Jessica Prentice talks about her children’s book – The Duck With No Legs

Subscribe to the Podcast

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Joy, joyful courage. Parenting podcast episode 20 you.

Hey friends, welcome back Casey here. I hope that you all had a fabulous holiday weekend with your family if you're here in the States. We celebrated Thanksgiving and ate a lot of Turkey and other yummy food. What a great time I got to have with friends and family, and it was loads of fun. So I am going to share a little bit about the subscribe a thon results and some tweaks and changes I'm going to make to it based on numbers and participation, but I'm going to talk about that after the podcast, so after the interview. So if you're interested in that, please listen at the very end, and I'll talk about the subscribe a THON. But this week, what's been on my mind is, you know, I consider myself a pretty progressive parent. I'm up here in the Pacific Northwest, outside of Seattle, and you know, we just can't dictate who our kids are. And I really embrace that, and I really mean it when I tell them that I'm gonna love them no matter what, no matter what they choose, whoever they choose to be. And my guest this week is an old, old friend of mine who has written a children's book that really gets into what it's like to be different, and, you know, a perspective around that. She wrote a book called The duck with no legs, and we're going to talk about her process and the deeper meanings that go along with the book, so I'm really excited to talk to her. Jessica Prentice is her name, and she's super fabulous. She was actually her sister. Was my very best friend growing up, my first best friend, and Jessica was my little brother's very best friend, so we spent a lot of time together, and it's really, really fun checking in with her and hearing what she's up to, and just getting a glimpse into her creative nature and into this book that she's written for kids. And I just know that you're gonna love the conversation as much as I did, so I'm not going to keep you. We're going to get right into it. Let's meet Jessica.

Hi Jessica. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast.

Jessica Prentice 2:54
Thanks case. Thanks for having me

Casey O'Roarty 2:56
My pleasure. So tell the listeners a little bit about yourself. Who are you? Oh,

Jessica Prentice 3:02
I'm Jessica Prentice in real life, I am a creative director for communications technology company. Just super fun. Love my job. Ultimately, I do design and advertising and so, you know, it's a creative job which suits my soul. But you know, they pay me, so I'm like an artist with a paycheck. All right, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 3:27
you made a radical logo for me. Thank you very much. Props for that.

Jessica Prentice 3:32
I love it. I'm glad you love it. I do. It's gonna take you places. Just that logo.

Casey O'Roarty 3:37
I'm hoping, I'm hoping it's the level up that I needed to go big. You're

Jessica Prentice 3:41
going pro.

Casey O'Roarty 3:42
Thank you.

Jessica Prentice 3:45
Yeah, I live in, live in Carlsbad, California. I like to surf. I like to play the guitar, the ukulele. It's my newest instrument. And, yeah, I mean, I don't know. I'm into, I'm into discovering things and truths and various spiritualities and yoga and CrossFit, and just like digging up digging up stuff underneath the darkness. Oh,

Casey O'Roarty 4:11
nice. You are speaking my language. Tell us about the duck with no legs.

Jessica Prentice 4:18
Duck with no legs actually came about from a high school project way, way back when. Yeah, and yeah, it was an assignment in the creative writing class, and I was so annoyed by this, what felt like an overwhelming project, that I just decided I was going to write an offensive book so and piss the teacher off.

Unknown Speaker 4:41
So typical.

Jessica Prentice 4:42
I know. I love you, Jess and so. And in this, she had this, she was like, whoever wins the contest? Like, we're gonna have a whole contest. I'll send it and try to get it published. And so I, you know, I just wanted to turn in the big middle finger assignment, but it actually turned out to be super cute. It's a.

Are the duck with no legs. But, I mean, when I look at it, it's, it's an autobiography by it's on the nail. Is on the hammer's on the head. Well, you know, we grew up together. We knew each other as kids. And I was always major, major tomboy. I mean, I wanted to just dress like a boy. I want to do boy things. I didn't really see it as, like, boy, girl, necessarily, because as a kid, you just, I just wanted slip on vans and I wanted to run around and get the dirt. I didn't want to do what the girls were doing. And I stood out. And I stood out. I mean, people thought I was a boy out to dinner with my parents. What would your son like? It's like, oh, my son will have the pancake. My mom would just look at me like, how could you do this to me and yourself? And so it was a struggle with my outer appearance, yeah, my whole life. But you know, overall, the world was fairly kind to me. I felt I felt almost more torn with my family and feeling like, if I did this, I'll disappoint them. If I, if I wear these shorts and do these things, I'll embarrass my family. It wasn't so much it hurt my feelings. It was, it was that I was afraid to disappoint everyone around me, and then now I'm in a same sex relationship, and you know, clearly sure my parents saw that coming a mile away. Nonetheless, we

Casey O'Roarty 11:22
all saw it coming. Girl exactly,

Jessica Prentice 11:26
but nonetheless, it's still like, here I am. My now, my parents have to tell their friends. Now I'm putting my parents into this, and I think it's just me letting go, letting letting life be what it was meant to be. And just, I had to quit the fight. I just had to quit the fight. And really, with that comes this rushing impact of freedom and love and like, just the ability to to make decisions without overthinking it. Finally, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 11:58
yeah. Oh, I think that's really hard to I mean, because I relate to that whole not wanting to disappoint the family. Like, I mean, my whole family's in Southern California, and I'm way up here. So for the most part, I can pretend I don't have to worry so much about, like, what are they gonna say or do or whatever? But I think about, Okay, I'm gonna be home in April, and I got this new tattoo, which my dad and Julie, if you're listening, I did get a tattoo, and we're gonna have to talk about it. Don't judge me. And you know it's I'm 42 years old, but I have to to it's becoming ever more clear to me that, like their response to my life is not my responsibility, right? And that's it's hard, and like you said, it's so freeing. And then on the flip side of that, we were talking before I hit record about my own experience with parenting, and I've got these two extremes, you know? I've got a daughter who's very much wanting, like, the latest stuff, right? Like, she just wants to look like all the other girls. There's not really any wild, non conforming hair yet, right? Who knows what's in the future. And then I have this, my son, who is like, has his own thing going on, whether it's his muscle tees that he likes to wear over his hooded sweatshirts. I don't know what that's about, but it's a look that he rocks, or his, you know, socks pulled up way over his knees, which apparently is a thing I don't really see a lot of kids wearing that, you know, or getting his ears pierced. You know, he's continuously and I think like, Oh, I'm so progressive minded, and I'm fully accepting and will love my kids no matter what. And then I'm, you know, and then it's like, Okay, time to walk the talk. And you're confronted by like, okay, Rowan had to wait till she was 10 to get her ears pierced. So can I get my ears pierced on my birthday? And that, you know, there was really no other response other than, of course, even though, like, inside my body there was this cringe, there was this oh gosh, like, what are the kids on the bus gonna say? What are the what are dad and Julie gonna say? What are, you know, I had all of this like, and it like you said, it's like, it's such a crazy trip for parents, because we want them to be able to express themselves. I do absolutely, wholeheartedly, and we want to protect them. And that's the biggest that's the biggest piece. But the really cool thing that's come out of it is, you know, there he did get some flack from one kid in particular who kind of gives him flack all the time. He's a year older than Ian, but he's about, you know, a foot and a half shorter, and Ian's really tall for his age and and he's really agile, and he's smart and he's easy to get along with. He's not really. Stream. And so he's kind of a target for older, smaller boys, a little bit this one in particular. And he was worried, you know, he was like, Well, what if he says something about my earrings? And I was like, Well, you know, this is kind of one of those things where you get, you know, you're, you're going to be continuously thinking, like, how is the world going to respond to me, and sometimes that question is going to lead you to make a different choice, and sometimes that question is going to leave you to lead you to who cares. This is who I am, and you're the only one that gets to decide what direction you want to go. And and knowing that you're you might stir up some reaction. The most important thing is, how are you going to respond to that? And so he's so great because he we practice come back. You

Jessica Prentice 15:46
literally said that to him, yeah. Oh. And so, how did he respond? He

Casey O'Roarty 15:50
just kind of looked at me, but he's my kid. He's taking it in, yeah? He's taking it in. And I said, you know, do you want to practice some things that you could say in response so that you're ready? Oh, that's awesome, yeah. And he's like, yeah. And so, you know, his ideas at first were kind of hurtful back, you know, which is very typical, like, I insult you. You insult me a little bit worse that I'm gonna, you know? And I said, Yeah. And that's exactly what I said to him. I said, you know, sometimes when we respond that way, it doesn't make the problem go away, right? It just kind of makes the problem get worse, I said. And so he thought about something that this other kid does that isn't, isn't on the mainstream norm, like an activity that he does. And so Ian said, you know, this is what you do, and I think that's kind of weird, but I'm not going to make fun of you about it, because we're all allowed to do what we want to do.

Jessica Prentice 16:44
Dude, that's genius, yeah?

Casey O'Roarty 16:46
And it, and it has totally changed the dynamics between him and this kid. I mean, they're not best friends, yeah? But it's the and I think more than anything, it kind of made Ian real, like, it helped him settle into that body of, like, dude, I'm a human. You're a human. Like, we don't need to be assholes to each other totally, you know? And I think that that's so if we can teach our kids that, like, yes, acceptance. I hate the word tolerance. I like the word acceptance, how to get along, but even more so how to be able to call each other out in a way that's like human beings. This isn't how we treat each other like. That's a much better call out than, well, you're stupid, right? You know you have

Jessica Prentice 17:33
to prepare your kids with, well, I don't have kids, but I have. I've had to prepare myself with my own toolbox. Yeah, you know, little things that are you've got them ready that you can just pull from when you your adrenaline's pumping and your head is racing and you just go, Oh, I remember this one line, and it can solve anything, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 17:53
well, and it's just, it's such a great opportunity. I'm so glad that I have a kid that gets to make me think about how to help him respond in those situations. And, you know? And it's not always spot on, right? Because sometimes emotions take over, and sometimes we meet people where they're at and when they're not coming from a great place, you know, we meet them there, and it just gets ugly. But he's been, he's always been my kid who's willing to, you know, when it comes to a sticky situation, it's like, Well, let's think of what you could say, let's practice. And

Jessica Prentice 18:29
he gets, oh yeah, with that, where some kids would be like, that's stupid stuff.

Casey O'Roarty 18:34
So it's so not stupid. It's so helpful. But we've been doing it for since the beginning, like, that's just been, that's our normal, you know, do you want to practice? Is just like common language in our house, with him, with him,

Jessica Prentice 18:49
I love hats. Well,

Casey O'Roarty 18:50
yeah, he's, he is, I think he might be a duck with no legs too. He really likes, there's a picture, there's a page, when he after the deck with no legs, um, meets, sees that the other deck with no legs. Sorry, spoiler alert, um, there's this picture of him. Can she see my feathers are shiny, that my bill is rugged and strong? Does she know that I'm warm, kind and I'm caring or or that I've had no legs all along? Oh, no, I read that wrong. Or think I've had legs all along. And then it's the duck kind of picturing himself how he wants to be seen.

Unknown Speaker 19:30
Superhero.

Casey O'Roarty 19:33
So funny. And I think that, you know, we have that in our mind, like, Who do we how do we want to be seen, versus who we are? And I just, I love this book. Jess, yeah,

Jessica Prentice 19:43
thank you, yeah. But I do think we like even though I felt I knew I was different. I knew people saw me as different. I knew that I looked like a boy, and it weirded people out, because they were like, I don't know it was the 80s, you know, like I was a pine. Pioneer,

Casey O'Roarty 20:00
total pioneer tomboy.

Jessica Prentice 20:04
But on the inside, I felt like I knew a secret. I felt like I knew I was really great, and I just knew that someday it wouldn't all that outside stuff wouldn't matter. And I just like, like the superhero inside the duck's mind. Like that's I think we all have that story of ourselves, and then we have the other story, which is what we think the world sees about us. That's

Casey O'Roarty 20:29
very true, well, and it's interesting to talk to you about this, because, you know, you were always so big, so outgoing, so funny. I wonder a little bit if your humor was a defense mechanism. I don't think it was. I mean, I don't know, because you always just seemed so completely comfortable with exactly who you were, and that was so cool.

Jessica Prentice 20:55
I think I was, I think I think I was when I was not in a dress. I mean, for whatever reason that really put it really made me feel stopped and like I was faking it. And to this day, I almost feel like a transvestite if I'm in like some pumps, and I feel like a just total fake job and and so I but I think my humor, it's just sort of in me, but it definitely helped lightly load, I think, and put people at ease. You know, it served me, that's for sure. Still, I'm the life of the party.

Casey O'Roarty 21:31
That's why we get along so well. Girl, I want to be at a party with you soon. So what my last question? My last planned question, anyway. So what kinds of conversations do you hope? And I know you wrote this when you were in high school, so I'm sure you weren't like thinking ahead to, you know, parents and parents reading this to their kids, but what maybe you were, because you're just that evolved. What kinds of conversations do you hope are happening between parents and kids when they read this story together?

Jessica Prentice 22:05
Um, you know, it's funny. I don't have kids, but I have imaginary conversations with my kids all the time because of all the things that I've learned through reading books and just traveling and going and just digging deep and facing the world and and finding kindness and softening my edges and all those things. And it's like, how would I talk to my kid about XYZ? So I think about that stuff all. I probably have four conversations a day with kids that don't exist yet. And so, you know, I think it's like this book, like we've talked about, does have so many layers. We can be as simple as, see this stuck with no legs. Look at like how wonderful his life was. And look at, you know, or it could, they could relate it to back to their religion. They could relate it back to their veganism. They could relate it back to whatever it is that their belief system is and say, See, you know, ultimately we are all the same on the inside. You know, it just appears different on the outside. But ultimately we're all connected. We all live on this beautiful earth together, and we have a, we have an obligation to be our truest, kindest selves.

Casey O'Roarty 23:17
Oh, gosh.

Jessica Prentice 23:18
So there's a little snippet.

Casey O'Roarty 23:19
Nice sound bite, um, yeah. I especially today, right, with all the craziness happening in the world, you know, to remember that ultimately, inside everybody is a soul,

Jessica Prentice 23:32
absolutely, that came here to contribute to the the

Unknown Speaker 23:37
whole, yeah, definitely, sure,

Jessica Prentice 23:40
I love that that's what gets us. That's personally, what gets me out of bed. I only see through the eyes of like, that spirituality I've discovered, like the the surface stuff is like a screen that is so transparent to me. Now I love that, you know, I feel a lot of love in my heart on a daily basis. So I, you know, I just feel lit up about that.

Casey O'Roarty 24:02
Yeah, I love that, too. And it's funny how it shows up. It's so simple the way that it shows up. And, you know, and even, like, driving in my car and somebody cuts me off, and, you know, it can be really easy to be like, what about you? Like, you suck. And what's your deal, and and, you know, but then it's like, gosh, I love to think about

they have no respect when I'm recording a podcast. Sorry about the background noise listeners. It's life. They, who knows what kind of day they had, and I find myself speaking out that, out loud, when, whenever I can, in front of the kids, like even I just yesterday, recorded an interview with a colleague about how to talk to kids. About terrorism and the things that are happening in the world, and even at that level, the conversation I had with my daughter was, you know, I just can't imagine the pain that existed in the lives of the people who get to a place where they decide they're going to blow themselves up, you know, like I can't, I can't hate them, because all I can do is just feel the sadness for them, because life must be pretty freaking awful to get to a point where you're willing to to do that to yourself and to do that to other people. And so, yeah, I think that there's a place of empathy that grows when you can start to see into and the Buddhist in Buddhism, they call it the Buddha nature, and that everybody has a Buddha nature. And you know, it's just our experiences, our relationships, all this stuff, kind of layers on top of our true being. This is like the world, according to Casey, the spiritual world, according to me, that I've pieced together. But, you know, we like all this stuff kind of gets in the way of our light, and the more we can kind of we, you know, navigate through that and learning, like you said, just continue to grow, the closer we get back to that true self. And I think that when we can get to our true selves, it's so much easier to see the light in other people, or at least, like, see the pain, right, rather than just absolutely, you know, that jerk just cut me off, or that checker was a grouch, or whatever, you know, Yeah, whoa, who knew the conversation was going to go here. Aren't we hurting so deep? Oh my gosh. Well, where can, how can people follow you, Jess, and find your book? It's on Amazon. Do you have a website? Yeah, they need a website. Graphic Design artists. I

Jessica Prentice 26:49
mean, I have a website, but it's just for my graphic design so, I mean, it's silly bird.com you can, yeah, you can reach out to me through that, um, that website. But, you know, really, it doesn't the books. I don't even think the books out there, Amazon. I mean, I do Instagram, but it's just like a personal Instagram account that no one's gonna follow.

Casey O'Roarty 27:12
What about dear Monday? What happened to Dear Monday? Does that still live on or no, you

Jessica Prentice 27:17
know what's dear Monday? I love my job, so Monday doesn't feel so sad. I actually did a throwback Thursday Instagram post once, I think, with a dear Monday on it, pretty sure it was a throwback Monday. But, well,

Casey O'Roarty 27:33
I have to tell everybody the dear Monday posts. When? What? When were you doing? When were you active with that a few years ago? Or was it a long time ago?

Jessica Prentice 27:41
And I think it was like 2010

Casey O'Roarty 27:45
oh my gosh, every Monday, you you could have been a stand up. You know that, right? You could have gone that route because you're I hated

Jessica Prentice 27:54
that job so much that I would write a letter to Monday every Monday, and they were dark. They were dark. Sometimes people would post responses saying, oh, and I was like, Oh, really, you don't feel this

Casey O'Roarty 28:13
way. Well, Jessica, thank you so much for spending time with me this morning. I love you. I know it's easy, right? Piece of cake. So listeners, you're gonna take a look at the show notes and see links to the book and links to Jessica. Don't forget to leave some feedback and let me know what you thought. And iTunes reviews are always appreciated, especially when you love the show. Dear Monday. I don't know this might come out on a Monday. So dear Monday, don't suck. Love Casey, all right. Jess, I'll talk to you soon.

Jessica Prentice 28:49
Bye,

Casey O'Roarty 28:55
okay. Listeners, what'd you think about that isn't Jessica so great. It was such a treat growing up with that girl. Oh my gosh, she was hilarious. She is hilarious. I'm so grateful to still be in relationship with her. Um, so yay. Thanks for listening. I just want to give you a little update on the subscribe a thon that I've been talking about for the last few weeks, and Thanksgiving weekend has come and gone, and I had a really limited number of people participate. So I am going to extend the subscribe a THON, which means you will have all the way until december 24 to subscribe to the podcast. I am going to throw out little Subscribe shot shows over the next couple weeks, and what that means is they will be shows that are only going to show up on the subscriber feed. So you will have to be subscribed to the podcast. To hear those shows. Subscribing to the podcast is really easy. You just go to iTunes and you search for the joyful courage parenting podcast. You need a podcasting app. A lot of newer iPhones already have the podcast app, but I'm going to post directions about that on my website, so that it's easy for you, and there'll be directions for that in the show notes going forward. So yeah, I'm gonna extend the subscribe a THON. It will go through the month of December and and I'm going to pull winners on december 24 so you have to be subscribed to win. If you're already subscribed, you absolutely get to participate in this contest. I put some you'll find. If you go back into the feed and listen to the Thanksgiving show, you will see it. It's between Episode 19 and 20. If you listen to that show, there's really explicit directions about what you need to do to qualify for the prizes. And the prizes are really cool you guys. One super awesome baseball tees with the joyful courage logo. Two, super ba trucker hats, if you're that kind of person, with the joyful courage podcast logo, three, I'm giving away two diff two centered parenting e courses, which is a five week e course that is on demand, downloadable, and it includes videos and audio meditations and workbooks to really help you help yourself in transforming your parenting and your relationships with your kids. And the grand prize is a three month coaching package. Hello. I am stoked about that one. I hope that you are too. So again, listen to the Thanksgiving show. I'm gonna do a couple more little subscriber promo. Subscribe on promos in the next couple weeks and go over what you need to do. So there you go. I also have some ideas about the podcast. Here's what I want you to do. You that are listening you there, if you are on Facebook, I want you to search for live and love with joyful courage on Facebook. Okay, you will see that it'll take you to the group that is called live and love with joyful courage. And I want you to ask to join by hitting the join button. I will see it. I will say, accept, and you can be in on the conversation. And this is really a place of developing community. It's like minded parents. It's people that like to listen to the podcast. I post questions there, I instigate conversation. I ask for help too, because I'm continuously developing products, products like E courses, right and and podcasts, and I really want to make sure that what I'm putting out in the world is what you want to hear, is what you want to learn. And so my go to place is the live in love with joyful courage group. That's where I go to find out what it is that you want. It's a place for you to ask questions. I get emails all the time, emails from people who are struggling and have challenges with their kids. And I always, I'm always happy to respond to those emails, and I always say, you know, are you in the love and live in love with joyful courage group, because it's a great place to ask for support. Yes, I have extensive knowledge in positive discipline, and this is what I do all the time, is talk and train and educate about parenting. And there's a whole community of people there, and all of our collective knowledge together really makes for a rich and dynamic conversation. So if you don't do anything else today, I at least want you to join the live in love with joyful courage page, it is there in existence for you. I'm really excited about that. So thank you again for tuning in, for listening to the show. Don't forget to subscribe to the joyful courage parenting podcast through iTunes. And yeah, start getting it automatically to your iPad, to your iPhone, to your phone, whatever your devices that you love to use and listen through. It's really convenient because then you don't have to search or wait to see, you know, a social media post about a new podcast. It just comes magically to your device. Super magic, super awesome. So anyway, love to each and every one of you. I hope you had a great. Long weekend with your family, great Thanksgiving. Oh, I also wanted to say sorry about the weird audio in the last two episodes. I'm getting that worked out. So if you're thinking to yourself, like, Man, this sounds kind of like she's doing it in the garage, I'm working it out. So don't worry, the audio is going to get better. All right, love, love, love to all of you on the parenting journey, on the journey of life. Big, huge love, and I will see you next time

See more