listeners. My guest today is Tanya Dalton. Tanya is a productivity expert, writer, speaker and founder of Inkwell Press productivity company, a company centered around productivity tools and training. She released her book The joy of missing out on October 1. She's going to share a little bit about her book with us. Tanya is also the mother of two teenagers, and really knows what it means to be the leader of a family. Hi, Tanya, welcome to the podcast.

Tonya Dalton 1:26
Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, will

Casey O'Roarty 1:28
you that was not a huge intro. I know there's more that we want to know about you. Will you please share with the listeners a little bit about your journey of doing what you do?

Tonya Dalton 1:37
Yeah, absolutely. I'd be happy to because, as you mentioned, I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm a podcaster and an author, and I'm a recovering perfectionist. So yeah, so you know, I I've been on a journey of productivity for for years and years now, and really one of the things I'm most excited about with chatting with you is really how we use our productivity to allow us to focus more time with our families, how we use our productivity to really instill, you know, those kinds of project management and the things that really help our kids flourish and grow as they become adults. And so that's what really excites me about our conversation today is that I feel like so often people feel like productivity is one of those things that's just, you know, something for the office space. And really, I truly believe we want to be productive in all areas, and it's so important to impart some of those things, those lessons that we've learned, onto our children. And so I've been doing that for years, you know, working with my kids. You know, I've had started my first business back when they were really little, playing at my feet, and so they've been a big part of the journey. They they have been a big part of the business that I've grown. We really do run it as a family, first company. And so it's, it's really great to be able to chat with you about all that. Yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 2:59
and your book, from what I've heard about your book, it inspires women to reject the pressure to do more, be more and achieve more. And this message really runs contrary to the way that so many women are presenting themselves to the world. I'm thinking social media posting pictures of our high achieving kids and our perfectly designed home spaces and are organic, made from scratch meals. It's like, oh my gosh, you know. And we all know like, Okay, this is just a frame, and there's probably a shit show going on outside of the frame. And yet, we're still looking at these pictures and comparing ourselves and feeling, you know, less than often, what are you hearing from women about your message of slowing down and doing less?

Tonya Dalton 3:45
I think women feel like it's this, like, really nice breath of fresh air, like I what I've heard from several women is I love it feels like a permission slip, like I feel like I have permission to just stop chasing my tail, you know, and running around busy. I think there really is in society today this glorification of busy, that we think we are supposed to be busy. If we are not busy, we are somehow failing, that we're not doing enough, we're not being enough, we're not enough in general. And I think that's really kind of an issue that's going on right now. Because I see it, I see it on notepads, I see it on posters. I see it on notebooks and coffee mugs. I am so very busy, and I think to myself, you know, what does that really mean to be busy? It really just means we're chasing our tail, running our self ragged, and it doesn't mean we're really doing anything of importance. It doesn't really mean that the work we're doing on a daily basis is fulfilling. We're filling our calendars, but we're not really filling our souls. And I think we forget that we need to be taking care of ourselves, taking care of our family, and really, you know, working towards our best lives. Instead of worrying about checking 1000 things off our to do list, let's worry about checking, you know, two or three important tasks off our list. And really using our time to focus in on what matters most. And for many of us, that's our families, our kids. And so it's been really refreshing, because so many people have looked at this book as being more than just a book. It's like a movement like, let's let go of busy. Let's just release that and say it's okay not to be busy. It's okay not to be perfect, for crying out loud, let's embrace our beautifully imperfect selves, because, you know, we're setting ourselves up to these standards that are not just unachievable, but they're unlivable. They're not really what we want, but it's what we think we are supposed to want, because that's what we see well.

Casey O'Roarty 5:39
And I was just listening to another podcast. I love armchair expert back Shepard podcast, and he was talking with another actor, and they were just talking about how, you know, setting goals for them was about, oh, when I'm an actor, I'm going to be so happy, and everything's going to be great. And then finding that they've reached those goals, but they're still living inside of not enoughness and disappointment. And I think that, you know, and I can't even tell you, especially on the parenting journey, like I just did an explore call with a potential client, and she was sharing with me about the struggles that she's having and just this feeling of, I didn't know it was going to feel like this. This is hard, you know. And I think there's this crazy continuum, or not even a continuum, but this expectation of like, do it all, you know, show up for your kids, show up for your friends, show up for your community, show up if you work outside of the home. But then there's also this cry out that's like, self care and mindfulness and being present in the moment. And it's like these two,

Tonya Dalton 6:51
like, very contrarian, right, together are

Casey O'Roarty 6:54
and, you know, even as I say that, I realize too, like, how well the mindfulness piece just feeds everything. It's just makes everything better. And I think it's a practice that can help us loosen up on the other end of the continuum around like, oh, I have to, you know, all the have tos,

Tonya Dalton 7:11
yes, oh, well, we're always shooting on ourselves, right? We're like, oh, I should be doing this. I should be doing that. Oh, I should have done this. We're constantly shooting on ourselves and right? I think because we're doing that, we're not really living up to the life that we really want. We're living up to the life we think we're supposed to want, or the life that everyone else expects of us, right, doing the things that really matter most to us. I like to tell people that I'm a productivity expert, which means I get them in the door, I go, come over here, we're talking about productivity. And then they come in, and I go, it's really about mindful living. It's really about living with intention. That is what true productivity is. True productivity is not about doing more. It's about doing what is most important, and that means doing fewer things. It means focusing on the things that truly matter most, and being fully present, being fully engaged. Because really, that's when we begin to see growth. That's when we begin to see movement in the direction we really want to go. We have to let go of that someday syndrome, you know, someday when I lose 10 pounds, I'll be happy. Someday when I'm an actor, I'll be happy. Someday when I do X, Y or Z, I'll be happy. And really, you know that that's the problem right now I have with goals. Is the goal is, is the destination. There's a whole journey to get you there. Let's, let's find some joy in that journey. Let's, let's remember that life is meant to be enjoyed, not just endured,

Casey O'Roarty 8:33
right? And, you know, because we're, you know, in the context of parenting, we are living inside of human relationships. Yes, it's not always rainbows and unicorns, right? And our listeners know, yeah, my listeners know I'm pretty transparent in you know, what's going on for me on my journey. And it has been it's been tough. It's been really, really tough, and I've had to evaluate, reevaluate what it means to be deeply patient and slowing down, as well as releasing the narrative that I was holding for my child. I uh,

Tonya Dalton 9:25
yes. Well, and the story that we hold for ourselves, I talk about this in the book, this idea of these stories that we tell ourselves. A good mom always does this, a good good mother always does that, or she never does this. A good wife does this. We hold ourselves to these impossibly high standards of what is good and what is bad, and it's very black or white, and that is really unattainable. In fact, we would never hold anyone else up to these expectations. And the problem is a lot of these stories that we tell ourselves about what it means to be a good mom. Mm. Really is steeped in other people's beliefs. It's things that society tells us that we should be doing again. It's that idea of shoulding Right, right, that we should be doing this. A good mom always has, you know, an organically prepared meal on the table every night at on time. A good mom never snaps at her kids. A good mom, you know, does all these things and it's like, listen, we're human. We're gonna get impatient. We're gonna get frustrated. Every time you think you got the parenting thing down, it changes our best to keep up with it, right? And so I think this is the thing is we have to let go a lot of these old stories that we're telling ourselves, of of what it really looks like to be a good mom, or what it net what a good mom never does that's just as strong, I think so, letting go of some of those expectations and really leaning into who we really are and who we want to

Casey O'Roarty 10:47
be. Yeah, yeah. I find that, you know, people often will come to me for parent coaching and want to talk about the challenges that their kids are having, which is super valid. And, you know, there are tools and strategies and routines and things that we put into place for our family to work together better and build resiliency, but really, the conversation comes to exactly what you're saying, like, what are our beliefs? What beliefs are we holding about ourselves? What is the baggage that we've brought into this process, and the conditioning that we've brought into this process, and how is it, you know, leading the charge? I think so many of us are living in a way that we're not necessarily tuning, like questioning our own responses to the world, or our own reactions to the world. And it starts to get really interesting. I think when we look at like, wow, why is it that that thing really bothers me? Why is it that when they say this, I can feel triggered. But over here, even like Kid to Kid. I mean, you have more than one kid, you know, yes, you know, I think it's, it's, we'd like to say like, Oh no, we treat our kids the same, and it's bullshit, right? Because, yeah, and

Tonya Dalton 12:03
we really don't want to treat our kids the same, right? Our kids are unique individuals, and each one has different wants and needs and ways that they're loved and and things that they they require,

Casey O'Roarty 12:12
yeah? And they, you know, they tap into different parts of, you know, stored away stuff that is, I mean, really surprising, startling, but I think it's so awesome when we wake up and say, like, you know what? I'm gonna get curious about how I'm responding to life today, right?

Tonya Dalton 12:35
We need to question it. We need to question it. We need to stop just staying on the path, because this is the path that's in front of me, you know, it's called a comfort zone, because it's comfortable. It's good to stray and to get out of your comfort zone and to ask yourself, Is this really the path I want, is this really the way I want a parent? Is this really the life I want to lead and to step outside of yourself and question those things, how am I doing as a parent? I think that, you know, a lot of times we ask ourselves, oh, gosh, am I a good parent? Just the fact that you ask that question, am I a good parent, means you're a good parent. It means you care. It means that you want to do better, which I think are signs that we're good parents well,

Casey O'Roarty 13:12
and I love that too, because, you know, and my listeners hear me say this all the time, the messiness isn't an indication that you're doing something wrong. Yes, right? And I Yeah. And I just, I come back to that over and over again in my own practice. And when we're looking at like, is this the life I want to live? So often, we like, take that and put it on the other people in our lives, well, if they would just do this, and this person would just do this, and these external things would change, then I'd be living the life that I want, and it's such an inside job. But I would love to hear from you like, Where have you on your journey? Where have you let go of expectations? Where have you shifted in your story? So I'd love to just kind of hear from your personal experience of doing your work.

Tonya Dalton 13:56
Well, as I mentioned, I am a recovering perfectionist, so it's a work in progress to continually remind myself that I'm not going to be perfect. And in fact, by not being perfect, by, you know, letting that facade of perfectionism crumble aside, it allows me to let people in. It allows other women, other mothers, to see in on my journey, and to see that, you know, there are things that are easy and things that are great and there are things that are really, really hard.

Casey O'Roarty 14:22
Wait a minute, you wrote the book, Tanya, come on, isn't it?

Tonya Dalton 14:27
I mean, this is the thing is, is no one is truly got it all together. None of us truly have it all together all of the time. And so I think really, when we let go of those facades of perfection, it allows other women into our circle. But I also truly believe it allows our children into our circle. I think that one of the things that we do as mothers is we think we have to be the cruise director. We have to direct everyone on where they need to go. We need to lift everybody up. We need to be the one who always takes care of everyone

Casey O'Roarty 14:57
else. We're Julie. We're Julie, right?

Tonya Dalton 14:59
It's weird. Julie the cruise director, that's exactly right. But here's the thing, I really believe that when you let your children lift you up, when you allow your children to see that you do not always have it all together, that you are not perfect, you allow them into your circle. You allow them to feel more a part of the team. I mean, if you think about it, allowing other people to lift you up is a gift you can give anytime that you get to lift a friend up who needs a little bit of help, who needs a little bit of assistance, we we always feel good about that, don't we? Don't we love helping our friends. So allowing other people to lift us up is a gift, and that really does include your children. It does bring them into the team because they feel like they're a contributing member. And I think so often we think that we have to have it all together, because if mama lets it, you know, let's let's the crack show, the whole show is going to fall apart. And it's not true. It's an opportunity to allow your children to step up to the plate. It's an opportunity to let your significant other or your spouse or whoever it is in your life to come in and help you and add assistance to your life. And I really think this is one of the things where productivity does play an important role. You know, allowing people in to know what your systems are, to allow them into your weekly planning.

Casey O'Roarty 16:18
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Tonya Dalton 18:40
and the listeners, well, absolutely, because, truly, I refer to us as team Dalton, because we are a team. We're more than a family. Every member of the team does their part to lift and encourage and support one another. If one member of the team is a no show, we got to figure out what to do here, right? We need to bring them back in. We need to lift them up and help them get back on track as well. And so for me, that has been, you know, something that I started when my kids were really little. As I mentioned earlier, I started my first business when they were teeny, tiny littles playing at my feet. And even then, I wanted them to feel like they were a part of my inner world. And so I would say things to them, like, oh gosh, you know, I have this giant stack of papers, and they all need stamps. I need to stamp all these pages. Ah, you know, I just don't think I can do this on my own. And they, of course, would say, Oh, I help. I help, right? And even at 16 years old, they still say I help. They say it in other ways, but they still want to be a part of it. And I would bring them in, and I'd say, Okay, can you stamp all these papers? And they would start stamping, and I'd say, oh my gosh, this is such a big relief. This is such a big help to me. Now, truth be told, those pages didn't be stamped. I didn't need those stamped at all. I just wanted them to feel like they were a part of it. I wanted them to feel like they were part of the of the business. I wanted them to feel like they were part of what I was working on so they didn't feel excluded. And that has continued even. And today, with my 16 year old and my 13 year old, they come to the office from time to time. They help make boxes. They help prep for launches. They help, you know, with shipping and doing things like that, because they truly feel like they're a member of the team. And I think it really is this idea of, you know, letting them see behind the curtain, letting them see that mom doesn't have it all together. And mom doesn't need to have it all together. We need to work together to build this team mentality and come together and work. And so a lot of that really comes from communication. You know, I really, instead of just telling your kids what they need to do and how they need to do it, creating a conversation around that. Well, here's the tasks that I think need to be done. What do you what do you what do you think you could be really helpful in? What do you think you could help with? How do you think you could help with this? Letting them have ownership really does allow that buy in that we want. Yeah. So for me, one of the ways that I do this on a regular basis is I do Sunday planning with my family. So we do team planning every Sunday we get together, we all bring our calendars and our planners, and we meet together and we talk about what's going on for the week. What's happening this week. When do we have, you know, volleyball practice? When do we have play rehearsal, those types of things, and they get written down, and my kids are responsible for getting themselves ready. So Kate has to have her knee pads ready. She has to have her volleyball ready to go. She knows, and she can look at this calendar that we had this weekly kickstart notepad that I use, which she can see, okay, four o'clock on Tuesday, I gotta be ready for volleyball. She's responsible for herself, so I'm setting her up for success by having this meeting. And then in this meeting, we talk about, okay, you know, Jack, what do you have going on for school this week? Kate, what do you have going on for school? And you know, we all have times where things are a little bit crazier. So Jack just got finished with his play, and during that play you're gearing up for that he had play rehearsal every night until like 930 at night. So part of this team planning was okay. Jack has play rehearsal till 930 10 o'clock at night each night. What are we going to do to support him? All right, Jack, what are the chores you're going to need help with? Okay, Kate, what chores are you going to help Jack with? All right, I'm going to take this chore on. You know, John is going to take care of this chore. We're going to work together to support you so you can focus it on your play and your schoolwork. And then the next week, it might be that Kate has a volleyball tournament, and then we all kind of take turns. So there's this ebbing and flowing in this shifting of what we're doing to support each other every week. And that communication happens because we're meeting on a regular basis and talking realistically about what our week looks like, and that includes what my week looks like. This is a rough week where work. We've got a launch going on. The kids are going to step up. They're going to be in charge of preparing dinners. They're going to be in charge of making sure that rooms are clean without me even asking those kinds of things. You know during those weeks,

Casey O'Roarty 22:45
I love that. It reminds me in positive discipline, we call that family meetings, basically, what is what you just described? But I really appreciate the language around Okay, you've got this going on. How can we all support you? I think that that's so important. And just listening to you and what you do with your family really brings me back to, you know, starting at a young age is so key. And you know, results may vary. Um, because I started at a young age,

Tonya Dalton 23:19
yeah. And you

Casey O'Roarty 23:21
know, I know a lot of my listeners are, you know, parents of teenagers, and they're in the muck. You know, it's challenging. The teen years are hard, and there's so many different things that can show up and throw a wrench even in the most well. Before I go there, I also want to acknowledge that listening to you talk just about how you have invited your kids in to supporting you in your business. I don't know if you know this. I want to make sure that listeners are connecting these dots, but you know, something that is a cornerstone of positive discipline is human behavior is motivated by belonging and significance. You

Yeah, and when I hear you talking like about all of these things, including the team meeting, including inviting them in to support you and your business, I am just thinking about those buckets right, the belonging and the significant bucket is like overflowing and how we show up in the world, we meaning humans show up in the world so much better when we have that rock solid foundation. So I just want to acknowledge that in what you're sharing now, it's so you know, I know one of the things that you were talking about earlier was like goals being a destination and supporting ourselves on the journey to get there. It's so common for our teens, you know, as individuation, you know, kind of draws them in as a very development. Whole experience. One of the pieces of that is, well, I know it all right, right, oh, yeah. And when it comes it's so interesting in my own personal experience right now, there's so much resistance when it comes to goal setting and planning. So what tips do you have around communicating with teens, not just about setting and striving to meet their goals, but specifically when you know if listener, you know if somebody's listening, and they're like, Well, I didn't start this when my kids were young, and now I'm at this really discouraged place, and I want to create this team mentality, and I want to invite my kids and support them in future planning, and yet, they're bumping up against resistance,

Tonya Dalton 25:49
yeah, because actually, you know, a lot of that, that goal setting, and, you know, project planning, which basically that's what goal setting is, a lot of times for our teens is, is project planning for, you know, projects they have going on at school or for Boy Scouts, or, you know, the different things that they have going on. That's a really big part of what our team planning is, is sitting down and saying, what projects do you have going on? And then I don't tell them how they need to map it out. I don't sit down and say, Okay, well, you need to get this done by Tuesday, and this done by Thursday, and then next week you need to work on this. I have them choose how they're going to do it. I want them to test things out. I want them to try things out. I want them to test the boundaries of what they know. And they'll come up with an idea, and I'll say, okay, you know, I'm not sure if that's going to work or not, but let's, let's see. Let's test it out. And then part of what we do the following week is a reflection. How did that really work out for you? The way that you map that out, you know, instead of me saying we did that wrong or I don't like the way that you have this planned out, I give them a little bit of autonomy, which really is what teenagers are wanting. They want to have the room to stretch and grow, and they don't want to be told what to do all the time, even though sometimes you're like, you just really need to be told what

Casey O'Roarty 27:00
to do is just do what I say,

Tonya Dalton 27:01
right? But the thing is, is by allowing them to test these things out, and by allowing them to see their own strengths and their weaknesses, and giving them the grace to have that reflection over it and not tell them like I told you, that wasn't going to work, right, it really does allow them that ownership. Again, it comes back to that idea of letting them buy in and letting them have ownership and feel like they have some control over their lives. The truth is, that's what everybody is really looking for. They want to have a little bit of control. They want to feel like they have choices. And when we are continually making those choices for them, it's they feel like they don't have any control. And they'll take it where they can get it. They'll take it where they can get it. And the other thing is, we want to train our kids to be able to make the big choices when it matters, right? So allowing them some of that leeway to make the smaller choices gives them that confidence. It shows them the breadcrumbs of, you know what? I can make good choices. I've made good choices in the past. So when a big choice comes, whether that's drugs or alcohol or doing things that are not appropriate or right, all those things, they're able to make choices because they've already been conditioned to choose and to feel like they have ownership, and so they're not scrambling for control in other ways that are unhealthy,

Casey O'Roarty 28:15
right? And they still might make bad choices.

Tonya Dalton 28:19
We all make bad choices from time to time, right? Even us as parents, we all make bad choices, but it's a learning opportunity totally

Casey O'Roarty 28:25
and the what I'm hearing and like what I am present to that you're nurturing through all of this is some really deep connection and kids feeling really seen, so that when things do go sideways. We've got a situation where our kids are willing, more willing, I won't say are willing, but the likelihood, not always, the likelihood, that they'll come to us when, yes, get really real and really scary, you know, is just we're amplifying that. And I really appreciate that, and I love what you said about let's try it out. That's totally very positive discipline we talk about, let's try it for a week, like, literally, yeah, and we'll see how it goes and we reassess and reevaluate. And I think that I just want to drive this home for parents and myself, because we've definitely gotten off the routine of our weekly family meetings. And it's you, this is the perfect timing for this interview, because I'm making a declaration right now. It's coming back, and it's exactly what my family needs. But that weekly check in is so, so powerful, so so powerful.

Tonya Dalton 29:35
I really think it is. And this is a thing that to me, what good productivity does is it does allow us to deepen our relationships. It gives us that time and that space and creates those opportunities for us to deepen those relationships, to allow things to really run seamlessly, to build in some healthy habits for our kids that really allow them to live a life that's more intentional, where they are choosing these things. And I think that's truly one of. Things I love most about teaching people about productivity is that's at the heart of it. It really is about intentional living and and creating a life for you and your children that has meaning. Yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 30:10
love it. So you also talk about letting go of balance, yes, and I love this permission, by the way, why? Thank you this service and how do we navigate it without being in the massive swing of too much or too little when it comes to holding space for our family? Yes,

Tonya Dalton 30:31
I love this question because we are so often in this pursuit of balance. We hear it all the time like, oh, you need more balance. My balance is out of whack. We get so caught up in this idea of we need balance, but balance is a myth. First of all, it doesn't exist. And second of all, even if it did exist, we don't really want it. Truly. We don't want it. If all things in life were perfectly even, we wouldn't be moving in any true direction, no direction that we are actively choosing. And if you think about it in terms of like riding a bike, yes, you need perfect balance to ride a bike and go on the same old path you've been on right. But if you want to choose to turn left, you have to go out of perfect balance. You have to lean over to the left to turn. You can't stay, you know, leaned over too long, you'll fall down. You'll scrape your knee. You have to counterbalance and write yourself back up. If you want to turn right, you're going to lean over to the right, and then you have to counterbalance. And that's really what we want. We want to let go of this idea of balance, because to be able to grow into a priority, to really be able to lean into a goal, to be able to have like the growth that we want in certain areas, it means that area needs more time, more focus, more of our attention, right? It needs more of our energy, and that comes from somewhere else, so we have to lean into it now. We can't stay leaned for too long. We have to counterbalance. So maybe for our work goal, we're focused on work for, you know, one quarter of the year. So for a couple of months, we're focused on a work goal, and we're leaning a little more heavily in that we don't want to stay there. We want to counterbalance and then lean into some family time and really give that a bigger priority, a bigger chunk of our time, and then lean back, and it's this ebbing and flowing, this leaning and counterbalancing, and leaning and counterbalancing that's the harmony we want. Because truly, what life needs is flexibility. You know, you mentioned this earlier about that life is a it's a mess, right? I mean, that's just how life is. It's messy. There are times where it's great, there are times where it's terrible. There are times where things go smoothly and times where things go bumpy. And having harmony allows the grace, it allows the flexibility for real, true life to happen. Because there are times where things are out of our control, where things are happening with our kids, that we have to shift really quickly and lean into that priority. Because, oh my gosh, you're not turning in your homework for three months. What's been happening, or whatever it is, we need to lean into that and let go of the other things. And if we're so busy pursuing balance, it feels impossible, right? Well, I gotta give equal amount of times to work and to my family and to home and to all these things we have to let go of that. It's okay to lean. Let's lean and count about and let

Casey O'Roarty 33:10
me tell you I wish three months of no homework was the biggest challenge that I was dealing with right now. I take that any day. Tell me, Tanya, what's your podcast about?

Tonya Dalton 33:21
So my podcast is productivity paradox, and they're designed to be really every season we have a theme. So right now, the theme of the season is the joy of missing out, and I'm doing it like a call in style this season. So I like to change things up where I'm talking to real women, and actually, these past couple weeks, we've been talking about delegating with your kids and building that team mentality with your family and things like that. And then, you know, I've had seasons on systems, so really, it's all designed to work together. I think of it. I used to be a teacher, so I think of my podcast seasons like curriculum, just like you would if you were taking a course. So we start at the beginning with kind of some of the stumbling blocks and the things that we're struggling with, and throughout the course of the 13 episodes, we get to an end point where it's like, oh, this is how I can take back my Friday, or this is how I can choose how I spend my weekends, or this is how I can do whatever it is I'm wanting to do. And so I love doing the podcast. It's a great opportunity for me to really pour myself into my listeners and help them really achieve that best life that we're all looking for. Love it.

Casey O'Roarty 34:20
Are you a coach too? Do you work one on one with clients?

Tonya Dalton 34:23
I don't work one on one. I have in the past, but I do courses now, so I do kind of group coaching more than just individual one on one coaching.

Casey O'Roarty 34:30
Awesome. Well, I have one last question, and it's the one that I always end with. So in the context of productivity and team mentality and all that we've spoken about today. What does joyful courage mean to you?

Tonya Dalton 34:46
I love this question because I think joyful courage, to me really means the ability to stand up, to feel confident in your choices and to live the life you really want. Because here's the truth you know, living a life that's in. On your priorities, and letting your priorities sit front and center every day is a choice, and it's not always an easy choice, because people will question it. People will pull you in different directions, wanting you to say yes to things when really you should be saying no. And so really joyful courage is standing tall and standing true to what is most important to you

Casey O'Roarty 35:18
that makes me I'm like sitting up really tall right now, Tanya, thanks, beautiful. Where can listeners find you and follow your work?

Tonya Dalton 35:28
Yeah, so you can find me at Tanya dalton.com so that's Tanya with an O and a y. You can find links to my podcast there. You can also find links to my book The joy of missing out, as well as the products that I offer, you know, like the team planning that I do with my family, I use a weekly kickstart notepad that I offer. So all of that is available there at Tanya dalton.com Yay. Thank

Casey O'Roarty 35:50
you so much for coming on.

Tonya Dalton 35:52
Well, thanks so much for having me.

Casey O'Roarty 35:57
Thank you again for listening. I so appreciate you and all the feedback you provide me about how the show is landing for you. Of course, I would be honored for you to take advantage of some of my paid offers, including the mentioned holiday sale, but also coaching or joining the Patreon community. But also it matters so much when you simply leave reviews on Apple podcasts or wherever you are listening to the show, as more and more people search for shows that are meaningful to them, your reviews will get this show in front of new listeners, and I would deeply, deeply appreciate that, all right, friend, have a beautiful, beautiful Day as always, you can reach out to me with questions or feedback. [email protected] I so so value everything you share with me and just looking forward to connecting. Have a beautiful day.

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