Share8 Fun Things to do with an 8 Year Old
I’ve always been drawn towards working with young children, and I simply don’t have as much experience with the older elementary crowd that I do with the littles. Luckily, because of Positive Discipline, I know that my first step in caring for these 2nd, 3rd, & 4th graders is to focus on building connection. The rest will come! So, how can we connect with older elementary schoolers? There’s a definite sweet spot between suggesting toys & games that are “too babyish” but still making sure they’re getting time to play & be a kid. These are some of the games, activities, & conversations that help me stay connected to the 8 year old that I regularly care for.
Get Outside
Getting kids outdoors is a fantastic path to connection! When moods are getting tense, if you’re having a hard time transitioning, when the energy in the room is way high or way low – those are clues it’s a good time to go outside & get some fresh air. Maybe you only need to step out and each grab a few deep breaths or maybe you’re up for spending the whole afternoon at the beach. Either way, being in the sunshine & fresh air will do wonders for everyone’s mood!
The options for games & ideas to play outdoor are countless, but a few of my all time favorite outdoor activities with kids are:
- Building a snow friend in fresh snow
- Picking blackberries or other fresh fruits
- Going on a walk through the neighborhood – add a little excitement by doing a scavenger hunt for the digits 0-9, each color of the rainbow, or for seasonal/holiday decorations
- Shooting hoops, kicking a soccer ball around, playing frisbee or catch, etc
- Visiting playgrounds! My nanny kids and I are so lucky to be in Seattle with dozens of well-maintained public parks & playgrounds, and we sure take advantage of that!
- Blowing bubbles (yep, even big kids like bubbles!)
- Drawing w/ sidewalk chalk
- Going on a walk or easy hike
Play a Board Game
Ask your nanny kiddo what their favorite board game is and start with that one! I’m a huge fan of board games & card games myself, and I pick up new ones frequently at the thrift store for less than $5 a game. The focus can certainly be on fun & connection, but board games & card games have other benefits too: practice taking turns, how to be a good sport & gracious winner, fine motor skills, numeracy, etc. My nanny kiddos and I love playing the cooperative games from Peaceable Kingdom like Mole Rats in Space and Gnomes at Night, since that really reflects the messaging that we are a team and keeps us in a cooperative mindset.
Side note: I’m a huge fan of house rules! Games are supposed to be fun, and sometimes just a few simple tweaks can make a huge difference. I never hesitate to change the rules up, so that we can all enjoy!
If you are looking to make a suggestion to your nanny family for a few new games, here are some of our go-tos:
- Uno & Uno Flip (I found a bunch of Uno decks at the dollar store, and now I have them tucked everywhere – my car, backpack, purse, fanny pack, desk – there’s Uno decks everywhere. Highly recommend – it’s a perfect one for waiting rooms or killing 10 minutes while we wait for siblings to finish gymnastics!)
- Wig Out
- Mole Rats in Space
- Gnomes at Night
- Rat a Tat Cat
- Taco Cat Goat Cheese Pizza
- Charades (get a version with pictures on the cards in addition to words for our pre-reader friends)
- Zingo
- Don’t Break the Ice
Share Facts & Trivia
Do you know how tall the Burj Khalifa is? Do you know which species of shark is the tiniest in the world? If you do, you might be hanging out with a 3rd grader who loves trivia, just like I am. (By the way, it’s 830 meters tall & a dwarf-lantern shark.) Kids love learning about the world around them, and they love sharing those interesting tidbits with the adults around them. Be receptive & excited when kiddos share with you what they’ve learned that day! My nanny charge and I have a fun daily habit built into our after-school routine where at 3:45 PM, he asks me a “really hard question” – often something he learned at school that day – and I try to come up with the answer. I think he really enjoys being the expert in the teacher role for a few minutes, and he really enjoys it when he stumps me! I then reciprocate and ask him a “really hard question” back. Since I’m not quite on my trivia game like he is, I do have a little cheat sheet bookmarked to help on the days I can’t think of something interesting on my own! Even better: learn some new facts together! There are SO many incredible books for kids that are full of interesting info. Head to the library together & check some out – find some about their current interests. Star Wars or Disney, anyone? National Geographic Kids makes big fact books like this one that my nanny kiddos love to pore over.
Do an Experiment
If you’re hanging with an older elementary schooler on a day without school, I cannot recommend enough scrounging up the materials to try out a few science experiments! Of course they are super fun and connection-building, but science experiments are also a great chance for modeling some of these life-skills we try to teach, like being flexible and resilient when things don’t work on your first try, cleaning up after yourself, making predictions & thinking like a scientist! Plus, parents love seeing their kids do hands-on science (and they really, really love it when they’re not the ones doing prep & clean-up)!
A quick Google search will show that there are truly countless science experiments to try, but here are a few that have been hits for me in the past:
Do Open-Ended Art Projects
When I take care of younger children, I’ll often bring a themed craft or art project, but I’ve found that older kiddos really enjoy being given some supplies & a starting point, then being left to create their own masterpiece. My absolute, number one open-ended art project is to bring a giant cardboard box (never throw out a giant cardboard box!!) & to let them go crazy with paint, markers, Kwik-Stix, tape, yarn, wrapping paper – anything we can find in the art center, and support them while they make their creation! Giant cardboard boxes are a hot commodity over here and have been turned into all kinds of things: independent reading zones, calm-down spaces, grocery stores, stuffed animal houses, space ships, castles – anything & everything!
Kids love having their own thing (even when it’s just a cardboard box) that they have total control over – how to decorate, who can go in, what stays out, where it goes, etc.
Read Together
One of the absolute highlights of my career has been teaching kids how to read – whether I’m helping a little one identify letters or coaching an older child on comprehension skills, I love spending time supporting kiddos while they learn to read.
While we all know to read to littles every day, often, around 1st or 2nd grade, when children begin being stronger independent readers, we sometimes stop reading to them. Sure, quiet, independent reading is a skill, but don’t forget to read to and with the older kiddos in your life, too! I’ve written before about how going to the library weekly is a big part of our routine and because of that we constantly have new books floating around. I love walking into my nanny kid’s bedrooms to see their floors, beds, & tables all covered with books. Take some time to read with the older kiddos in your care this week – it happens less & less often for them as they keep growing. Choose a book together, maybe just above their reading level, and read to them. Don’t make it stressful, don’t make them sit down & listen, but if you have a little extra time, just get cozy and start reading! They will come to you! Bonus? Reading aloud to kids boosts their fluency!
Don’t underestimate the power of the perfect picture book, even with older kiddos. If you’re having a hard time knowing how to broach a conversation, open it up with a book. There’s a great kids’ books for any tough topic out there from divorce, mourning, friendship troubles, body positivity, racism – anything & everything. A few favorite of our favorite books lately? This is How We Do It, The Wild Robot, and Like Pickle Juice on a Cookie.
Practical Life & Contributions
In Positive Discipline, we avoid rewards & sticker charts. The expectation is that everyone contributes to the house, and as a nanny who does some household management as well, I always have plenty of jobs to do around the house and am happy to have a helper! I’ve shared before why I spend time making sure my nanny charges can do things for themselves – it’s very important to me that they are self-sufficient adults someday, but for right now, I really just love the connection that comes from working on something around the house together. Kids are so capable, and I can easily forget that and get swept into doing things for them because I’m at work! A way better move is to involve the kiddos in what you’re doing and normalize everyone pitching in. I regularly ask for help with doing the laundry, putting dishes away, vacuuming, wiping counters, taking out the trash & recycling, getting the mail, pet care, and cleaning up the playroom & their bedroom. It’s a natural connect-builder to complete a task together, and a genuine “thank you” for their help puts a nice bow on it!
Chat
My last tip is to have a genuine, focused chat with the older elementary schooler in your life. Some days, the first time I’ll see my older-elementary-schooler nanny charge is when I pick him up from school for the day. I have to bite my tongue to stop myself from asking him a million questions when he hops in the car – I’m genuinely excited to see him & curious about his day! But I know that comes across like I’m grilling him and only shuts things down, so, counterintuitively, I actually try to stay a bit on the quiet side when I do pick-up. I have snacks ready & waiting for my nanny kiddos & music playing, and I let them decompress a bit before we get real chatty. I am typically someone who fills the silence, so it’s a practice for me sitting in the quiet car. They will start the conversation when they’re ready, and then my job is to extend real active listening once they’re ready. I repeat things back, ask meaningful questions, and stay focused on what they’re sharing. The car really is a great place for a conversation, and we do end up frequently having deep conversations about friendships, school stressors, goals & dreams, and all kinds of things. Sometimes kiddos, especially these older kiddos, will bring up tough topics – changing bodies & relationships, even philosophical or moral questions. You don’t have to know the right thing to say! It might be a boundary you aren’t comfortable crossing and need to direct them to their parents for further discussion. That’s all okay! I always give my nanny family a head’s up if we have an interesting or spicy conversation. Don’t underestimate how bonding it can be to have a genuine, friendly conversation with the kiddo you’re caring for.
If you’re working with a new family or if you’re struggling to get your connection back on track, there are tools you can use to help break into a conversation! My nanny kiddos love hearing stories about how things were different when I was a kid. They love hearing about relics from the “olden days” like phone books and VHS tapes. There are many different conversation starter questions to ask kiddos, and I have yet to meet a child who doesn’t enjoy digging into some Would You Rather questions.
How is the connection you have with your older elementary school-aged nanny kiddos? Did any of the ideas above stick out as something you might try this week? As Bridgett Miller says so well,
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