Eps 191: Back to the Basics of Positive Discipline

Join the Joyful Courage Tribe in our community Facebook group – Live and Love with Joyful Courage.  Raising our children while growing ourselves…

::::

Hey friends! 

Can’t believe that it is nearly halfway through June!

–       Book launch – IG Giveaway

–       JCA Teens program

–       NASAP and TP

–       Looking ahead at the summer

–       Planning for next fall

o   More JCA Teens

o   Possible JCA Tweens/Preteens

o   Live workshops/classes

Today I want to get back to basics.

I am a Positive Discipline Trainer. My recent time in Tucson at NASAP and co-facilitating the TP has brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline…. I am also finding myself on exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work and looking for resources to share what the philosophy of PD is all about, with the Joyful Courage spin, or course.


bebravepic.jpg

So, I decided I would do a show about it. I am excited to share, and if you are someone who feels like you know all about PD, I invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder – to catch yourself when you think “I know all of this” and shift into “what is here for me to learn?”

 Because that is one of my favorite things about this work – there are so many layers. Right when I think “oh yeah, NOW I get it” life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking (because it is so darn familiar) and I realize, yet again, that there is more to learn….

Excited? Me too.

A lot of people hear the words, Positive Discipline and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids. Or they get really stuck on the word “positive “ and think it is all about being permissive and letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that PD parents don’t ever want their kids to feel bad, and perhaps lump PD with helicoptering, coddling or enabling our kids.

 This is totally NOT what PD is all about. To start, one thing I really appreciate about Positive Discipline is that it is a program that has it’s roots in Adlerian Psychology. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families and found, time and time again, that human behavior was motivated by a sense of belonging and significance. He found that we are always moving towards, or moving from, our sense of connection and knowing that we matter.  And when behavior starts to look like mischief, it can be linked back to the individuals perception of belonging and significance. Jane Nelsen, the author and co-author of the library of Positive Discipline books, talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility.

 

–       Kind and firm

–       Belonging and significance

–       Mutual respect/dignity for all

–       Encouragement

–       Social interest

–       Take time for training

–       The courage to be imperfect/mistakes as opportunities to learn

–       We always have a choice

:::::

Joyful Courage: Calming the drama and taking control of your parenting journey

 This book is all about how to show up as a Joyful Courage parent so that you have better access to the tools you need in hot parenting moments – tools that are helpful and maintain connection with your child.

 THE BOOK IS READY FOR YOU TO BUY– Go to www.joyfulcourage.com/book

The best way to stay up to date on the book news is to join my newsletter list, if you haven’t already.  Sign up at www.https://besproutable.us13.list-manage.com/subscribe?u=5e11377e68a482c341b78ff6d&id=d25c237449

 Thank you to everyone that has been so encouraging on this journey!!!  I appreciate you!!!!

:::::

Be a Subscriber

Make sure to SUBSCRIBE to the Joyful Courage Podcast on Apple Podcast to get the latest shows STRAIGHT to your device!!  AND PLEASE rate and review the Joyful Courage Parenting Podcast to help me spread the show to an ever-larger audience!!

CLICK HERE to watch a video that shows up how to subscribe with your iPhone!

 

Community is everything!

Join our community Facebook groups:

Takeaways from the show

We are here for you

Join the email list

Join our email list! Joyful Courage is so much more than a podcast! Joyful Courage is the adolescent brand here at Sproutable. We bring support and community to parents of tweens and teens. Not a parent of a teen or tween? No worries, click on the button to sign up to the email list specifically cultivated for you: Preschool, school-aged, nannies, and teachers. We are here for everyone who loves and cares for children.

I'm in!

Classes & coaching

I know that you love listening every week AND I want to encourage you to dig deeper into the learning with me, INVEST in your parenting journey. Casey O'Roarty, the Joyful Courage podcast host, offers classes and private coaching. See our current offerings.

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:04
Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place for inspiration and information on the parenting journey. I'm your host, Casey o'rourdy, positive discipline trainer, parent coach and mom of two teenagers of my own. I am honored to be a guide and a fellow traveler on the path of more connected and thoughtful parenting. Also wanting to remind you, you listeners, that come June 25 we will begin the 2019 summer series here on the podcast, a best of compilation of shows that focus on the tween and teen years. As a parent of teens myself, I am on a mission to fill what feels like a gap in the information for those of us who want to maintain a kind and firm relationship based style of parenting as our kids go through their own developmental era of pulling away and figuring out who they are. So this summer, while I take a break to prep a fantastic fall for all of you, you will get to revisit some of my favorite conversations about what is turning out to be the most challenging and most fun season of parenting yet. So excited, and please don't forget, if you love what you're hearing here, jump on over to iTunes and leave a review. This is how more people discover the show, and how we can work together to create a more connected and loving world, one family at a time, and now enjoy the episode.

Hey, friends, Hi, I'm back in the closet for a solo episode for you. I can't believe that we are nearly halfway through June. So crazy. How does that happen? I mean, I know how it happens. Okay, you smart asses out there who want to be like, yeah, one day at a time, I know how it happens, but it is. It's surprising, right? It's surprising sometimes in the, you know, spin out of the spring and we're looking ahead to the end of the school year and then finding yourself at the end of the school year, I don't know time is moving really fast. I had the book launch party a couple weeks ago. So great. So much fun. So honored to get to meet people that I haven't met before that follow my work, plus family and friends that showed up. So, so great. Big shout out to third place books and Lake Forest Park for hosting last weekend. Did you get in on the Instagram giveaway? So if you don't follow me on Instagram, do it. Do it right now. Jump into Instagram. Look for joyful. Underscore, courage and follow me, because I'm going to be doing giveaways pretty regularly as I continue to promote the book, and I have these cute little joyful courage mugs that say joyful courage, just like on the front cover of the book, and on the back side of the mug, it says breath, body balcony. And for those of you that have read the book, you know what that's all about. And for those of you that haven't read the book, get on it, head to Amazon, head to barnesandnoble.com or just go to my website, joyful courage.com and slash book, or click on book in the navigation and you'll find it so great. I also just wrapped up the joyful courage Academy parenting teens program with another amazing group of parents of teenagers. And I'm so just honored, really honored and grateful that I get to be in relationship with others that are on the teen journey, parenting teen journey, and supporting them and myself and all the things that show up with that journey. We do some mindset shifting and prompt some conversation and practice some tools, really, really powerful. Grateful that I get to do that. I'll be doing that again in October. So if you're interested in doing the academy program, I'm doing it in October, and so I'm also thinking pretty strongly about doing an academy program for parents of tweens and preteens. So like that 10 to 13 age group, and I'm thinking about doing that in September, so stay tuned. I'll let you know if that's a done deal. As of this recording, I just got home from Tucson, bear down. I went to college there, and I was there for a conference, and I covid. Facilitated a teaching parenting workshop with my colleague, Dodi Blomberg, who's amazing, and it was really fun, because I got to really dive into the principles behind positive discipline, and that's what's prompting the topic for this show. So really exciting. We're going to get back to basics today, just like I mentioned in the intro, this summer, I'm going to be rolling out some podcast episodes that are some of my favorites that focus on the tween and teen years. So that's exciting. Please continue to listen through the summer. And, yeah, that's pretty much it. We're moving. Oh my gosh. We got the house in Bellingham. My family's moving to Bellingham the end of the month, feeling really excited about that, really in the transition, you know, and noticing when the overwhelm shows up, and the like, oh my gosh, there's so much to do shows up, and grounding myself coming back to a place of and everything's figureoutable, and there's plenty of time and moving from that place. Because I don't know about you, but when my stress level goes up, my ability to be in relationship in a respectful way with my kids goes down. So I really get to recognize stress in my life and take care of myself and really nurture my mindset so that I'm coming from a place of curiosity and love and connection with my kids, instead of that frantic, urgent, oh my gosh, there's so much going on. Why can't you just do what I told you to do? Or sometimes it's even, why can't you just read my mind? Not a useful come from right? Okay, so today I want to get back to basics. Today, I'm getting back to the basics. I am a positive discipline trainer, right? And my recent time in Tucson at the conference I went to and in CO facilitating the teaching parenting workshop, it really brought me back to the building blocks of positive discipline. Also, I'm finding myself on some exploratory calls with new clients who are eager to do one on one work with me, and are looking for resources to share what the philosophy of positive discipline is all about, what the joyful courage spin is and all that stuff. They want to be able to share it with their partners. They want to be able to share it with family members. And so I decided I was going to do a show about it, both as a resource, as something I can say, oh, here, just listen to this podcast. But also because, you know, it's, I just think it's exciting. It's exciting to look at, come back to the principles, right? I'm excited to share. And if you're someone, if you're listening, and you're someone who feels like you know all there is to know about positive discipline, and you're thinking, is this podcast episode for me, I'm going to invite you to listen from a place of curiosity and wonder, to catch yourself when you're thinking, Oh, I know all of this, and shift into what else is here for me to learn, right? Because one of my favorite things about this work is that there are so many layers, right when I think, oh, yeah, now I get it. Life throws me something new, or my kids step into a new place of development, or I just simply find myself back in my old ways of thinking because it's so darn familiar, and I realize yet again, that there is more to learn, there's more layers to peel back, there's more curiosity to take in, and that makes me really excited, and I hope it's exciting to you too. So a lot of people hear the words positive and discipline together and assume that it is all about being nice while we dole out consequences to our kids, or they get really stuck on the word positive and think that it's all about being permissive or letting our kids run the show. Some people mistakenly believe that positive discipline parents don't ever want their kids to feel bad, or perhaps lump positive discipline in with helicoptering or coddling or enabling our kids. This is totally not what positive discipline is all about, and I know if you're listening, you're curious and open to learning more. So to start one thing, I. Really appreciate about positive discipline, like capital P, positive capital D discipline is that it is a program that has its roots in Adlerian psychology, right? So, there's, there's, there's psychology, there's science, there's there's some foundation to this program, which I really appreciate. Alfred Adler was one of the first social psychologists. He worked with individuals and families, and found that time and time again, human behavior was motivated by an individual's sense of their own belonging and their own significance, he found that we were always moving towards that's that, that that desire, that sense, that need of connection and knowing that we matter. And when behavior starts to look like mischief or or misbehavior. It can be linked back to the individual's perception of belonging and significance.

And Jane Nelson, who I had the lucky opportunity to hang out with last weekend in Tucson, she's the author and co author of The Library of positive discipline books, she talks about belonging and significance as our longing for love and responsibility, right? So that's the first piece that I want to start with. Like, this isn't just somebody. This isn't just me saying, like, oh, just be nice to your kids and hold boundaries and good luck with that. You know, there's science behind this, there's, there's research and there's,

See more