Eps 381: Self-care to Empower with Nikita Burks-Hale

What does Joyful Courage Mean to you?

Joyful courage, to me, means living life colorfully – living it the best you can in that moment because in that moment, that’s all that matters and all we have.

 

Resources

Headphones and Crayons 

Headphone and Crayons Podcast 

Nikita’s 8 Minute Coloring Break 

Headphone and Crayons on Instagram

Nikita on Instagram

Headphones and Crayons on TikTok

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Transcription

SUMMARY KEYWORDS
colouring, colour, feel, space, work, moms, kids, people, creating, talk, voice, folks, nikita, realising, doodling, sheet, teenagers, nursing, crayons, listeners
SPEAKERS
Casey O'Roarty, Nikita Burks

Casey O'Roarty 00:05
Hey, welcome to the joyful courage podcast a place for inspiration and transformation as we try and keep it together, while parenting our tweens and teens. This is real work people and when we can focus on our own growth, and nurturing the connection with our kids, we can move through the turbulence in a way that allows for relationships to remain intact. My name is Casey already I am your fearless host. I'm a positive discipline trainer, space holder coach and the adolescent lead at Sprout double. I am also the mama to a 20 year old daughter and 17 year old son walking right beside you on this path of raising our kids with positive discipline and conscious parenting. This show is meant to be a resource to you and I work really hard to keep it real, transparent and authentic so that you feel seen and supported. Today is an interview and I have no doubt that what you hear will be useful to you. Please don't forget sharing truly is caring. If you love today's show, please pass the link around snap a screenshot posted on your socials or texted to your friends. Together we can make an even bigger impact on families all around the globe. I'm so glad that you're here. Enjoy the show.

Casey O'Roarty 01:24
Hi everyone. My guest today is my friend Nikita Burke's pale Makita is the CEO and chief colouring officer at headphones and crayons a space for integrating voice sound creativity and colour makitas passion and magic lie in creating and facilitating programmes, workshops and colour centred experiences that spark creativity boosts productivity and increase your calm one cran at a time. Nikita is also the host of headphones and Kranz, an art infused podcast that explores the integration of voice sound, colour and creativity and its relationship to business human potential and yourself when she's not facilitating podcasting or colouring. You can find her making memories with her wife Jessica and her two young kids Adonis, and Remy. And I just have to say, add a little extra here and Nikita, you are such a magnet. The last time I saw you was in Phoenix at the Shi podcast live conference and walking into the exhibitors Hall. Like there's just something about you that draws me towards you. And I enjoyed so much sitting with you and chatting with you just about what you've had going on in your work and life. And I'm so glad that you're spending time with me here on the podcast.

Nikita Burks 02:47
Thank you, I am really excited to be here. And I also remember that memory of being in that big space and seeing all the exhibitors within folks just crowding around my table. And I think it speaks to that magic and that magnetic in the colorfulness that I bring up.

Casey O'Roarty 03:03
Yeah, yes, for sure. For sure. So tell us more about your work. Tell us about the ways you interact with others and bring that creative, colourful magic to their lives.

Nikita Burks 03:15
Yeah, so my work is truly based in creativity and colour. And colour meaning literally as in colouring with crayons, markers, pastels, etc. And figuratively taking the lessons of life and how they have coloured our perspective coloured our view. And so that work is done with different businesses, coaching communities, podcasters, basically the everyday human, and really working with them to pause, listen to their inner voice, make space for creation, and then just be and do them with joy, of course.

Casey O'Roarty 03:51
And what is the poll? Like when people find you and want to hire you? What are they? I mean, I feel like the question of what is the problem they're trying to solve isn't the right question. But basically, like, what are you serving them with?

Nikita Burks 04:05
Yeah, so when folks come to me, they come to me figuring out and confused about themselves. Like I feel stuck. I'm not sure. I know. I meant for more. I know, I want to do more, but I'm really just feeling stuck. I'm feeling if I were to give a colour like this dark, it doesn't necessarily mean black or brown or but this dark colour with no emotion. I'm feeling thick, I'm feeling heavy. Think of just paint drying. And that process. And what they're looking for is just space and freedom.

Nikita Burks 04:41
And when they come to me, like what is this colour thing like I've always talked to you, I'm always drawn to you and you colour like what is that? And how can that help me? And so that kind of takes us on this journey of them looking into themselves looking around the world and saying what is it that you want outside of what at

Nikita Burks 05:00
People expect outside of your expectations, what do you truly want in need? Listening to that answer, giving that answer a colour. And then from there, we just found this really cool work of expanding their lives and looking for that colour in everything that they do.

Casey O'Roarty 05:18
I love that. I love that. And on your website, I was poking around a bunch yesterday, on your website, your mission is to create safe spaces, cultivate positive work in school environments, and reprioritize self care in the world. And doing it one colouring session at a time. So you just gave us a little glimpse inside of that. And one of the values you have a bunch of values that your work holds. And one of them that I really appreciate, that you share is speaking and creating with authority and expertise. We have claimed this space and are holding it for you to explore and amplify your voice and its power. And this really pulls me in on a couple of different levels. On one hand, the female mother perspective, most shout out to all the dads that are listening right now, I know there's a handful of you. And most of my listeners are women and moms, most of us have teenagers, which means we're hitting that mid age, which is so wild. And so really thinking about using my voice using our voice and claiming space in a world right now that feels so violent for our children, and holding space for our teenagers to realise, explore and amplify their voice. I just really was sitting with this profound possibility yesterday. So I want to know, when you think about your vision and your mission, what shows up for you, when you consider the power of what you're declaring.

Nikita Burks 07:07
So thank you for doing that work and looking into those values, because then it's most also first page and then what can you do for me and keep going so that shows how amazing and awesome you are as a person anyway,

Casey O'Roarty 07:19
thank you very much.

Nikita Burks 07:22
Thinking about the voice what really comes to mind, especially I have two littles and they're super little. So at the time of this recording, they're two and five. Life is real right now.

Casey O'Roarty 07:31
Yeah, you're in. And while I'm in like 10 years, I'm here for you.

Nikita Burks 07:36
Exactly. And so really looking at this idea of voice, and knowing that voice is something that can be heard, and also something that can be seen. So folks who know me or who are around me, I'm not the most talkative person. I'm one of those that when I do talk, people listen. But my vibe, and my energy speak way before I open my mouth. And so really, when I work with you, telling them and talking to him about your voice isn't only what you say, your voice in the values and how you live and how you show up in this space, and how you feel the energy coming from you. So that mental health aspect, if you don't feel good, it's going to be felt, it's going to be seen in how you look off into space, how you don't speak up, how you are maybe selling all the clothes that you choose to wear. And so really taking this idea of creativity and colour. And using that for voice again, in addition to speaking because part my background and my pastime was broadcast production. And so really Amplifying Voices, but now incorporating creativity. How can you do that? If you never see a work?

Casey O'Roarty 08:49
Yeah. Oh, man, Gen Z man. They are masters, right? We can all learn from them. I feel like the self expression that is alive in this generation of kids coming of age, I guess isn't the term Yeah, they are speaking loud and proud without even opening their mouth. So I love that. I love that. And I love thinking too about boys as what we say and what we don't say I'm definitely experiencing that. In the work I'm doing in my relationship with my husband. I say so much when I don't say anything at all.

Nikita Burks 09:33
The silence is very loud.

Casey O'Roarty 09:35
Yeah, for sure. I definitely appreciate that. And then coming back to the power that we have. As mothers. You know, at the time of this recording, we're coming off of like, four days of Unreal gun violence. I mean, it's always unreal. It's always unreal. And it's been knocking On the wrong door, turning around in the wrong driveway, approaching the wrong car, having your basketball roll into the wrong yard, and I am continuing to be drawn in to the Moms Demand Action Group. Yes. And as an the 10,000 feet view really seeing the power that a group of women, specifically in this context moms can have, and hopeful, because there's no other choice, right? Like, we've got to be hopeful that as we continue to gather voice, like this, I can't I mean, I have friends. I'm sorry about the tangent right now. But I have friends in Australia who are like, what is happening? What is happening in the United States? Like, how can you even send your kids out of the house? And, you know, realising literally, with that question, like, Yeah, I mean, I do send my kids to school, I do send my kids outside of the house, and I'm not riddled by, like, worry that they're going to be shot, which part of that is my privilege, right, as a white woman, but also bucking normalcy that has taken over around this sick, sad situation with gun violence. So coming back to voice, right? And recognising, thank you for going there with me, Nikita, recognising the power that we have is so important. Right? It's so important. What are your thoughts on all that?

Nikita Burks 11:31
Yeah, and you were just talking about with moms demanding action, taking the 10,000 foot view. And I love to think of myself as taking that very, like bird's eye on the ground interview. Because as someone who carries many identities, a lot of folks that I walk into the room and they see, so I am a African American slash black woman in a big body that I love. And if I'm with my wife, and my kids, it just further gives depth for what I am. So often I walk into a space where I don't have power, point blank. And so in a way to reclaim my power, how can I do that if I'm not able to use my voice, if I don't feel safe to use my voice? And I say this, talking with moms, because how often does that happen with kids. And so I'm doing a lot of work right now, with either going into schools, or I'm even doing like, work with parents of let's do a quick family colouring session where you have the colouring sheet brief. And you are literally just colouring and breathing and saying, Tell me how you are. How's this word, breathe, breath, making me feel what's coming up in this really intentional, small conversation is going to have huge ripples because we're creating space to be to let go because school at one point used to be the place where teachers would get all of this information kids will tell about home life, but kind of that fear of safe space from home. That's not the case anymore. And so now we're coming back to the home is really, we're trying to make that true safe space, because so many places outside of the door, are not. So using this space to amplify the voice of I'm a mom, I want to hear how my 10 year old how my 13 year old is doing not only on the bad days, so not only when bad things and heavy things happen. But also on a Saturday morning after we just got pancakes and cook breakfast together. Let's colour for a little bit. How are you with the colouring sheet joy, let's bring you joy today. What do you want to do after so using that to amplify voice in call as well.

Casey O'Roarty 13:39
I love that.

Casey O'Roarty 13:48
So I just recently was on a call with a client My background is I'm a positive discipline trainer. That's the foundation of what I bring to my coaching to my classes. And I was recently talking to somebody because my people are parents of teenagers, a lot of the clients I work with are just like learning about positive discipline and realising okay, this control and command model that I've kind of been using up until this point, it is backfiring. Now it's not useful with this 15 year old and there's a lot of anger. And there's a lot of pushing away. And I was talking to this one particular mom and I found myself saying, you know, positive discipline, just like what you just said. It's not. This is what you do in the crisis moment. This is how you be all the time, this connection. And this opening this open invitation for our kids to self Express, even when it's hard for us to hold even when it's contrary to our values like holding that safe space at home I think is it I mean it is the path to world peace. Because I feel like people that come out of homes where they are valued, and they are seen, and they are accepted, walk into the world with a different sense of self. Right without having something to prove without being hungry for external validation, and the different energies surrounding them. So, and I love the colouring, especially when we're talking about teenagers. And I want to know more about your journey to colouring like, where did this all come from for you. But before we go there, like we talked about how having hard conversations with teenagers be in the car, right be in the car, so you're not looking at each other, right? Or sit around a table have something else to do that's passive enough, that you can still be in connection with each other without that intensity of, you know, eye contact and facial expression. And you can kind of shed that and hold a space of communication that can feel really safe, a lot safer for teens to be willing to share their true and authentic voice. But how did you get into colouring? What's that story?

Nikita Burks 16:16
So before that, yeah, just speaking in that's me choosing colouring was very intentional with folks, especially working with teens and youth, because there's not that iconic. Anytime I go into the schools, whether it's Elementary, Middle High School, or colleges, the first thing I say after introduce myself, I say if this is the last time you looked at me, for the rest of this session, I am totally cool with that. That means I've done my job. And the fact that they can look down but then like, feel out? Yeah, while they're colouring, it just completely shifts the dynamic and you just feel the release of breath, because then they can just shout out loud or just talk. And they don't have to look and think about Oh, what am I saying? How am I saying it, they're going inward. So that is a very intentional action that I choose colouring and whatnot for so. So the journey to colouring and I know a lot of moms were late. So it actually came from a really dark place. After my second was born, where me, she was beautiful and amazing and brought with her postpartum depression and anxiety. It was pretty severe. And there was a point, it was like three o'clock in the morning. She was still nursing. It was like two in the morning, my son was still getting up three, four times a night. So there was at 20 minutes when she was down before she was getting back up to nurse. I just got him back down. I was sitting in the living room and I was just numb. And I was like, I don't think I can do this anymore. I don't think I can do this mom thing out of this life thing. I don't think I can do this human life. It was a really, really dark moment. And I remember just looking in the living room with stuff everywhere, because a newborn and a toddler should everywhere. And seeing a broken crayon, like by the TV, and just getting that crayon getting a pass through bill, flipping it over and literally just colouring back and forth. And I wasn't like colouring a You are a beautiful affirmation filled picture. It wasn't the joy colouring page. It wasn't the joy colouring page or the You are awesome or any of that it was just going back and forth. And I just remember just zoning out for 20 minutes. I guess it was 20 minutes, I don't know. And coming back and I think I can do this. I've got a little bit more hope. I think I can do this. And that moment of what happened. What was that shift? And in that moment, I was just able to be I didn't have to think about what boob I need the nurse on the next one pumping schedule, what my son what daycare, I'm going to put in links and get kicked out to daycares because of big fields when you got a new liberal in the house. Yep. How am I going to do all of this and run a business? I didn't think about any of that. And in that moment, I was just colouring and asking myself, What do you need? What is there? And it was just silence. And that was okay. And so that's how I started colouring because I realised it wasn't about colouring. It was about creating this space to ask those questions which happened to be through colouring. And so that's what I do now, just colour and ask myself encourage folks who are in my space in my community. What's there? What are you feeling? If we're colouring the colouring sheet on ourselves? What does that mean for you right now in this moment, what comes up when you hear those words and creating the space to explore to figure out what that means in that moment for yourself? And then from there we can say okay, I would keep that going into reality back into reality. How could this become our reality because it shouldn't be either or life should be integration and not taking off this hat and that hat, you should just be going through life as you are in that moment. Good, Bad neutral, all of it. So that's how I got started. And that's kind of where we're at right now.

Casey O'Roarty 20:15
Ah, you just took me back to those early days of nursing and nighttime. Yeah, those are some long hours. I remember, both my kids nursed for a long time rollin for three years, and for two and a half. And there was like a three month overlap of the two of them. For some reason, there's a lot of pictures of me with both my boobs out nursing, giant kid and the new kid love it. Yeah. And I'm connecting with the meditative process that opens up with that the act, the movement of colouring. And I know a lot of people have a hard time with meditation. So it feels like this is a nether doorway, to calming the nervous system for an extended period of time, which is yes, part of the beauty of meditation, but also that contemplation, I'm hearing you talk about the joy sheet and the breathe, she obviously it's intentional, talk a little bit about the intention that you bring when you're working with people and what any stories you have of what has come up as you've led people through the process that you've created.

Nikita Burks 21:36
And so if you've never been in my space, and you find yourself into my space, then you will usually come through the eight minute colour, which is essentially a colouring meditation where you are hearing my voice and a lot of folks say I have a very soothing voice. So I believe that to you do. And so that's why I have this colouring sheet that says brief. And you're literally colouring listening to me take you through this eight minute kind of colouring meditation. And the purpose of it is really just to relax and let down the guard. When I'm working with specific folks, and I asked them, like, what do you need right now, if it's for the podcast, my guests literally choose from a list of words, and it's whatever words stand out to them. It really resonates with them. In the moment, I make all the colouring sheets, I have a few colouring books. And they are just words that evoke different things, and choose words and statements that can be neutral, or can be flipped. So it's not always positive. Because often what we do is we want to focus on all the joy like how can I get more joy? How can I get more joy, which we love. But in order to do that, I need to know the things that are not bringing me joy. So like my first colouring book, I am colouring books, as I am tired, I am weary, but I am still going in. That's what matters. And that's literally what the colouring sheet says, I have some for podcasters that are just like my cover is just the beginning, one episode at a time. So the simple statements resonate for all. And the point in doing those is that so that you get the it's not just about the word, but it's the feeling and what you placed on it. Why does that resonate with you? Why does one episode at a time as a podcaster. And as a mom resonate? Because every day is an episode of a mellow dramatic soap opera.

Casey O'Roarty 23:28
We're all stars of our own tele novella.

Nikita Burks 23:33
So that phrase resonance, and allows you to think not just in one way, but again, how it all integrates in as part of the bigger picture.

Casey O'Roarty 23:45
I love that. And especially, you know, I mean, it's true, even though my kids are 17 and 20. And your kids are two and five. I feel like adolescence and the early years mirror each other so much in the relentlessness shows up. I think we have a similar experience of the illusion delusion that Okay, great. We've moved past X, yes. And now we can be at y but it's not linear. It's like we learned a little bit about it today. It looked like perhaps we moved through it. But it turns out here we are in different contexts. And that struggle. That skill is still in development. I love that you connected your work with podcasters to just motherhood because yes, one episode at a time, one day at a time and even like, you know sometimes I remember when I worked with specifically with people with younger kids when my kids were younger. I've kind of evolved as my kids have gotten older. You know having to do Just break it down to you know what, we had a great morning, like no longer holding ourselves to an entire day of greatness. But like, what was the morning? Like, what was pickup? Like, what was bedtime like? And I think as our kids get older, it's really easy to, because they look like they should have their shit together. Like they're big and, you know, minor. I mean, I'm watching my 20 year old, just completely transform from, you know, the teen to a young woman physically and the curves and the way that she's holding herself. And yet she's still 20 years old, like, Yeah, and so it's easy to kind of get hooked by the physical and then feel a certain way about where they are developmentally, emotionally, one episode at a time, like one day at a time, when challenge at a time. And coming back to what is the space I'm creating? Is the space, I'm creating one that my adolescent, or even my two or five year old, maybe the five year old? You know, is it one that when I say how are you doing? Do they feel like, I really am able to hold what they're gonna bring me? You know, and I think actually, I think in the adolescent years, it gets even harder because they have more complex, like the complexities of what they're holding and what they're navigating, you know, there's this idea, this kind of flip attitude about teenagers, you know, their brains aren't fully developed, they don't know what they want, they're impulsive, and it pisses me off, because it really diminishes and dismisses how complex and wonderful and interesting and confusing and, like dynamic, we all are at that age of life.

Casey O'Roarty 27:09
So to have a vehicle like colouring to have this process, where we can drop in, is profound, Nikita, it's profound at the dinner table. And I can only imagine so as you have taken it out into communities. You know, have you seen it as a process for groups or organisations to have sticky conversations and be able to maintain open ears and open hearts? Tell me about that?

Nikita Burks 27:44
Definitely. So I'll start with organisations and then I'll actually get right down to moms because I am an assistant coach in a Montessori community, and we do colouring all the time. So out in there,

Casey O'Roarty 27:55
I want to talk to you about I have some ideas. Yes, for you

Nikita Burks 27:58
definitely. Love to yes. But for businesses, it was really interesting in the beginning for me, like how do I bring this to businesses? I know what the work, but it's how did this happen? How does it work? And it was this conversation of businesses are made up of people. People need to talk about what they feel who they are. And so a lot of my background is in the DEI space working with

Casey O'Roarty 28:23
folks say what D AI means just yet the people that are unclear,

Nikita Burks 28:28
yes, so diversity, equity and inclusion. So really working to bring equity where everyone feels honoured accepted, safe in communities and spaces. And so going into the work world, it was these words and conversations of you have folks who they feel like they're the token person or just don't feel included. Let's talk to those people. And instead of bringing them into the office and saying, Tell me why you're not happy, let's do something different. Let's have a luncheon. And this is a fun team building activity where you're going to talk about we can do life is good.

Casey O'Roarty 29:03
Oh, you didn't want to do don't be a dick. Exactly where

Nikita Burks 29:07
they were very happy about that one if I didn't show them that one. But like life is good or productivity, actually, I did a colouring sheet productivity. And so folks, like why are we calling about productivity? And I started off with what does it mean to be productive in your work? What does it mean to be productive as a human? And what it does is gradually open this conversation of, you know, being to work on time doing KPIs to, you know, actually, I've got two small kids at home. And so sometimes productivity may depend on how much sleep I have, how the morning is going. You know, there's a lot going on in the world today. And sometimes productivity is based on how we feel how I feel. And the C suite hearing. This is like, Oh, these are people that affects me, too. It's like, yes, and but it's from this team builder or this one off, that then becomes this entire curriculum, which I'd love to do with folks, working with them. And you were just talking about how you have the teenagers and the young adults. And we want to create the space for them to be able to be open and speak. And we work so hard at that. But the biggest surprise my mom clients have had is that it starts with them first. You can't just go up and say, I want you to have the safe space. Talk to me. Please talk to me. I'm asking you all the time to talk to me, you're not talking to me? Are you talking to them? And not necessarily like your most child is my best friend. But this colouring creates a space that's two sided, where you can also share, like a lot of people think that teens that you should have it together. A lot of people think I have a mom should happen together, and I am one trip off a curb and flipping my shit and then they go into hell. And so the same things that we say about teens how they're impulsive, and they make these rash decisions. We do the exact same. Yep. And so how do you create this space to say that so folks can see that we have the same experiences? We're not Mr. Equal. But my child, my five year old, and me had the exact same experiences one because we're a lot alike, and that impact, miss. But then how does that look? How can we create a space that we can both talk about this? We can both say how we're feeling within reason, of course. And that's what I love to do with? And the biggest surprise for my moms is that, yes, you're creating the space for them. But the only way to do it is through you first.

Casey O'Roarty 31:31
Yeah. And I imagine that the process, the colouring process also offers this opportunity for listening. Yes. Right. Like your conversation about organizationally, being able to hear from a non defensive place, right. Like it's like taking the side Dorian. Yes. And I really appreciate that. And I was just thinking, so we one of their my favourite positive discipline tools that I've talked about on the pod and talked about in my classes is family meetings. And I'm thinking to myself, my son is usually the recorder. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Mostly it became it came out of me being too controlling. So I no longer get to be in charge of the family meetings. I used to participate. And he doodles all over our sheet. And I'm just thinking, sitting here thinking and listening to you. And I'm thinking like, wow, what might it be like to bring a colouring sheet with some kind of theme, go into a family meeting? And just have that be what's on the table? While we are moving through our process that we know really well. We've done it for a million years. And how might that shift, because I full transparency listeners, oh, my gosh, and is the same kid at 17. During a family meeting that he was at age eight, he's tipping his chair back, he is going off on tangents. He's making googly. I'm like what is happening. So I think that it would be really interesting to play with this. Really interesting to play with this as a an added to our process. So and I love just how deep and layered all of this is right? Like, I think we've all seen, you know, adult colouring books, and you know, created our own meaning around that. But you're really taking us to a new place as far as the tool that it can be for people. So for someone who wants to practice and get into it, you've mentioned your eight minute colouring break. But talk a little bit more about that and include how people can find it. Because it's cool.

Nikita Burks 33:44
Yes. And I love that you said like, this is really deep. And that's just part of who I am. I really have a way with words. And so I get to it.

Casey O'Roarty 33:52
But her energy is I mean, Nikita, like, I mean, I think we initially met when you were helping Sarah Dean with her shameless Montcalm online, and we just were like, emailing information. But immediately I felt your depth like even it comes through emails about like, timing, and just so firming, yes, depth. Thank you. What I

Nikita Burks 34:16
don't want that to do is to scare people with like, Oh, I'm gonna have to have all these deep questions. And I'm just the right things. And literally, whenever I do these sessions, they ask two or three questions, what's their, how are you and just like, Tell me more. And so it can be very simple. Like there's not a whole lesson plan with it. And what I'm working on, which I'm seeing more and more of a need for is like these downloadables, the colouring sheet and two or three questions that you can ask to have these. And so for folks who are just getting started, that colour break is really for you. And it can be for the family. You download it and again, the colouring sheet is brief, and it's just asking you to look at this colouring page. What are the things that you see? Take a breath Like, what is the first thing that you want to colour? Why is that just notice, and then it gives a lot of time to just colour and be silent and breathe. And so what it does that first one is it creates a space to take a breath. Because often when we have these meetings, we won't have these conversations, we have an agenda. It's like, okay, let's talk about this, this, this and this. And we're so invested at it, and other person is like, Whoa, this is a lot. This is too much or automatically, just disengaging. And so it's creating a space where just let the space happen, which is a whole nother conversation of letting the space. That's why I say I create spaces that will teach people how to do anything, I create spaces for all of this to happen. That is my gift. That is my magic. And so I would say for folks get a sheet of paper and just doodle in my colouring community, the colour group, every week, I have a question or I have a word of power. And you can either colour the word, or the picture, or it can say get in a quiet place. Take a couple of breaths. Think about how the word power shows up for you. What does that feel like? What does that look like? Create a visual representation of that. And so we have music and you just literally think about how are your experiences and you just doodle. And whatever comes to mind comes to mind. So I would say start here. Either the colour break or choosing a word, and doodling. And then ask Tell me a little bit about what were you thinking why you were doing. Let me tell you what I was thinking as I was doing that. And from there, it just starts this conversation.

Casey O'Roarty 36:34
I love that and if you the eight minute colouring break, listeners, just so you know, when you sign up for that with Nikita, you get a downloadable, which I love. I'm not as good at doodling, like to me that does not feel meditative. And like all in my head about not being good enough drawer. So I love colouring pages. So I'm excited about your Downloadables. But yeah, in the eight minute colour break, you get a downloadable sheet, and you get an audio of Nikitas yummy voice guiding you. And is there a third thing? No, from there?

Nikita Burks 37:12
No, it just has to and then as a visual. So if you kind of have the time lapse of it. For some reason, colouring isn't your thing in this moment, or doodling you just like I just need to just watch something that actually has a time lapse of me colouring. So you can hear everything and just watch.

Casey O'Roarty 37:31
Yeah, so listeners, this is a great place to start. It's also a really great place to kind of feel out Nikita although all you're going to need really is a one minute colouring break to know that you love her. What else do you want to leave listeners with today just about the process about motherhood about you know, our own private soap operas that were the stars. What would you like to leave us with today and Akita?

Nikita Burks 37:56
What's coming in this moment is that it's a full bodied experience. So it's not about whether it's right or wrong. Of course, we all know that. And also, we're always constantly trying to figure out if we're doing this mothering thing, right? This parenting thing, right? It's about doing it every single day. And knowing that the percentage if we have to do a percentage, but how you do it is going to look different every single day. How much you do it is going to look different every single day. And why you're doing it is going to look different every single day. And it's supposed to. And so as long as you're doing it, which if you're living in you're alive, you're doing it. You're doing it and that's enough, and it only goes up from there.

Casey O'Roarty 38:41
Yeah, it feels like permission. Thank you. Exactly. And what I always end with on my show, when I have guests is the question of what does joyful courage mean to you? Makita

Nikita Burks 38:54
huh Teufel courage to me means living life colour, fully? Fu ll y. And that just as I was saying, living it the best you can in that moment? Because in that moment, that's all that matters. Oh, yeah, aza. That's all we have. So that is what that makes. Thank you.

Casey O'Roarty 39:15
Where can people find you and follow your work and we'll make sure the links are in the show notes listeners, but just take it out loud. Where can we find you?

Nikita Burks 39:23
Yes, all social media and my website is headphones and crayons.com or at headphones and crayons on Instagram on tick tock Makita Burks Hale on LinkedIn. And then the colour break is headphones and clowns.com/colour break. Awesome.

Casey O'Roarty 39:44
Yay. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. This was really fun. I really appreciate you.

Nikita Burks 39:50
Thank you. I just love these conversations because it's a reflection for me it's I hope all your listeners really get something out of it and just remember you got this like little joy Little bit of courage a little bit of colour

Casey O'Roarty 40:10
thank you so much for listening in today thank you to my spreadable partners as well as Chris Mann and the team at pod shaper for all the support with getting the show out there and making it sound good. Check out our offers for parents with kids of all ages and sign up for our newsletter to stay connected at the Sprott audible.com. Tune back in later this week for our Thursday show, and I'll be back with another interview next Monday. Peace.

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