Eps 133: Politics and Parenting

Transcription

Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Music. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, my friends, yes, a place to be inspired, informed and hopefully entertained on the parenting journey, I'm your host. Casey arordi, parent coach, positive discipline trainer, and even more importantly, mother to two children who teach me every single day about how to practice showing up in a way that is helpful, connected and humble, who also point out when I am not showing up that way, when we choose into joyful courage, we are choosing into rejoicing in the opportunities for self growth and discovery that exist on the parenting journey. Yes, I did say rejoicing in those opportunities, and it's work, but so worth it. The path we are searching for is in our practice. Super grateful you're here to practice with me. Thank you so much for being a part of the community. Enjoy the show. Hey everybody. Welcome to the podcast. I am so grateful, as always, that you are listening in today. Today's gonna be a little different than you might be expecting. Hopefully you saw with the title that the theme is around the politics of parenting. I'm gonna speak into my experience of speaking my truth as an influencer, as a guide on the parenting journey. And I'm really considering the questions of, can we keep politics and parenting separate, and do we want to and when I think about parenting and big parenting issues, I don't see how we can keep politics out of it. And when I talk about politics, I don't mean like this is who I'm voting for or any sort of agenda. What I mean is being in action, speaking about the issues right the sides that can be taken the gray areas. I mean, even you know some of the things that come up in parenting that are absolutely political discussions. You know the very first thing birth right, having the right to choose where you birth, having the right to choose what your birth story is going to be even inside of knowing that we can't always plan right? I know that for me, having the choice to go to a birth center and work with a midwife was really important to me with my second child, being able to choose to be home and give birth to him at home was really important to me, we look at breastfeeding right and laws around where and when we can breastfeed our babies, that's a political conversation. You show up to this podcast because you're interested in positive discipline and conscious parenting, and one of the things that we don't really talk about it very much, because it's just a given. Is around, you know, spanking, right? Spanking and punitive ways of parenting, right? That's a political conversation. That's a political conversation. Schooling, what we get to choose and decide to do with our kids around school, where we send them or not? Do we homeschool? Having the right to homeschool parents who are choosing not to do homework with their kids, that's a political act, right? So the idea that we can separate politics from parenting is false, like we just can't do it. Do we get really explicit in language around the political issues involved in parenting, not always, not always, but they, they are connected, right? It's complex. And I'm really grateful to have a pattern, a platform where I can speak into what is true for me. I am recording this show on Thursday, February 22 and a week ago, this morning, a community woke up to realize that the tragedy that had rocked their community the day before was not a nightmare, that in fact, a 19 year old young man showed up at Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida and killed 17 people, kids, adults, 17 people who are now being grieved by friends and family. Is this a political issue? Hell yeah. I am done with this headline. Nine. And I'm also done with feeling like I can't speak my truth for fear of offending people. I dove into following the teens that have been energized into this action, like I was pretty much paralyzed by that and paralyzed, I mean, like I could not get anything on my list done, because I was just so engrossed in watching the way these young people responded to what had rocked their world. And I posted my thoughts. I posted some thoughts on my personal Facebook page, a few different posts, and yesterday, Wednesday, I posted on my Instagram account, a post and linked it to my Facebook business page. What I posted was a meme, right that said, the children almost broken by the world will become the adults who save it. You.

I credited Frank Warren for that quote. His name's on the meme, and then the post that I wrote is as follows. I wrote, so here's how I'm feeling. My kids aren't broken. However, this school shooting slash random acts of violence BS has got to stop. Humans are hurting. Guns are too available. Schools aren't secure. There's a lot going on under the surface here, I will no longer complain about it. I will act. I will be in action, and with this action, I will inspire others to see how they can act, including the two that matter the most to me, Rowan and Ian. I love you. I will fight for you. I will get uncomfortable and curious and let go of what people think to fight for your future and your safety. You and all kids deserve this from the adults that came before you. Stay tuned. So that's what i i posted. I posted that on my Instagram account and on my private or not my private, but my Facebook business account, and I got a reply from one of my followers asking me not to get political. She acknowledged that that that wasn't why she followed me and advised me to continue on as the resource I am in creating change. She was respectful in her tone, for sure, however, she was clear with her message, not here, this is not what we want to see. And a week ago, a month ago, a year ago, this would have rocked me, right? This would have rocked me, because I want everyone to like me. I want everyone to push that like button. I'm like a teenager with that. But, you know, sorry, not sorry. I will not be silent. I am a political being. I speak about things that relate to the public affairs of our country. We are raising adults right future leaders and citizens of the world. How is that not political? Now I don't imagine, and I also want to acknowledge that a few other people made comments supporting, supporting that. I was putting this out into my joyful courage arena, right? Supporting that, and I really appreciated that as well. I don't imagine that everyone who follows joyful courage shares all of my views. I am guessing that if you've listened long enough, you realize that I am a flaming liberal, and if you didn't realize that, you know the cat's out of the bag, I support dignity and respect for all humans. Black lives matter to me. Immigrant lives matter to me. Women having equal rights, including rights over their body, matters to me. I believe that people have the right to gather and worship in a way that works for them. I believe in climate change that it's a real thing, and the duty we all have to honor the earth. I believe that people who are raised to feel connected, loved and as though they matter. Don't show up at private or public events with the intent to kill. I do not believe that private citizens have the right to own weapons of war. I believe our schools should be safe and secure. I do not believe that teachers should have guns. I believe in a healthcare system that is proactive in supporting the mentally ill and available to everyone. I believe in compassion. I believe in civic action. Now, some of what I just shared might turn you off to my work and my message. I hope that it doesn't, because at the most. Most foundational level. I believe in love, living it,

Speaker 1 10:04
spreading it, speaking it, being it.

Casey O'Roarty 10:10
And that is what will save the world. I love the message of love thy neighbor as thyself. It is, do you know this? It is a message of all major religions. And when this is our come from, when this is the message is, where is what we start to live, then the world will be healed when we see ourself and the other. We can heal the world when we see ourselves in the homeless people that we walk by, we're inspired to act. We are inspired to smile, to make eye contact when we see ourselves in the faces of the refugees that are fleeing their countries, the mothers, the children, the fathers, when we see ourselves in them, we want help, right? We want to be in action. I also acknowledge that it isn't easy. It isn't easy to put ourselves out there and speak our truths. We don't want to, well, some of us, me, it isn't easy for me, I'll speak for myself. I don't want to offend people. I do not want to argue. I get really emotional and cry, and that kind of kills my my argument. I worry about what other people think, and I want people to feel comfortable, right? So that gets in my way of speaking my truth, and my guess is, it gets in a lot of people, people's ways, and right now, the environment for having powerful conversations around big issues and messy issues. It's so toxic, it is so challenging to talk about the issues that matter to most of us, and it's scary to get vulnerable and say what we need to say and to lead from the front. But today I declare that I am no longer going to worry about ruffling feathers. I will continue to share the content that you've come to love, right? I'm going to and I'm going to elevate it by pushing my fears aside. I'm going to bring more of myself. You're probably thinking, Whoa, how could she bring more? Well, there's more, right? There's more. I will bring more of that. I will bring more authenticity and truth. I will leave behind wanting everyone to like me. I will leave behind the fear that can get in my way because I'm worried about what other people are gonna think. I am done with school shootings, friends and my guess is you are too it is time to have hard conversations. It is time to look for solutions. It is time to get involved, to ask questions, to reach out and trust that your voice is valued. Humans are hurting. Weapons of war are too available, and schools aren't secure enough. So let's do something about it. And you know, my intention today is to share from my experience, my intention today is to spur you into some kind of action, even if it's the smallest action, do something right? Because nothing changes. If nothing changes, we get to be the interruption. We get to be the the spark that lights a movement, right? So I'm just going to share a little bit about what I've done over the past few days in around action. So I emailed the administration team at my daughter's High School to voice my concern and to educate myself around what's already in place, because I have no idea. I don't know what their security deal is over at the high school or the middle school or any of the schools. In fact, I also offered myself as a community member to partner with them, to be in deeper relationship with parents and the community about how they are keeping our kids safe, including how they are fostering a sense of belonging in the building. I also, you know, our district, they do a monthly principal parent Meet and Greet for all the schools, I believe I put the monthly principal parent Meet and Greet for the middle school that my son goes to and the high school that my daughter goes to on my calendar every month It's on my calendar now so that I go you

I am not planning on being on the outside looking in anymore. I want those administrators to know me by name. I want to support them. I want to challenge them, and I want to work with them to make my kids schools better. I. So I put a call in to our district safety and risk assessment person that's an one person that's in charge of that office or that that job. I left a message, and I will follow up with an email. Again, I am inviting myself into the conversation and offering myself as a partner and the work that he is already doing, I emailed our local community coalition about an idea that I've had for a long time for running a film festival in our town to highlight documentaries that invite conversations around teenagers and screens and you know, the messages that boys and girls are getting about how to be masculine, how to be feminine. There's documentaries around anxiety. There's so many, right? There's so many. I want to bring them to our community to foster conversations about the things that so many of us have opinions and fears about, but we're not talking about it, or we're complaining about it on social media, but we're not having in person discussions. Saying, Yeah, that's one of my fears, too. What do you do? How do you help yourself? How do you help your child? What are the agreements that you have around screens, right talking to each other, taking ourselves out of the isolation and the fear that we feel, and putting ourselves in the community to lean on each other and to strengthen our resolve, right and all of this is on top of calling my representatives and showing up for meetings and rallies for smarter gun laws, for health care for all right, those are things that are important to me. So acknowledging this might not have been why you turned into the tuned into the podcast today, I thought I gave a pretty good heads up with the title parenting and politics. The good news is, if this conversation isn't for you, there's over 100 ever other episodes that you can turn to today for parenting tips and inspiration. But today this show, it's about action. It's about taking action. It's about taking off our mask of fear and complacency and replacing it with vulnerability and being emotional and speaking our truth. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for listening. I feel like it is my responsibility to speak up about this. It's my responsibility to not pretend that all is well and good and that the world our children are inheriting is going to be magical and peaceful, because we don't yell, right? The world is messy. It is a messy place, and it will continue to be messy, but we are in the creation of that world. Everything we do is part of the creation of the world that we live in, what we buy, who we vote for, whether or not we speak up when we get that intuitive hit that what we are witnessing is wrong. We are in the creation even when we do nothing, we are in contribution to the world that we live in today. Whether we're doing something about it or not, we are in contribution even when we turn away because it's too hard or too scary or too vulnerable, we are still in contribution in the creation of the world we live in. And starting today, I choose to be in action. I choose to be proactive. I choose to let my voice be heard. And I really, really hope that you join me in the show notes. I'm going to link to a few different organizations that inspire me that I'm going to become more involved with I encourage you to check them out. If that's something that's interesting to you, I would also invite you, you know, to notice and pay attention to what showed up for you as you listen to me speak into this I am under no illusion that I share the same views of the world as all of my listeners. So my guess is that perhaps one or two things that I brought up, if not more today, are gonna maybe rub you the wrong way. And I'm okay with that, right? I'm okay with that. And I would invite you to get curious about that. What it is, what is it about me speaking up about what I talked about today, about politics, about these kind of hot button issues, what is it that makes you uncomfortable and get curious there? Learn a little bit more about yourself, right and and here's the thing my kids, you know, when I talk about all of this, what my daughter said? To me when I asked her, do you feel safe at school? She said, I don't feel safe at school, but I don't think about it very much, because when I do, I feel overwhelmed. All right? I want my kids to know that I am in action. I am not sitting at home hoping not to get the call that there's been a school shooting or an intruder in their building, I am taking action, and I also want to acknowledge, I also want to acknowledge the adults in the buildings showing up for these kids, right? Showing up for these kids. And I had a conversation with one of my very best friends, who teaches in the LA School District, and she said that the conversation that she's had with her family is, Listen, if we have an intruder, I'm taking a bullet for my students. And teachers should not have to be expected to take bullets for our kids that should not be part of the job. So please, I beg you, Get involved. Get involved, and whatever your stance is, wherever you see the problem being, get involved. We have to figure this out. We have to be in conversation. Because it's not okay. It's not okay that school shootings are a thing, not to mention concerts and churches, you know, and all the other public places that mass murders are happening. So how's that for an uplifting podcast? Thank you for making it to the end. I love you people. I love our community. I love the safety and the support that we offer to each other. I really appreciate you being willing to listen and all the feedback that I get from you. So keep it coming. I would love feedback on this, good or bad. I'm willing to take it. Thank you. I'll see you next week. Joyful courage community, you're amazing. Big thanks and love to my team, including my producer, Chris Mann at pod shaper. Be sure to join in the discussion. Over at the live in love with joyful courage group page, as well as the joyful courage business page on Facebook and Instagram. Subscribe to the show through Apple podcasts, or really, anywhere you find your favorite podcasts, you can view the current joyful courage swag over at the web page, intention, cards, bracelets. E course offers the membership program one on one, coaching. It's all waiting for you to take a look. Simply head to www dot joyful courage.com/yes. That's joyful courage.com/y. E, S, to find more support for your conscious parenting journey. Any comments or feedback about this show or any others can be sent to Casey at joyful courage.com. I personally read and respond to all the emails that come my way, reach out, take a breath, drop into your body, find the balcony seat and trust that everyone is going to be okay.