Eps 187: Solo show about the law of attraction and parenting

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:04
Hey, what is up podcast, listeners, I am so glad that you have found yourself at the joyful courage podcast. This is a place where we celebrate real and raw conversations about raising kids with conscious parenting and positive discipline. I'm your host. Casey o'rourdy, I'm a facilitator. I'm a parent coach. Most importantly, I am a mom of two teenagers, and I am walking the path of more mindful, intentional parenting right alongside of you. Please know that this podcast is created for you. I create it for you and for our community. And if you love it, feel free to share it with all of your family and friends over social media. Let's spread the word. Let's get as many people as possible listening to this show. Please write a review on Apple's podcast, formerly known as iTunes, and join the Patreon community, where parents, just like you are contributing just a small little amount each month to the show and enjoying perks like monthly webinars and community conversations about the content you hear on this podcast. Check the show notes for links and more details on all of that. I am so, so grateful that you are here and now enjoy the show. Hey, podcast listeners, welcome. Welcome to Episode 187 solo show you get me this week, just me and it's crazy to say Episode 187 I've been doing this for four years. You guys, four years of podcasting. It's been so great, so wonderful. I love to think of all of you that have been listening since the beginning. I love thinking about all of you that are just starting to tune in and super excited. I recently found a new podcast that I love, and they've got so many episodes, and I just love that feeling of oh my gosh, so much to listen to. So yeah, and it's been really cool because the book launch has me on other people's podcasts. So as you know, and I mentioned, I was interviewed by Debbie Reber from tilt parenting. I was featured on Anna sewald show, the authentic parenting podcast the other day, yesterday, I think it was I got to be interviewed by the host of the mindful mama podcast, and I have interviews booked with spond. I don't know if you listen to that show, but it's just another great podcast that focuses on the mom experience. So it's pretty rad. It's so much fun to be in the other seat and to get to be interviewed. I am having the best time. And if you know of shows that you would love for me to be a guest on, reach out to those shows. Let them know about me, or reach out to me and say you should check out this show or that show, because that's cool and it generates energy. And you know, I might not know of someone and you might have a connection. So yeah, I am totally up for your help, especially with the launch of the book. So this podcast is coming out a week before the official book launch. The official book launch is may 20. That is when you for those of you that have pre ordered, love you. For those of you that have pre ordered, you will be getting your book by mail after May 20. For those of you that are waiting to order after the official launch that is coming May 20, it's so soon, I would encourage you to pre order, though, because with your pre order, you also get a companion guide to the book. And the reason that I created a companion guide. One was to give you an incentive to buy during the pre launch. Let's just keep it real. But also, I know how it is to read a book and get really excited about what I'm reading and then finish and put it down, and then carry on with life as normal. I. So the companion guide is really designed to support you in taking what you're reading and really teasing apart how you can apply it in your life, what it looks like in your family system. And I don't know if you know this, but the book that I wrote for you is not very long. I mean, it's a pretty short read, and it's quite narrative, and it's easy, it's like easy to consume, which I mean, as busy parents, we don't always have the time or the bandwidth to get through a really technical, 250 page parenting book, right? It's just and if we can't get through it, if we can't sit down and read it, then it's not very useful. So my goal was, yes, useful, practical tools. It's really just one tool that I highlight most, but that practical tool that is going to make a big impact on your life. So you want the book, all right? You want it, go check it out. You can find out more at www dot joyful courage.com/book, so now I'm finished with the commercial part of the program, and I'm so excited to jump in with content. So if you are on my newsletter list, then you were tipped off last week. Well, a couple weeks ago, I was in there mentioning that we put an offer on a new house. I think I've mentioned it on the podcast. I definitely talked about it during the teen Summit. But our family last the end of last summer, our family decided that we were going to be moving and that we were going to take a year and make it happen. And it was really exciting. We were coming off of that really tough year for my daughter and really kind of seeing the community differently and recognizing that we could change our experience. And so my husband and I and Rowan, my son, not so excited about it. Ian, not so excited, but I knew that he would be okay. And we really kind of got behind this idea of changing it up. And so last fall, we put it out there, and we decided this is happening. And you know, to be perfectly transparent and honest, we didn't like have this resource, this bank of cash, to make a big move like what we wanted, which was to move up to Bellingham, Washington and you know, but we decided that we weren't going to worry so much about how. We were just going to put our energy in the yes, it's happening. And we went and saw mortgage broker, and she mapped out what it would take, you know, and I've mentioned on here, it was a few days after going to see the mortgage broker that my husband was invited to do some work in California. We live in Washington, and it was like perfect timing, perfect timing, perfect pay. Granted, you know, he had to work. He's been working out of town since the beginning of January, which has been probably hardest for him. My kids are big, so we really have been pretty we've been okay, right? We missed dad, for sure. Anyway, fast forward to earlier this week. Well, actually, fast forward to a week ago, and we put an offer in on a house in Bellingham, seriously, like our dream house, and we found out on Monday that they accepted our offer. Everyone is on board. Everyone's excited. And it's just this incredible energy building towards this new adventure that we as a family get to go on. And it's so, so exciting. And while there are relationships here, where we live now that will be, you know, tested and

will be hard to let go of. Some of them will be let go of. Some of them will carry on. We are so excited. We are so excited. And even my son, who was the least excited about the whole plan, the beginning, has come to a place of of excitement as well. And then there's this book and joyful courage. Business is really kicking into gear. I started this week with a new group of parents of teenagers, and it's just been amazing, and I'm having this experience my. Having this experience of seeing all the abundance in my life, and it's really got me to thinking about how in the past, I would see abundance in others, other people's lives, and would think, gosh, you know, that could never be me, or I can't do that. Or, gosh, look what they can do never works out for me and and for a long time, was in the story of, you know, there's a ceiling, there's a threshold to what we can create in our life. And I I,

you know, and then we lived into that story, and I've realized that in changing the story, I have changed what has unfolded in my life, and it's amazing. And so what I want to talk about today is really how our story is, where is, what keeps us where we're at, and this idea that it's the story that we tell about our experience that continues to create our experience. I know it's kind of like what? So I've been listening to a lot of information and content around the law of attraction. Are you familiar with the law of attraction? If you are eye rolling right now, okay, you can eye roll, but this is what I'm going to talk about today. And I'm telling you I'm coming from a place of the Law of Attraction seriously being activated in my life in a way that is blowing my mind. So if you're not familiar with what the law of attraction is, I'm going to read to you from the website, law of attraction.com how they describe what it is. So simply put, the law of attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the universe, including the law of attraction. It is the law of attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things. Eventually, if you focus on negative doom and gloom, you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve, you will find a way to achieve them with massive action. We live our stories. We tell the stories we live. We live the story. We tell the story. Sometimes this can keep us kind of stuck, right? And it isn't the stuck that is bad. It's whether or not we want to be stuck where we are that we get to be aware of all right? So Law of Attraction is really this idea that like attracts like, right? So if your story is about how you know, nothing ever goes right for you, and your kids are a pain in the neck, right? And, and, and when the life you are experiencing feels really hard, and you talk about it with your partner, you talk about it with your friends, everything's really hard, and then you experience more of it. See, life is really hard. It's so hard for me, it's so easy for those other people, and I can't have that I can't have that relationship with my kids, and you share with your mom, or you share with your therapist. And there it is again, the hard and the heavy. And then maybe somebody randomly asks you, Hey, how's it going? And you give a big sigh, and you respond with, you know, I'm okay, but things are kind of hard right now, and this cycle continues to spin over and over. Is it that life is hard that's fueling the conversation? Is it the conversation that's fueling the hard in your life? Chicken before the egg conversation, right? And when we're in this cycle of hard and heavy and blame and victim, and not feeling like we have any influence, right? Where is there space for something new and different to happen? Where is there room to believe that there's another possibility that's where you are you're totally. Just resigned done. I'm never going to have that life that I want. It's always, you know? Well, it's hard with my kids now. Just wait till they become teenagers, then it's really going to suck, right? Are you nodding like, oh yeah, I get it. I get it too, right? I know this cycle I've been in this cycle, a contrasting picture is one where things maybe things are going really well. The kids are thriving. Relationship with your partner is good, or relationship with self is good. Business is good, work is feeling good. There's so many possibilities opening up, and you can see where you can influence things. You know you can take action. You talk about it with your partner, maybe with your friends. You're in excitement, and then you experience more of that, and you share it with your mom or your therapist. And there it is again. And what's showing up is this trust, right? This trust in the unfolding and the possibility and the excitement. And somebody says, Hey, how are you? And you give a huge smile, and you respond with, I am amazing. Things are so good. Things are unfolding for me, and that cycle continues to spin over and over and over, right? In that cycle, things feel spacious. They feel expansive. It feels like there is an expectancy, right, of more goodness, and you believe in the possibility, and you're open and you're hopeful, right? And it's that same cycle where the story is feeding the experience is feeding the story is feeding the experience. So what do you want? Which cycle Do you want to be in? Right which cycle Do you want to be in for? Well, you know, even before I asked that, where are you right now? Where are you right now? And wherever you are when somebody says, Hey, how's it going? What's the story that you tell? What's the most recent story that you told a friend or a family member about how things are going? And can you see how spending the energy in that feeds into the energy of it and creates more of it. Can you see that? And I know, well, I don't know this, but I'm guessing that some of you might be listening and thinking to yourself, Well, yeah, it's easy to have a positive attitude and a positive story when things are going well, and it's harder when things aren't going well and what happens. And this is like, this is the invitation that I'm going to make for to you today, today and this week. What happens when you change the story? Because if you saw yourself in that example of things are hard, my kids are driving me crazy. And, yeah, I talk about it because things are hard, and my kids are driving me crazy, and things continue to be crazy and hard, if you see yourself in that example, in that cycle, I just want to invite you into changing the story. Right? Change the story and just see how that influences the experience that you're having with your kids, with your job. See what opens up when, instead of saying, my kids are driving me crazy, instead saying, Gosh, my kids are stretching into so many new things, and they're kind of uncomfortable with it, and man, isn't it growing me, right? Or, you know, work, you hate your job. Okay? So maybe instead of talking about hating your job, maybe start talking about, it's time for me to find something else to do. I wonder what the next thing's going to be. I'm so excited to find something new, right? And can you see how that that like points you in a different direction. It literally shifts the compass of your life. When you can change the way that you talk about your life, and I think that we know that we're off course, and I love the idea of like, are you in your lane? Like we're in our lane when and we're at our best self, I think when we are feeling and experiencing love. Love and being connected and centered and grounded like to me, that's I'm in my lane and I'm in my best possible self when I'm experiencing love and presence and grounding, right? And so I have a Subaru Crosstrek, and it has some of the bells and whistles that it has. Includes this sensor that when I veer out of my lane, which actually happens more often than you think, turns out, when I veer out of my lane, my car, it makes a dinging sound. It like goes, Beebe, Beebe. Beep

to like, let me know, hey, you're out of your lane. And so I bring it back to the center of my lane, right? So when I'm when I think about that metaphor for, like, personal, interpersonal relationships, right? And how I'm showing up inside of my relationships, when I start or how I'm showing up, really to anything in my life, when I notice feelings of discouragement or disappointment or unworthiness or self doubt or fear, when I notice those kinds of things showing up, what I'm starting to see those as are that little ding, ding, ding, like in my car, those are the indicators that I've left my lane and I'm veering off course. And it's in those moments where I get to recognize, like, oh, okay, I'm feeling some disappointment here or okay, I'm feeling discouraged here. I'm feeling discouraged here. I'm going to come back to love, I'm going to come back to center, and I'm going to come back to being present in this moment and take a look at what's happening for me from that lens. Because when we look through the lens of discouragement, we are much more likely to find things that are discouraging. When we're looking through the lens of fear, we see the scary things, right? We see we create, well, we don't create it, but we start to see the evidence based on what lens we're looking out of. Does that make sense? I hope that makes sense. And so when we drop the self doubt, when we drop the fear, when we drop

that discouragement, the anger, the story of it's always going to be like this, the resignation, when we move from a resentment, when we move from that place and we come to a place of Love, we come to presence. We come to being grounded, and then again, consider the situation that's challenging to us. We're going to see it differently, right? We're going to see it differently. And you might be thinking to yourself, Okay, well, that's great, except for it's really hard to be grounded and to be loving and to be in your center all the time. And I'm going to say, I agree, it is hard, and the work isn't to be there all the time. The work is simply to grow your awareness of when you're not there and come back. And you might have days where you notice three or four times a day that you're kind of in your spin and you come back to center. You might have days where you feel like, Oh, I'm really getting this like every hour you're noticing that cycle, that spin cycle that you want to get out of. And you come to presence, and you come to love, and you come to being grounded, right? The goal is not to be this, like perfect Zen master 24/7 that would be really mean of me to tell you that that was the goal, because it's, I don't know anyone that can do that. The goal instead is to start to grow your awareness and start to change your story. And it's hard when you're in the spin of discouragement to tell a different story in a way that that you can believe in, right? It kind of is like the eye roll storytelling, like, Well, I'm just going to go through the motions. And there really isn't a lot that shifts, because you're not really changing the energy, because you're still bringing that energy of, you know, feeling like you. Don't have influence on your life, but when you can first notice that you're in the the discouraging story and choose to come you know to find your breath, this is going to sound familiar, to find your breath and come into your body, notice those places of tension that you're holding because we we hold tension. We don't realize we're holding tension. But I I'm guessing that, even if I said right now as you're listening, notice your eyes and your face and your jaw, could you loosen it up? My guess is the answer is yes. So you find that more neutral body, let go of that tension, and finding that neutral body allows you to feel more grounded and to feel more connected to the present moment and to hold space for love. And once you're there in your body, then you can get up into the balcony seat, you can tap back into your head and you can say, Okay, what does this look like now that I've kind of calmed everything down, what does this look like? And how can I tweak this in a way that I can believe in, that I can generate a different energy that can then influence the experience that I'm having. Isn't that cool. I mean, I think I'm so I could talk about this for so long, but I feel like that might be enough of a bite sized piece for now. But I just really want to encourage you, especially those of you out there that are feeling really discouraged right now, that feel like everything you're doing is fruitless and you're tired and you're you've thrown your hands in the air, or you're just on that verge of just letting go and just being in reaction mode. Or maybe it just feels like you don't have a choice. There's always a choice. And maybe what would be helpful to you is to play with this, changing up the story and seeing how it influences your experience. And I would love to hear about it. So I want you to play with it, and I want you to tell me how it goes. All right. Do you know that there's a lot of places that you can connect with me. I know I say it every week at the end of the show, but I love emails. I love it when you email me. I love reading the reviews. Oh, which reminds me, there's a couple of new reviews on iTunes, and I'm going to share them right now. Okay, I'm going to share two Oops. Oh, man, two new reviews that came in in the last few weeks. The first one was from Thank you podcasts. And the title of it is, thank you for the journey. Five stars, yay. And this person wrote in I've been listening to the this podcast for a few years now. I love Casey. Yay. Whenever I come back to it, particularly after a hard period of time in parenting, I'm always refreshed by her wisdom, knowledge and judge, free understanding. I love that. Thank you so much for that feedback. I love to hear how useful and valuable you find the show and the other, the other review that I got is from Latina AF, and the title is practice, practice. Practice makes human. And she wrote, I discovered this podcast not that long ago, but it is so good, I'm almost caught up with all available episodes. It's so good, it's made it on my nightly list of things I am thankful for today, on more than one occasion, I thought I understood what positive parenting was, that reading books about it and comprehending the principles was enough. Of course, I was wrong. I knew what to do, but kept failing and losing my cool, not responding as my child needed me to. What I required was a regular dose of reality, a constant reminder that this gig is tough and all I can do is keep learning, comforting my or confronting my childhood ghosts and practicing self care and personal improvement. I also needed to know that I was not alone. Casey's genuine and positive delivery reminds me of that her candor, her from the trenches, advice and awesome interviews regularly solidify the fact that parenting is a journey and that striving for perfection is futile. Trust in the process has become my current mantra. Do yourself a favor and listen to this podcast. Join the live in love with. Joyful courage community, so thank you. Oh, it's such a it's so lovely to get to hear those and read those reviews. If you haven't left a review yet, jump on into iTunes and leave a review. Give me five stars, please, and let me know what you love about the podcast. The more reviews that come in, one I love to get feedback and to know that you love the show. But also, the more reviews that come in, the more that iTunes shows the podcast to people that are searching for podcasts. So it's it really supports in the growth of the show audience as well. All right. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for listening. I had a really good time talking about tonight's topic. Well, it might not be tonight for you, but it's night for me, as I record, and I will be back next week with another interview. See you soon. Joyful courage community, thank you so much for tuning in each and every week. Big thanks and love to my team, including my producer, Chris Mann at pod shaper. Be sure to join the discussion over at the live and love with joyful courage group page, as well as the joyful courage business pages on Facebook and Instagram. Subscribe to the show through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, really anywhere you find your favorite podcasts. Also, I mentioned Patreon at the beginning of the show. Check it out. Www.patreon.com/joyful, courage. This is where you can contribute to the show and take advantage of patron perks like content rich monthly webinars and deeper discussions about what's being shared on the podcast. You will like it. Www, dot, P, A, T, R, E, O n.com/joyful, courage. Any comments or feedback about this show or any others can be sent to Casey at joyful courage.com I personally read and respond to all the emails that come my way. So reach out. You can also sign up for my bi weekly newsletter at joyful courage.com just go to the website. Sign up for that, take a breath, drop into your body, find the balcony seat and trust that everyone is going to be okay. Big Love to each and every one of you. Have a beautiful rest of your day.