Eps 352: SOLO – Wrapping up 2022

Resources

Joyful Courage Membership 

Becoming Sproutable Series Playlist

Alternatives to Punishment Playlist 

Episode 315: Ian’s Back Sharing Truth About His Screen Time 

Episode 313: The Basics of Family Meetings

Transcription

SUMMARY KEYWORDS
membership, family, parents, feel, year, listen, teen years, podcast, joyful, meetings, moms, life, week, love, courage, grateful, people, relationships, waitlist, unworthiness
SPEAKERS
Casey O'Roarty

Casey O'Roarty 00:05
Well hey there, I'm gonna do a little throwback intro for all of you that have been listening for a minute. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place where we tease apart what it means to be a conscious parent and a conscious human on the wild ride of parenting teenagers. I'm your host, Casey Oh, verde positive discipline trainer, parent coach and Mama walking the path right next to you as I imperfectly raised my own two teens. Joyful courage is about was about grit. It's about growth on the parenting journey, relationships that provide a sense of connection and meaning and influential tools that support everyone and being their best selves. As you listen to today's show. Pay attention to how grit shows up in the sharing. Thank you so much for listening. I'm deeply honored to lead you. I'm grateful that what I put out matters to you. And I'm so happy to keep it coming. If you love this show, please take a screenshot and share it on your social media. Let your friends know you're listening and value the pod. Enjoy the show.

Casey O'Roarty 01:13
Well, hi there. Hi. Oh my gosh. final show of 2022 final show of 2022 My friends. And guess what? It's just you and me. It's just you and me today. No guest bringing it back to the roots. I'm so happy to be here hanging out with you. Today's show is a solo show. It's a little bit of a recap. It's a little bit of launching us into the new year, happiest of holidays, everyone, Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, Solstice, all connecting around the themes of light and love and gratitude and celebration, I hope that it's been a really easy, gentle, tender holiday season. For all of you. I know that there is a variety of things that can come up that make the holiday season difficult. I'm thinking about people in my life, who have lost loved ones in the last year, who have lost relationships, I'm thinking about all of you who may be with kids who aren't in your home for the holidays for the first time, and how that feels being away from family, perhaps for the holidays, or moving through a holiday season with a team that's struggling, right, there's lots of things that can kind of dampen the vibe. And, you know, this is a part of the ebb and flow of life, right? This is the holiday that felt this way. And they're not all going to feel like this. And I just want to honor and acknowledge those of you that are working really hard, that have been working really hard for the last couple of weeks to just keep it together. I see you, and I love you. And you're not alone. And, you know, I hope that you had a lot of fun. I hope there was fun. I'm recording this podcast on the night that myself and my two kids and our new bonus kid all made gingerbread houses. And it was hilarious. And there was a lot of swearing. And we listened to Justin Bieber's Christmas album. And it was fun. It was light. It was silly. Some of the gingerbread houses are a little bit wonky, some of them look really good. And I felt like what was held was we're gonna have fun doing this. And that's what we did. And I'm really grateful for that. So yeah, holiday season, moving on moving towards the New Year. Right. One of the things that I got to do a couple weeks ago is a good good friend of mine, led a manifestation workshop. And it was all about releasing what we need to release for 2022. So that we can call in and create everything we want for 2023. And in a little bit, I'm going to talk you through one of the processes that we went through is a really, really powerful, and I want to offer it to you as a ritual for the upcoming New Year's Eve New Year's Day crossover. Right and by the way, so after the manifestation workshop, I was lucky enough to go see some live music here in town in Bellingham. And guess what, Melissa? If you're listening sweet Melissa walked up to me and said, Are you do you have a podcast called joyful courage and I nearly dropped to the ground. I was like, Yes, I do. Are you having a celebrity sighting? And I'm the celebrity. It was the first time that has ever happened out in public in the wild like that. And it felt really exciting. So Melissa, you completely made my day? By coming up to me. I'm so glad that you did. That was awesome. So that also happened on the same day as the manifestation workshop. So I don't know, was it related? Maybe, maybe not. But there's something to be said for putting things out there, right, like being intentional about calling in what you want, right? So last January, I led a virtual retreat with the moms in my workshop, I think it was a couple days after the new year. And we made vision boards. I prompted everybody, Hey, gather up pictures, symbol, stickers, whatever you want to use, we're going to create boards that represent what we want in the coming year. And so I made one too, and was really fun. We're all on Zoom. And funny enough, one of the big pictures was kind of like a cartoon drawing was of the Earth with a plane flying around it. Another thing was like grass, with money growing out of it. There was some things that had to do with soul care and self care. There were pictures that represent projects around the house that I wanted to make sure got done. There were pictures that just represent the love and connection that I wanted to create in my family. And guess what, you guys, I literally did a lap around the Earth. I did a lap around the Earth. I went around the world this year, was on my board and it ended up happening and I made some money, right, like abundance has shown up we're not rolling around in it, but there's been some ease. For us the membership has grown. Right? I love my membership. You guys. It's my favorite thing. And those of you that are in the membership, I love you. You're gonna hear from some of them later, the membership is growing. There's been tons of personal growth. Over here in my personal relationships and my professional relationships. The podcast is growing. And there were some epic shows this last year. There were some epic shows this last year. So I'm going to take you back at the beginning of the year when we announced I got to announce with my good friend, colleague, business partner, co founder of sprouted ball, about our merge joyful courage now lives under the umbrella of Sprott, audible and Julieta. And I put together the becoming spreadable series, the playlist will be in the show notes. The becoming spreadable series was the two of us teasing apart the five criteria for positive discipline. And it was so fun to do that because Julieta comes from the sciency early years, arena, and I come from the Purdue I come from a kind of the personal growth, emotional experience, teen years arena. And so coming together in these conversations was really fun. We brought everybody back to the basics of PD, no matter the age of your kids. And that was awesome. And then I also did a series last year early in the year alternatives to punishment. Right, I'll also put that playlist in the show notes. So it's hard, it's hard to shift our mindset during the teen years, if you're just coming into this whole framework of positive discipline, or positive parenting, if you're heading into the teen years, and you know, you want things to be different, and you found this podcast or whatever, you found positive discipline and you're like, okay, great, I'm gonna do it different. And then you try to do it different. And it's like, holy cow. What does this even look like? I can't even feel this out. Or if you're like me, and you did start off with positive discipline, positive parenting, but you got to the teen years and you were like, what is happening right now? I don't know what this is supposed to look like. I feel like the alternatives to punishment. Podcast limited series, is really useful in articulating the mindset of positive discipline during the teen years. And it's really great. Because every once a while, this happens a lot. Actually. I've got parents that I work with that show up to the classes that want to do coaching, and then they have partners who are like, oh, yeah, just tell me what to do or are resistant or just not involved really in the parent education piece. And this is a great playlist to slide over to them and be like, Hey, bud, or Hey, babe, you know, why don't you give this a listen. It really captures what it is I'm trying to do with the kids and give some reasons why. And it's useful. So the alternatives to punishment series. was awesome. I had Ian on. Do you remember that was last year I had Ian on my son, who's now 17. He came on episode 315 to talk about screens. And he drops a total bomb on me about a secret phone. Did you listen, that was pretty funny. I was like, what? So that was a great show. I really love that show. I got a lot of feedback around people enjoying listening to Ian and I banter about his screen use on that show. I also offered up this last year, another popular show that I got a lot of feedback around, which was episode 313, about family meetings. How's that going for you? How are those family meetings? We know it's a good idea. And there's plenty of things that get in the way of making it happen. I've talked to a few parents, even in just the last couple of weeks about Yeah, I know, I'm sposta. But there's not a lot of enthusiasm, or I feel like I'm driving it or nobody gets along, or dot.dot.so. Here's what I want to tell you about family meetings as we head into the new year, because, hey, New year, new opportunity to start family meetings. family meetings are meant to work for your family, which means you might need to make some tweaks you might need to play with it a little bit. So that it works out for your family, it might need to unfold differently. We always start with compliments. It's always a thing, we always plan for family time. That's always a thing. What happens in the middle of the problem solving the scheduling the planning, that is up to you. And you get to determine what are my kids ready for? Is this something that would be useful? You get to decide. I had a mom this week say so how do I not feel frustrated and overwhelmed during family meetings? And I said, Man, if I knew that I'd be having a much better time at my own family meetings. But actually, that's not what I said. I said, You know what? Let's think of a different question. So you don't have to feel overwhelmed, right? Like the structure is useful. It doesn't need to be overwhelmed. But we also as the drivers of things like this in our family, it also requires us to do some work around beginning with the frustration because rarely do I make it through an entire family meeting without some level of irritation, right? Because I have a vision. I know how I want it to go. I know how I want people to participate. But there's three other people in my family that are making their own choices about that. For the most part, it's good. I mean, for our family, it's a routine that is a well oiled machine, like they know what to do they know what's expected. It just gets silly, and I get irritated. And so that's an opportunity for me, right? It's an opportunity for me to stay in the process to not let my irritation my frustration, pull me out of the experience and send me into naggy kind of bitchy mom, right, I get to feel it, I get to read through it, I get to smile, I get to loosen up, pull my shoulders back, I get to remember that I always feel like this during family meetings, I get to have gratitude that our family comes to the table and sits down for family meetings, I get to do my work, just like you get to do your work. family meetings are not perfect, they are messy. And that's just how they are. So we get to start by just going in acknowledging that and checking our expectations. Right and keep it simple. You don't need to get all fancy with family meetings. You know, we do the problem solving piece. However, I'll tell you what, every week we talk about chores, that's pretty much the only problem that ever comes up during family meetings. And that's okay, I'm not going to judge that. This space is a space for personal growth for you, for your family. And it's just awesome. When you can connect like that in that structure with consistency. It gives your kids an opportunity to connect to have a voice. It gives you the opportunity what I love to like just drop in reset, you know, be together. Look at schedules. I mean, my kids are older teens, and it is busy over here and I need to have a place where everybody's schedule is written down. And that's what we do it family meetings. So yeah, that was an awesome Show, Episode 313. I went through the basics. So check that out. If you're now thinking you know, give it another try. Listen to the pod. Listen to that episode. I had so many amazing guests this year that I still am just feeling like we're in good relationship. I loved being in conversation with them. Charlotte Avery, Kathy Adams, Dr. Mona Gohar, who talked about skin earlier last year. Are Mercedes Samito Tracy Baxley Dr. Tracy Baxley, I love her. Oh, my gosh, and all the guests this fall. I mean, I feel like a really gave it to you like every Monday, you got to have another interview with another fabulous guest with an interesting topic, I feel so honored to be bringing diverse voices to all of you, so that we can grow and learn together. Right. That's what this is all about. And yeah, the gratitude is off the charts right now, at this time, wrapping up 2022. I just feel like it's been such an amazing year, even with the hard things, you know, some really heavy sickness in my family, one of my parents falling and hurting themselves, like those heavy shit that happened this year, and also, so many amazing things. And I'm just feeling so much gratitude for all of it. So as you move through this last week of 2022, and into the first week of 2023, what's going on for you? Do you sit down? Do you have a ritual where you sit down and get a journal out and kind of take stock in what you did this year, and what showed up what was great what you're celebrating, I encourage you to do that make list, you're amazing, you did things, right, you did things, he doesn't do huge things, doesn't have to be lapping the planet. That's the first time that's ever happened in my life. So yay. But you know, maybe you grew some new house plants, or got a raise or advocated for yourself in one way or another. Or maybe you got better at self regulation with your kiddos, right? What's shown up for you this year, that something that you can celebrate, I am going to share one of the incredible processes that I was led through at this manifestation event that I went to, and this is a teaser, because did I say this already, my magnificent friend who led the event, Karen Collins is a life coach and just glorious human, she's going to be a guest on the show in January. And we're gonna go deeper into this whole manifesting what you want creating what you want in your life work. But today, we're going to do a little pre work, we're going to do a little process that will support you in letting go of what's getting in your way so that you can be clean and clear for all those things you're going to call in in 2023. And I'm going to combo it with some positive self talk. So here's what I want you to do, you're going to need a piece of paper and a pen or a pencil.

Casey O'Roarty 17:43
Once you get that I want you to tune into your higher self. And if that is like what do you even mean by that? How do I access that I want you to think of it as the part of you that observes you, right? The part of you that can see from the outside, like, whoa, having an out of body experience like that you that is looking at you. In those moments when you can see like, whoa, I'm freaking out right now. And I need to rein it in, or you know that part of you that can be outside of your thoughts and can say, okay, these thoughts aren't useful. I'm going to let them go. The part of you that can separate from your experience, and be the one observing it. And if it still feels like I don't understand what you mean, don't worry, just roll with it. This is the part of you that's gonna write you a little letter. And it's gonna start by telling yourself how amazing you are us details. You are so amazing. You have such a depth of love and compassion for your family. You're always striving to be better you tuned into the podcast you care so deeply, tell yourself what you need to hear. Spend a little time there. And then you're going to share you're going to declare all of the things that are getting in your way. All the things that you're going to let go of. So some of what was on my list included, I am letting go of resentment. I am letting go of unworthiness. I'm releasing, feeling like an imposter. I'm ready to release my fear. There are all sorts of other things to relationships, maybe make a list, make a long list of the things that you are done with the useless thoughts, the limiting beliefs, the people in your life that are bringing you down. Right, what are you releasing? What are you done with? So take some time to capture that on that same piece of paper. And when you're complete, I want you to build a fire. Create a safe open flame situation. Okay, it doesn't have to be like a campfire in the woods although that is really especially when that is what you're doing can be a candle, and a pot, right a pot or a pan that you can put your flaming piece of paper in, because that's what you're gonna do. Once your fires going, you're gonna burn that piece of paper, please be safe, you're gonna burn that piece of paper and you're gonna release all of that shit. You're gonna reset, and start fresh and let it go. All right, you're going to move through this ritual for yourself. You're going to move through this ritual for yourself, to clear out and declutter and work towards having space for what it is that you do want. Because we don't want resentment or unworthiness. We don't want fear and worry, ruling the roost. So what do we want? Well, next month, we're going to get a great assignment from Karen, she's going to walk us through it when she's here on the pod. And that will be a process that guides you into calling in what it is that you do want that you do want to create. But first, we got to release some shit. Okay. So let me know how that goes. I love to hear from you. I would love to see pictures of your burning statements that you're burning away that you're declaring you're done with I would love to see some action shots, if you want to post those or just send me an email at Casey at joyful courage.com or something over social media. Burn it, let me see it. I am so honored and grateful every day by each and every one of you that listens to the show, those of you that are in the membership, it's so meaningful to me to know how useful my work is for you. I adore you all. I adore you all. And before I leave, I know I've been talking about this every week on the pod. If you're on the email list, you're gonna get some emails here coming up, but my membership program is opening. Its opening its doors again, on January 1 for the public, the doors are already open if you're on the waitlist, at and it is such a special place. That is my favorite thing that I get to do. And on a call recently, I asked the women, the moms that were with me, I asked some of them to share what they love, and what they're grateful for about the membership and I wanted to share it with you. So here's some of the mamas of the living, joyful, Courage membership.

22:28
It's just an example of what I want more of in my life, more conversations like this more places that I can share what's truly going on for me whether it's great or not so great, and it feels safe. And people are supportive.

22:43
You know, sometimes Wednesday's are a hard long day, but it's something that I look forward to because I know when I get off the call, usually there's a sense of calm. What I am grateful for about this membership is the deep sense of community that I didn't expect to feel so fast. What I really value about the membership is that people can be really vulnerable. I think that's not common. There's not a lot of space, especially around parenting, where you could kind of acknowledge if you really messed up, right, like you could just be completely honest, and people will be supportive of you. I just love your love container darling. It just feels like we're in a big love bubble. When we're all together and you're so masterful, it can be left and then it can be truly deep and beautiful and connecting. But it can be fun. It's just the whole thing dwelling.

Casey O'Roarty 23:37
So amazing, feels so good to hear them reflect on what a useful investment it is for them to be a part of this group. I'm just, again, so honored, so honored, it's such a gift for me to get to hold the space and grow and learn side by side all of these incredible women. If that sounds like you know something you're into head over to be sprouted bowl.com/l J C. And that will take you to a page with more information and there'll be a button there for the waitlist. And once you click that, you'll be getting an email with an invitation to come join us and you'll get early access, so you want to get on that waitlist. Otherwise, the doors will open to the public on the first and an extra bonus that I'm adding to the membership, which is an upgrade or an uplevel. If you want membership plus coaching, you can also book into a 12 session. So it's once a month, our call with me if you're in the membership for 50% off the normal rate of coaching. So that's pretty amazing too. It's pretty amazing. And I'm stoked that I get to offer it because my members are my favorite people that I work with. And I think You should check it out and join us there. So yeah, there's lots of other perks too. There's book clubs, and virtual retreats, and our twice monthly calls. You get to do the six week positive discipline for parents of teens class for free when I offer it to the public, so it's good stuff. It's good stuff. Check it out. Check it out. Check it out. And I adore you. I love you. I'm so glad that you hung in there with me for this last week. I know everybody's busy traveling, maybe I am. What day is it? It's the 26th when the show comes out, so I will be traveling on the plane with my little family, to head to Southern California to see my family of origin. My parents, my siblings, I'm really looking forward to it. So hopefully that'll be smooth and easy. Hopefully your travels are smooth and easy. And I will see you in the new year. So much love. Bye

Casey O'Roarty 26:00
Thank you again for being here with me. If you feel inspired and you haven't already, please do me a favor and head over to Apple podcasts and leave a review. We are always working hard to stand out and make a massive impact on families around the globe. Your review helps the joyful courage podcast to be seen. And it's suggested to even more parents. If the review thing isn't your jam, just snap a screenshot and share it on your Instagram or Facebook tagged joyful courage and I will repost it to thank you thank you. Thank you. Also be sure to follow me on all the places I love connecting with you on social media and check out the membership guys. The link is be spreadable.com/lj See the spreadable.com/ljc It's a year long membership for moms of teens. And it's awesome. All right, friends. All right, here we go. Are you ready? Deep breath in, right into your body. Breathe out. Find your balcony seat for perspective and trust that everybody's going to be okay. We'll see in the new year.