Eps 167: Stacy Davison is on talking about the power of personal pep talk

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Today’s guest is Stacy Davison. Stacy is an instructional coach, entrepreneur, new mom to a rainbow baby boy. Last year Stacy and her husband started the company Personal Peptalk, a line of motivational and uplifting products which they design, illustrate, and self-publish. In her weekly motivational email on her podcast Stacy candidly shares how she dominates life challenges more mindfully. We will be discussing positivity in parenting and life. Join us!

“It’s easy to meditate up on the mountain top but eventually you have to come down and buy groceries.”

What you’ll hear in this episode:


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  • Finding zen where we are – preparing for the Super Bowl moments

  • The challenges of motherhood and the importance of being real about that

  • Shifting perspective on suffering

  • Choosing love, joy and compassion in moments of difficulty

  • How hanging onto suffering hurts us

  • Letting go of people pleasing to ask for what you need

  • Positivity in times of sorrow

  • Supporting friends in times of loss

  • Love bombs – what they are, how they help

  • Shifting to empowerment and choosing what you want to cultivate

  • Being a joy detective

  • Choosing not to be defined by the things that have happened

What does Joyful Courage mean to you?

Right, so I’m just getting started on human-ing, I’m 9 months into the journey, but man, it’s been a difficult road already. I’ve had so many opportunities to feel like a failure, to feel guilty and unsure and my goodness, so courage, I think about the willingness to continue to move forward and to continue to take responsibility for my own experiences and my joy so rather than making my son responsible for how I feel, that willingness to continue to look at my own stuff, and look at, “Okay, I’m reacting to my son right now but I think, actually, this has to do with something about me and am I willing to take a look at that for both of our sakes?”

And I don’t think that’s easy. I don’t think the road that I’ve chosen, to be willing to look at the hard stuff, that’s not easy but it’s the path that I’m choosing to go down. I think, as a result, your phrase, your brand, Joyful Courage totally speaks to me. I’m on a mission to find joy and I talk about joy a lot but I think that it takes courage to be willing to look at if I’m not experiencing joy, it probably has a lot more to do with me than it does anyone else around me and I don’t think having a son is going to make that any easier, right, this is another character in my story to get to bring things up for me to get to see that I couldn’t see because I’d never been in the context of a parent. I’m so grateful for him already, for being my teacher and I am brave enough to be willing to continue to travel this road and I’m grateful for friends like you to help me and remind me when I get stuck and need some support because it’s not easy but we have each other, right, and that’s what I’m trying to create with Personal Pep Talk. I don’t have all the answers but I can help love you through it if you’re going through it too.

Resources:

Pep Talk Decks

Where to find:

Personal Pep Talk website – sign up for her Monday Morning Motivation
Personal Pep Talk podcast | Personal Pep Talk Instagram | Personal Pep Talk Tattoos | Personal Pep Talk Facebook

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Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Music. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, my friends, yes, a place to be inspired, informed and hopefully entertained on the parenting journey, I'm your host. Casey arordi, parent coach, positive discipline trainer, and even more importantly, mother to two children who teach me every single day about how to practice showing up in a way that is helpful, connected and humble, who also point out when I am not showing up that way, when we choose into joyful courage, we are choosing into rejoicing in the opportunities for self growth and discovery that exist on the parenting journey. Yes, I did say rejoicing in those opportunities, and it's work, but so worth it. The path we are searching for is in our practice. Super grateful you're here to practice with me. Thank you so much for being a part of the community. Enjoy the show. Hey listeners, welcome back to the podcast. My guest today is Stacey Davison. Stacy is an instructional coach, entrepreneur and new mom to a rainbow baby boy last year, she and her husband started personal pep talk, an empowerment brand with a growing line of uplifting and empowering products, which they design, illustrate and self publish in her weekly Monday motivation email, on her podcast and over social media, Stacy candidly shares the strategies she's using to dominate life's challenges more mindfully, I love that dominate. Dominated. Most days you'll see her sporting a temporary tattoo on her wrist of a superhero shield with a heart in the center, because it reminds her that love is our superpower, and that even when life gets tough, we are so much tougher. Hi, Stacy, welcome. I know me too. We were just talking before I hit record listeners about how long we've been following each other. So it's really fun to come into collaboration. Shout out to Justine, our mutual friends.

Stacy Davison 2:19
We were meant to be friends.

Casey O'Roarty 2:22
Please share with the listeners a little bit more about how you found yourself doing what you do,

Stacy Davison 2:26
sure. So I wear many hats. I'm my profession. My day job is education. I've taught fourth and fifth grade for many years, and now I'm supporting teachers in an instructional coach role. So that's my day job. And besides being a new mom, which is actually my day and night job too, I recently, with my help, with the help of my husband, self published a deck of cards and a line of products called Personal pep talk, like you mentioned, and that really came out of my work in education, because I tend to choose pretty difficult work situations to work in. I work in Title One schools, so working with a lot of kids who have experienced aces, you know, adverse childhood experiences trauma. It's really heavy work, and it requires a lot of grit and emotional resilience. And you know, it requires me to hold space for a lot of heaviness and

Casey O'Roarty 3:38
without letting it overtake you, right? Yeah, I'm a pretty tender

Stacy Davison 3:42
hearted person, so I recognize that my job as an educator is to hold that space and that my experiences and the trauma I've experienced is nothing compared to what most of my students experience. But I'm human, and I experience the whole range of emotions, and sometimes holding that space is challenging, and so I was gearing up for a particularly challenging week ahead of me, and I told my husband, I wish I could just have all the strategies that I use to feel like a dominator, feel confident and empowered, had them on a deck of cards so I could Just pull a card, and it would remind me of like, what I know to be true about myself, and it would just help me to be more mindful and ready to take on these challenges, because I noticed when things were going well, of course. I mean, it's easy to be mindful and present and grounded when there's no additional stressors, but when the going gets tough, that's when it's harder to remember. You know, I think my husband says this thing about how it's easy to meditate up on the mountaintop, but eventually you have to come down and buy groceries like it's easy. To be mindful when everything feels serene and awesome, but eventually, like when things get tough, that's when it's nice to have a reminder. So it was feeling like, I wish I had these reminders at my fingertips, that I could just pick a card and it would remind me, oh yeah, you are enough, or you got this. And that idea led to a conversation about, well, why don't we do that? And within the span of about six months, we researched how to manufacture and produce decks of cards. I illustrate and do artwork, and had never had really a place to channel that, and obviously I'm having a lot of experiences in my life to draw from for inspiration, and we just figured it out and produced this awesome product that started out as being something I wanted for myself, but it's now snowballing into something that is traveling around the country, and orders are coming in from all over, actually, now internationally, and it's supporting not just me, but other people. And it's pretty amazing. I'm pretty proud of it.

Casey O'Roarty 6:10
Yes, I love that. I love that conversation around, you know, meditating on the mountaintop versus being out in real life. And I think that something that I like a metaphor that I use is, you know, when teams are practicing for the Super Bowl, right? They practice how they want to show up on the field over and over and over and over again, not during the game, right? And if you're not, and so like showing up to a classroom full of, you know, kids that are living with trauma, or going to the grocery store with your two year old, or knocking on your 15 year old's door knowing that they're in a dark place like that is the Super Bowl. Yeah, so to expect that we can walk into those situations and just like, Okay, I'm gonna just find my Zen right now when we haven't been actively practicing what that feels like outside of the Super Bowl moment. And it's so funny that I use the Super Bowl because I am not even a sports girl

Stacy Davison 7:11
anyway, that that metaphor. So yeah, me, and I'm not a football person, and I

Casey O'Roarty 7:16
love the visual. I love the visual. Like, esthetically, your cards are gorgeous. And, you know, I have so many post it notes and little things in my life to remind me of who do I want to be, right? Because otherwise, default automatic pilot is not always pretty.

Stacy Davison 7:33
Yeah. And I think, like a lot of people, I get feedback a lot about, oh, like, Oh, you're so great at staying positive. But

Casey O'Roarty 7:43
what you should see me without an audience, working

Stacy Davison 7:47
on this constantly, I have reminders all over to remind me to show up how I want to show up, like it's this is not easy for me. And I mean, life is tough. I'm not I'm not a Pollyanna, like, right? Real things are happening, but I'm practicing, and these were just tools to help me practice well.

Casey O'Roarty 8:08
And don't you think it's also so I just literally got off the phone with one of my closest friends who was calling to share a story about her teenager, and she was like, case I totally freaked out on her, like, I went to town, I was mad, and I could feel her kind of like, is that okay, you know? And I said, Hey, you know, it's not. You are aware of how you responded. And you get, if you feel like it's needed, you get to go back and say, Wow, I really freaked out. I was really scared, yeah. And I think part of the work that you do, and the work that I do is not perfection in the moment, but just awareness,

Stacy Davison 8:49
yeah, totally and accepting those, allowing space for whatever shows up. I imagine a campfire in my I call it emotional campfire. So I imagine, like, emotions and feelings are showing up. And so like, oh, anger is showing up, all right. Anger is allowed to come pop in at the campfire. That's part of the human experience. The more I can just let them come sit down and then go, the better my experience has been. They're all welcome.

Casey O'Roarty 9:20
Love that I love to follow. I love following you on Instagram. Everyone who's listening, you need to go to personal pep talk on Instagram. How do you decide? Do you have a strategy for your Instagram? How do you decide what to post and what to share?

Stacy Davison 9:36
That's a good question. I don't really have a strategy, per se. Except, yeah, I guess I would say it's I'm speaking my truth. So if I don't have anything to say, I'm not posting, and when I'm posting something, it's because I'm going through something and I'm sharing how I'm trying to tackle that, or I'm trying to be proactive about some. Thing that's coming up, and I'm sharing a strategy, because I'm I'm finding that there's just a lot of power and kind of growing this community, and when I've been honest about what's going on for me and how I'm navigating it, even if I'm just saying I'm having a rough time and I'm just sitting with that, and thanks for giving me a space to put that out there. Most of the time, people will respond with me too, or Yeah, I needed this today, and I totally get it. And you're not alone, because I'm going through this too, that as I start talking about the things I'm going through, people are sharing with me what they're going through like we're not that different, and so, yeah, it's just some sort of sharing, whatever's going on for me and whatever pep talk I need. So I guess it's slightly selfish, but it turns

Casey O'Roarty 10:52
out you and me, both you and me, both Stacy,

Stacy Davison 10:57
like people need the similar, a similar kind of pep talks, yeah, it worked for for multiple people. I

Casey O'Roarty 11:04
love that, and that's I find that so freeing, like that collective experience, yeah, you know, especially as I've moved into parenting teenagers, and I'm putting together a audio summit that I'm going to do in January, and it's really important to me, one, that my guests either have teenagers or have raised teenagers. And two, it's important to me that my guests have been challenged by raising teenagers like I'm really not interested in conversations around you know, teenage like my it was really easy for me, or my kids really didn't give me any problems. Like those aren't the conversations that I want to have. Or even, you know, I teach positive discipline, I am also really pushing up against. Well, if you raise them with positive discipline, the teen years are easy. Or because that's a load of crap, it turns out, spoiler alert, everyone. I mean, it's not I think there are gifts in my experience, the gift of raising my kids with positive discipline and now being in the teen years is the relationship is so solid, and the kids talk to me about things, there's really not a ton of sneakiness. And even when there is sneakiness, they're like, Hey, I was sneaky. Granted, that does make me want to go and stick my head in the sand some of the time. The information is too much, right? But it's also, you know, you can't really short circuit a teenage brain, like they're still going to do really stupid things, right?

Stacy Davison 12:35
And I'm really new in the parenting journey, like I have a nine month old, so I have no idea, but I know that every time we think we have something figured out and that we know him, then he goes through some new developmental stage and we're like, oh, okay, we're learning all over again. So I imagine that teenager is the same that, yeah, I mean, yeah, totally this, like, great foundation with our son, but every time he goes through a new development, we're readjusting that relationship is still strong, but you can't shortcut, yeah, what they have to go through. So I can imagine, yeah, that's how it is totally

Casey O'Roarty 13:13
and then it comes back to being authentic, because you're an influencer now, right? Personal Pep Talk is it's an influence or brand and joyful courage, you know. And I find too that, like the posts that I make that are kind of a snapshot into what is alive for me in the moment, those are the ones that get the most response, because people are like, yes, thank you. I am there too. And this whole teenage story, you know, I can't tell you how many people are reaching out and say and want to talk about that. It's hard because I think, like out in the real world, you know, when we're dropping our kids off at school or showing up to PTA meetings or whatever the surface is like, oh, you know, things are great, and people don't get vulnerable. But when it comes to, like, the whole online arena, what I'm hearing from parents is, wow, this is really hard. And thank you for giving voice to that,

Stacy Davison 14:11
right? And it's easy to get caught up in things, everything being curated, and yeah, looking like everything is this happy, awesome thing. And there are a lot of happy moments, but most of the time I'm I feel guilty for everything and, like, unsure of every decision I'm making, like, I feel like I'm up on the land blindly through this whole thing. Yeah, so that what I'm experiencing, and I'm just putting out there how I'm trying to deal with that I love in hopes that it might support someone else who's going through the same thing.

Casey O'Roarty 14:47
Yeah.

Tell me so I explored your website a little bit. Yeah, and there was something that you wrote. Wrote about that was useful to you, which in during a really hard time of your life, which was suffering is optional. Can you talk to me a little bit about what that means to you?

Stacy Davison 15:11
Yeah, yeah. I literally wrote that on a post it and put it on my laptop so I could see it in my face every day. I guess the big idea for me around that is the idea that I have a choice, that I don't have control over a lot of the circumstances outside of me. I don't have control over what other people do and their choices, but I do have control over what I'm doing and what I choose to focus on, and so I have a chance to shift my attention and either continue to focus on the thing that's causing me suffering or to cause me to get mad. Like I think about like, if something causes me to get angry, then I continue to suffer in it. Because I'm telling a story about it in my head. I'm replaying it in my mind. I'm like, Oh man, I can't believe he did that. What is the deal? Oh, it just I keep spinning about this thing, and I'm causing myself to suffer about it, where I could choose to take a pivot in another direction and feel more joy, and especially working with kids. I've had so many opportunities to practice that, and I you know when, when that lap, that note was on my laptop, I was teaching fifth grade, and it was a really, really challenging class, and I could choose to be suffering through the process, or I could choose to find whatever joy I could in that situation, or I could choose to find love and compassion. And so I choose love. So the suffering is optional. It helps me to remind me not that those experiences, the experience isn't necessarily optional, like the losses I've experienced, like those things happened and there was no option about the losses that I experienced, however, the way I chose to process those and deal with those, and to continue to sit in the pain or move forward like that was a choice that I get, got to make, and get to make in every situation. And like I said earlier, I I practice allowing and accepting all emotions, so it's not about pushing the quote bad emotions down. I'm I'm not for that, but I am for processing and then taking a step forward. And I think that posted the suffering is optional, helped me to remember that I could stay put, focusing on the thing that's making me uncomfortable or mad or frustrated, or I could shift in the new direction, and I choose shift.

Casey O'Roarty 18:06
I love that. And we get to really decide how long we sit in it, sit in the muck. That's what I say. It's like we're in the muck. And it's always sometimes the first step is simply rolling over and recognizing that we don't need to be faced down in it,

Stacy Davison 18:21
right? And I've heard pamachaudran talk about some brain study about how an emotion really lasts 90 seconds, if you let it the duration of an angry experience or emotion can last 90 seconds, but it tends to last much longer, because we dwell and spin and continue to talk tell stories about it. So especially after hearing that, I'm like, oh, so there's actually like, I can't cite the research, like, I would have to go back and listen to exciting.

Casey O'Roarty 18:55
But let's just say it was Pima. Just Google that people or google it, whatever it was,

Stacy Davison 19:04
inter brain, yeah, but it was a great reminder that there is actually probably like data to prove that, like if we really just let an emotion run its natural course like it wouldn't last as long as it can,

Casey O'Roarty 19:23
right? Yes, yeah. And I was in a transformational workshop one time, and the trainer, you know, and people were sharing really traumatic experiences, you know, that are still influencing their life. And she was, she was really pointed in saying, you know that happened to you and that person hurt you, and that is true, but holding on to it is you hurting yourself, yeah, like with the deed that happened happened, and that's on them and letting you. You know, holding on to suffering for whatever reason. Sometimes I think, you know, I know, in my experience, sometimes it's just, I want everybody to feel bad. I want them to know how mad I am. So it is kind of a hanging on, and it is a conversation with myself, like case, really, can we let this go? Come on, you know, and being aware and what do I want most versus what do I want right now? But I love that message of suffering being optional, and I think it's there's a lot of layers to that too. A lot of layers to that.

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Stacy Davison 23:44
Yeah, those experiences definitely were the inspiration for most of what I have put together in the decks of cards since it I mean, my life is different because of that. And my mom died when I was 21 so I don't think I was all that self aware to know really. I mean, I coped with it the best I could when it was happening. But 2015 which I morbidly call the year of death, is when we had three miscarriages and my mother in law passed away, and my brother in law passed away three months after my mother in law, which was just like my husband and I just couldn't catch a break. It was just loss after loss. Like almost every month we experienced some major loss, and each one of those are significant. Yeah, it just happened to be that the miscarriages and the loss of my mother in law, I mean, my mother in law died a year after my husband and I got married. So for me, I just got a mom again. I lost my mom a long time ago, so I felt, I felt like it was really unfair that I was just I got a mom again, and now I was losing her like the second chance at. A mom at the same time wanting to be a mom, and that not working out for me, and nobody could explain why it was happening. And so there was a lot of kind of beating myself up and feeling like something was wrong with me, that it was me, that it was my body, and everyone else around me is becoming a mom, so it's happening for them, but not for me. And I think that one of the biggest things that what I ended up putting in the pep talk deck that was the most powerful thing that I took out of that was recognizing my emotional journey as courageous and my willingness to advocate for what I needed To take space and I'm one of my best friends was pregnant at the time. Two of my best friends were pregnant at the time. I had my third miscarriage, so it felt especially painful, especially to be around them. One of them is local, so I found that was processing this really intense pain, and every time I saw her, it was just excruciating for me. And so I had a conversation and told her, I just can't be around you right now. I need space, and I love you so much. Please don't take it personally. But I was grieving and then so much pain that at the risk of what that maybe was going to do to our friendship, I needed to ask for what I needed, and in that time, I needed to have space. And we're still great friends. Yeah, I've come by the other side to recognize that, yeah, it was okay to really like, sit with the heavy emotions, like to I didn't shy away from the pain that I experienced from all the losses. I chose to to grieve and to ask for the space that I needed. And the result was people gave me that space. She gave me that space. We communicated about it, and like I said, we came out the other side. I think better friends because of it, but I mean, that was one of the hardest things I've done, too, was asking for what I needed. I'm very much a people pleaser. I tend to meant to be best friends, much rather you be happy then and me suffer at the same time than ask for what I need. Yeah, so that was a huge, huge thing for me to say to myself that I'm enough and that I'm worthy of advocating for what I need, and I believe everybody is and if the tables were turned, one of the cards in the deck is treat yourself how you'd treat your best friend if she came to me and asked for the same space, I would totally understand and hold that space for her and be here when she came back. I wouldn't be thinking anything of it. So why wouldn't I treat myself the same way?

Casey O'Roarty 28:21
Yeah, well, and that's kind of leads me to my next question, because I'm 100% sure that every single person that's listening to this conversation has either experienced a similar loss or has friends or family members who have suffered miscarriages or lost a loved one, and, you know, and there's, you know, there's memes and there's videos, and there's things that kind of support us all in getting over ourselves and supporting each other in their grief. From your experience, how can we be better? Like yay for your friend and for you asking for what you need. And not everybody can navigate their own stuff to really show up well for the people that they love, or they just want to do something, or they they want to know the right thing to say. What advice do you have for people who are supporting and loving their friends and family, who are having some kind of experience right now with loss? Yeah,

Stacy Davison 29:19
definitely. Yay for her Nicole. She is one of us. She thinks like us, and so, yeah, she was, I guess, open enough to that kind of ask to be able to create that space for me. So I'm really blessed to have friends in my life like that who could be okay with that, especially at being her first kid, like she was going through her own excitement about it, and I missed it, but she loves me enough to to give me what I need. And so I guess that would be the first thing is be willing to hold space for whatever the person needs, and the space, I mean, there were so many times where I thought I would. Is over it, and then something else would happen. Or, you know, when things would come back up. So I think grief is such a messy, non linear process that it took me by surprise how it kept coming up. Or just when I think, yeah, I think I'm over this, and then it would come back up. Yeah.

My mom died so long ago, and I still have moments where I'm overcome with that loss. It gets easier, but it surprises me so having space to be able to navigate that no matter what it looks like is really powerful. But I think the other thing is, my husband and I practice this a lot, and I found it to be such a loving way of supporting each other, but asking the person what they need, and something my husband and I use, and we've included this in the deck too. I keep saying that, but

Casey O'Roarty 31:01
it's really cute, by the way, that you and your husband made the deck together,

Stacy Davison 31:06
super cute. It is really a labor of love. I mean, it is a it is a group effort. But I guess it keeps coming up because it's so authentic. Like, this is how we live our lives. We just put them on a deck of cards. It wasn't like, oh, let's we could sell this. It didn't start off as like, let's make money. It was, this is how we live our life. Wouldn't it be nice to share this? But something we use is to say, How can I love you right now, or how can I support you right now? And I think, had I've been going through one of these losses, and somebody asked me that like it can feel so just it feels like a big hug to be able to answer that question and say exactly what you would want. And for me, grief looks like I didn't want anyone around me. I wanted to be alone and like watching movies by myself and eating comfort food, and I knew I would come out of it and then eventually be social with people at one point, but I just wanted somebody to be available for me to text them when I needed a little love. But I wanted space, and that's not what everybody needs. But rather than trying to guess what someone needs, because it looks so different for everybody, just asking the question, the question, How can I support you right now? How can I love you? You tell me how you want to be loved right now, and I will do that, and that could look like not doing anything at all, yeah, or leaving you alone. And I'll do it.

Casey O'Roarty 32:47
I love that question. How can I love you right now? I do say, How can I support you so much so that my kids are like, they'll sometimes, if I'm having a hard time, they'll look at me with a crazy expression and be like, Oh, do you need some support, Mom?

Stacy Davison 33:03
Oh, this is gonna be my son. Oh

Casey O'Roarty 33:05
yeah, oh yeah. They pick up the language and they throw it right back at you, and it's pretty hilarious, growing up in that Yeah, but how expressive, right? I mean, I really appreciate that. Thank you. Yeah, you're welcome. Talk to me about love bombs.

Stacy Davison 33:20
Love bombs. So basically, for me, that just means surprising someone with a little love and gratitude when they least expected. And it really started when I left the classroom. I one of my first jobs after I left teaching to support other teachers. I was an instructional mentor, so I was supporting teachers in their first and second years of teaching, which, if you're in teaching, I don't need to say anything more about that. You know, there's

Casey O'Roarty 33:51
some years

Stacy Davison 33:51
pretty intense, so there are a lot of ups and downs, and while, like most of, my job was to help them to get better at instruction and to support them in growing professionally. It's hard to ignore just the emotional roller coaster that it is to feel totally inadequate and feel like you have so much weight on your shoulders, right? Kids only have one grade level like you get 1/4 grade year.

Casey O'Roarty 34:20
So I remember as a teacher at those early years, like, when is somebody going to walk in and realize that I have no idea what I'm doing? Yeah?

Stacy Davison 34:28
I think we've all felt that way as a teacher when you're starting, but you you can't show that now, the way contracts are like, yeah, it you do the best you can to you pull it off. Yeah, you make it and so I recognize that people could use a little extra love for the sake of love and just uplifting encouragement. And so I put together a little stash of. Cards. And like Trader Joe's has these awesome greeting cards for a buck, so it would just get tons and tons of all these greeting cards, and these pop open inspiration cards with quotes on them, and stickers and washi tape, all this fun materials available to me so that the moment I noticed somebody could use a little pick me up. I'd go out to my car and write a note and embellish it and stick it in their mailbox, and then they'd get it later after school, and it just be a little love knowing me, sharing how much I appreciate them, or reminding them that they're stronger than they think they are, and they're gonna get through this. And I get it just it's a you're not alone, and I'm with you. And I found that if I have all this stuff, I'll do it like if you have thank you notes, I think you're more likely to actually give a thank you note. So I put them all together, and now it's really become a part of how I support people I don't I'm no longer a mentor. I'm in a different role now, but that's just become like a human practice for me. Like anytime I think, How can I give this person a little extra love? Oh, well, I have all these supplies so, and on my team, I became like, I mean, they would call me the love bomber, like I got this persona of just this big heart who wanted to spread some love, and I'm good with that. Yeah, that I would love that to be my lady. We should

Casey O'Roarty 36:30
all want to be love bombers. I mean, can we just

Stacy Davison 36:35
the best kind of bomber there is, for sure, 100%

Casey O'Roarty 36:39
yes. So what's the impact that you want personal pep talk to have on the world? Stacy, oh,

Stacy Davison 36:47
man.

Casey O'Roarty 36:48
I mean, I know you made the deck for you, but girl,

Stacy Davison 36:52
I do. I would like to share it with as many people as possible. We did. We made like when we produced it, we made a deck for all people and a deck specifically for teachers, since obviously, that's I, that's my language. So I guess it comes down to empowerment. I would love to help people feel even more empowered. And like I mentioned this, right? We don't have control over so many experiences and challenges and losses like,

Casey O'Roarty 37:24
right? The external events happen? Yeah,

Stacy Davison 37:26
those are gonna happen, but we can make choices, and we do have control, and focusing on the things that we can control, I think feel more I feel more empowered when I shift to focus on, what can I do about this? Like, what, you know, what is, what is the action that I can take and choosing what I want to cultivate in my life? Like I want to feel more joy. Well, then I'm going to go look for it. I'm going to, I'm going to be a joy detective and scope out what I can find that makes me feel happy like that, I get to make a choice about that, and I'm not going to leave that up to what other people are doing or the situations around me. I have experienced a lot of loss and hard experiences, but while they've helped me learn like that doesn't define me. I get to make choices, and I would want just to remind people about that, and my personal pep talk acknowledges that things are hard, so I'm not trying to wash that away or lighten that. You know, it's like, there's space for that we were mentioning right there's it's acceptance and allowance and feeling like empowered enough to be able to make a small pivot in the direction that you'd like to go. Love that.

Casey O'Roarty 38:53
Yeah, yay. In the context of parenting, no, not of parenting, in the context of humaning, I'm gonna say, through life's challenges, what does joyful courage mean to you? Stacy, right?

Stacy Davison 39:10
So I'm just getting started with humaning. I'm nine months into the journey, but, man, it's been, it's been a difficult road already. I've had so many opportunities to feel like a failure, to feel guilty and unsure, and my goodness so courage I think about the willingness to continue to move forward and to continue to to take responsibility for my own experiences and my joy. So rather than making my son responsible for how I feel, like that willingness to continue to look at my own stuff and look at okay, I'm reacting to my son right now, but I think actually this has to do with something about me. And am I willing to take a look at that for both of our sakes? And I don't think that's easy. I don't think this road that I've chosen to be willing to look at the hard stuff, that's not easy, but it's the path that I'm I'm choosing to go down. And I think as a result, the your phrase, your your brand joyful courage totally speaks to me, because I am on a mission to find joy. And I talk about joy a lot, but I think that it takes courage to be willing to look at if I'm not experiencing joy, it probably has a lot more to do with me than it does anyone else around me, and I don't think having a son is going to make that any easier, right? This is just another character in my story to get to bring things up for me to see that I couldn't see it because I have never been in the context of a parent. So I'm I'm so grateful for him already, for being my teacher, and I am brave enough to be willing to continue to travel this road, and grateful for friends like you to help me and remind me when I get stuck and need some support, because it's not easy, but we have each other, right? And that's what I'm trying to create with personal pep talk. It's I don't have all the answers, but I can help love you through it. Yes, you're going through it too.

Casey O'Roarty 41:33
So great. So great. Thank you so much. So real quick as we wrap up, tell the listeners about where they can find you and follow your work and what you've got for us. Because we talked about the cards, we did not talk about the tattoos. Yes,

Stacy Davison 41:49
um, you can go to my website, personalpeptalk.com, and I it is just a kid we've originally it was about the deck of cards. But now I've gotten more clear about this is a brand. This is growing. Because as I come up with more and more strategies to support me and us in this journey, I tell my husband I want to make this, and we figure out how to make this whatever it is, and we put it on the site. So yep, that's how I

Casey O'Roarty 42:22
work. Too random. Okay, let's try it. Let's

Stacy Davison 42:24
figure it out. Luckily, my husband's really good at researching things like that, so I can just be the creative brainstormer and artist. It's great. We work really well together. I would just die if I did his part. So we have two decks of cards, like one is for all people and one is specifically for teachers. But then we also started to create a line of temporary tattoos, which we mentioned post its and things right? I'm all about visual reminders to have those things in front of my face, so I remember the intention I set for myself for the week. And so I found that if I put a temporary tattoo on my wrist, it helps me to remember whatever I'm working on that week. And so I continue to draw and letter and produce more and more temporary tattoos. And we actually just lowered the price like crazy, because we just want people to have access to them, but it's awesome little support. And for teachers, it's really cool to be able to share. The kids always ask about it, and it's nice to be able to model. Well, I'm I'm working towards goals, and I'm a human and sometimes I

Casey O'Roarty 43:35
forget, yeah, so I think that's so important reminders. Yeah, right. We're

Stacy Davison 43:38
modeling for them. So and they ask, so, yeah, it's constantly growing. And like you mentioned, Instagram, that's really my social media platform of choice. It's very visual, and I'm an artist, and so I'm constantly posting there. And that's at personal pep talk also, yay. Oh yeah. And they write this awesome Monday morning motivation email every Monday. I've been doing it for over a year now. I have never missed a Monday, even after I had my son, I literally Thank you. I'm very proud of myself. He should be just a little nugget of inspiration in your inbox to help you dominate the week.

Casey O'Roarty 44:24
Beautiful, yeah, yeah. And everybody, you can go to Stacy's website to sign up for that Monday morning motivation as well as to see the collection of temporary tattoos. Or you can be like me, I just went out and had surrender tattooed to my wrist. So I was, I had a bracelet that said it, and I was like, You know what? This is not permanent enough. And the cards, that's the problem. What would I use? I know? Well, you'll figure it out. You'll know, we'll talk in 10 years, and you'll be like, Oh yeah, that was the one. Oh Stacy, the. This is so fun. Thank you so much for coming on and being part

Stacy Davison 45:02
of the show. Thank you so much. I had the best find Thanks Casey,

Casey O'Roarty 45:10
joyful courage community, you are amazing. Big thanks and love to my team, including producer Chris Mann at pod shaper. Please be sure to join in the discussion over at the live and love with joyful courage Facebook group, as well as the joyful courage business page on Facebook and Instagram. Subscribe to the show through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, or really, anywhere you find your favorite podcasts, you can view the current joyful courage programs and my coaching offers over at the webpage, simply head to www.joyfulcourage.com to find more support for your conscious parenting journey. If you want to give back to the show, and I really hope you do become a patron, click donate on the website to give back to the show that gives you so much any comments or feedback about this episode, or any others can be sent to [email protected] I personally read and respond to all the emails that come my way. Reach out, take a breath, drop into your body, find the balcony seat and trust that everything is going to be okay.

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