Transcription
Amy Lang 0:00
You know, one of the things I often tell parents is, like, do you freak out on your own time? Like, if your kid comes to you and says, Hey, I had sex and you're like, What the You know, our family values that ain't gonna work out. Families who are super strict like that, their kids have a higher rate of unintended pregnancy.
Casey O'Roarty 0:20
Hey, there. Hello friends. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, a place where we tease apart what it means to be a conscious parent and a conscious human on the wild ride of parenting. I am your host. Casey o'rourdy, positive discipline, lead, trainer, parent, coach and mom walking the path right next to you as I imperfectly raise my own two teens. Joy for courage is all about grit growth on the parenting journey, relationships that provide a sense of connection and meaning and influential tools that support everyone in being their best selves as you listen to today's show, pay attention to how grit shows up in the conversation. And if you're not already on my email list, I want to remind you to join. I pop into my subscribers inbox with stories, podcast, news and offers every week, my hope is to make you laugh, or at least to feel relatable, and to keep you updated on all the joyful courage, goodness, all the things that I am putting together for you. If you're into it, go to joyful courage.com/email and sign up. Signing up now will get you the seven tips for connecting with your teens. I will share with you seven tips over seven days. If you put them into practice, they will make a difference in your relationship with your kids. Each day you will get an action step and a bonus step. If you're feeling like an overachiever again, go to joyful courage.com/email. Sign up and stay more connected. Thanks so much for listening. I'm deeply honored to lead you. I am really grateful that what I put out matters to you, and I am stoked to keep it coming. If you love this show, please take a screenshot and share it on your social media. Let your friends know that you're listening and that you find value in the podcast. All right, let's get started.
Today, I am revisiting my conversation with Amy Lang from the sex ed for parents of teens mini summit that went live in the spring of 2020, Amy is a fan favorite, a listener favorite. She has been a guest on the podcast and is a super great friend of mine. She is my go to person when it comes to questions I have about my teens sexual development. Amy has been a sex health educator for over 20 years, and helps parents of all beliefs talk with their kids of any age about the birds and bees. She is the author of an award winning book, birds and bees and your kids, a guide to sharing your beliefs about sexuality, love and relationship as well as dating smarts, what every teen needs to know to date, relate or wait. Amy's talks and books her online solution center and podcast help parents learn how to talk to their kids about this important and sometimes awkward part of life. Amy is still married to her first husband, and they are getting the hang of parenting their teen son, who actually, I believe, has flown the nest. Yay, go. Amy. She lives in Seattle, Washington, and you can learn more about her and her work@birdsandbeesandkids.com I'm super honored to share this conversation with her today. Enjoy it. Hi Amy, welcome.
Amy Lang 4:08
Thank you for having me. I'm super excited to talk to you as always, yes,
Casey O'Roarty 4:12
so I'm excited to talk to you today. We are going to tease apart boundaries, specifically at home, boundaries and how parents can be thinking about setting boundaries with their kids during this time of hormones and experimenting and dating. But before we get there, can we talk a little bit about how you support parents and figuring out what it is that they actually believe and value about sex, sexuality and relationships?
Amy Lang 4:42
Yes, absolutely, because that is the place we have to start values and what you believe is the absolute most important thing you need to think about and learn about and understand when you start conversations with your kids about sex, and it really doesn't matter how old they are, but it's particularly important. In the teen years, when things get complicated, complicated for them, complicated for you. They were complicated for me and my spouse. And so I think that one of the things we miss when we're thinking about talking to kids about sex is that we're all hyper focused on don't get pregnant, don't get HIV, don't get an STI, right? Yeah, for sure, and we forget to a talk about the sex is amazing. It should feel good. It's a wonderful part of life. And yeah, there are some issues with it, but the first place we need to start for our kids is this is setting them up to know that relationships and sexuality are fun and healthy and good for you. But most of us have baggage around that, and most of us did not get that kind of sexuality education. And so one of the ways to make all that easier is to figure out, like, what do you believe about sex and relationships, and in the broad sense, and then in the like, in the minutia, like, weirdly, we have values about tampons, for example,
Casey O'Roarty 6:00
yeah. Do you mean like, you shouldn't use tampons right away, because you might lose your virginity?
Amy Lang 6:05
Well, there's that nonsense that's nothing. But, well, good, yeah, just checking, yeah, but PS, everyone's hymen is broken by the time they, you know, make it to their sex, their sexy time with something going in. There, anyone who, anyone who has a hymen? Yeah, no. Like things like, Are they healthy? Are they not healthy? You know, should, when should girls use them? Should they use them at all? You know, like, there's an industry like, around, like, financial products, right? So I know that sounds silly, and that really is, like at the tiniest, tiniest, tiniest level of values clarification. So, you know, that's an easy one to start with. The more important ones are especially for adolescents and teenagers, because they're starting into relationships. You know, I remember when I was in the seventh grade, and one of my friends was dating. She was in seventh grade, she was dating a ninth grader, and I think they had sex, and I remember being like, Dear God, right? Like, no one wants most people are not down right? With seventh graders having sex, I
Casey O'Roarty 7:10
remember my friend getting felt up in seventh grade, and that was also like, whoa, right,
Amy Lang 7:15
right? So the first place we need to start, and this is, you know, most of sexuality education is really it's about us. The first place we need to start is like, Okay, how do you feel about young people having sex of any kind? Because it's not just, you know, penis and vagina sex, right? So how do you feel about that? What do you believe about it? And what do you believe, you know, in terms of, you know, a When is it okay? What does the you know, what's the nature of the relationship between your kid and another person? Like, how should it play out, right? Like, do you want them to have sex in your house? Do you want them to have sex in the backseat of a car? Like, how do you imagine that playing out for them? I'm just gonna sidestep and just acknowledge that no one wants to think about their kid having sex. My son right now is in Europe with his first girlfriend, and there aren't having sex. I just figured it out for myself. They are not doing it. So even I am not immune. So those kind of fundamental things like, are you okay with sex before marriage? Most people have sex before they get married. Are you okay with your kid having, like, your daughter being on birth control before she's sexually active like that's something we have to think about if you're parenting with someone else, you gotta sort all that out with them. So
Casey O'Roarty 8:33
what happens when you are someone who doesn't believe in sex before a marriage, and you have teenagers that you think are sexually active,
Amy Lang 8:43
that is such a tough space to be in. And, you know, I think that one of the things that parents forget to do is when they're raising their kids, when they're younger, and they say, you know, we believe that it's not okay to have sex until you're married, they forget to say, why? Like, why is marriage the goal? And, you know, especially adolescents and all adults want to know, like, the reasoning behind that, behind that. And so you need to be ready to say, you know, why is marriage the goal? Just because your religion says it is, is never, it's just never going to be enough. But what is it about waiting until you're married, loving, committed relationship, able to talk to your partner, prepared if a pregnancy happens, right? Like you have to help them see your position. And then the reality is that I can't remember the stat off the top of my head, but I think it's something super high, like 90 plus percent of people have sex, penis and vagina. Sex before, before they're I want to say 2021 22 something like that. So thinking that your kid's going to wait is foolish. I don't mean to be a dick about this, but it's foolish to think that way. You need to think my kid's going to have sex. How do I want that experience to be for them? You know, do I want them to feel really good about their decision? Do I. Want them to be afraid of me if they make that decision. And you know, I know you're listening to this and you're thinking, oh yeah, like, oh shit, my parents didn't know. I mean, some of you are lucky, but my parents didn't know when I was having sex. Speaking for myself, they had no idea, or maybe they did, and they pretended it wasn't happening, but they had no idea what I was getting up to and did not have a ton of guidance, right? So frankly, don't repeat the past like you don't need to do that. There's so many there's so much information, tools and tricks to having these conversations and setting your kid up to be really successful. You Yeah.
Casey O'Roarty 10:44
Well, and I love what you said about sharing the why, and I think that that fits into any of the quote rules or boundaries that we want to create or hold with our teenagers, right and like, whether it has to do with sex and relationships or drug use or driving the car or contributing to household work and chores. I think that what I heard you say is it's important for us to show up to our teenagers in conversation, being clear on the on the why it is that we're asking them to do something or not to do something, or why we we value what we value, and parents of teenagers we really want, and I have to. So this goes back a few years, and I did a very casual poll on my Facebook page. I simply said, What are you? What are your thoughts about boyfriends in your daughter's room or something like, really short little comment like that on my Facebook page, my personal page, and oh my gosh, I have not I think it's the most commented on post that I've ever had. And the first, you know, the initial comments that I got were like, What do you want to be a grandma, and, hell no. And it all just went to, if the boyfriend's in the bedroom, they're having sex. And then my parent educator friend started to show up, and it was a little bit more balanced conversation. And like, well, you know, it'd be important to me to know the boy and like, what are your what are the conversations you're having? And so I know for me, that was like something growing up, we always that was a hard rule at my house, was no boys in the bedroom, period, and so, you know, and then I was confronted, because it felt like it happened, like overnight, all of a sudden, that was a possibility. And I was like, Oh, shoot. What do I? What am I? What are my rules here? What are some of the things in your experience of working with parents with teenagers? What are the things that the parents of teens are freaking out about?
Amy Lang 12:47
That is one of them, and they're not freaking out about it. They're dug in about it. And you know, until you have a teenager who has a partner that you don't know what you're going to do, you know, I remember when I started my I started birds and bees and kids, and I was teaching a class, and there was a woman who had a kid who was maybe in the ninth grade, and she said that when, you know, when it was boyfriend girlfriend, I think her kid was straight, you know, when it was time for the girlfriend or the boyfriend, she was going To let them, you know, let the kids stay over the night at her house. And I remember thinking, Oh, dear God, how terrible. And then what happens? I evolved. And, you know, fast forward, Milo has his first girlfriend, and she stays over, and he's had other, we call them gal pals, that as to separate between girlfriend and, you know, right? So I like scalp house. His gal pals would stay over and, you know, and sleep in his bed with him. And, you know, this is our family values. So if you're having, you know, apoplexy and thinking I'm insane, I just want to kind of piece that apart for you. So first of all, they're gonna have sex. They're gonna do it straight up. Everybody, pretty much does it by the time they're about 17. That's worldwide. So that's a fact. Now, you know, every kid's, you know, not every kid is straight, right? So that's, you know, there's so no risk of pregnancy, there's still risk of heartbreak and some risk of STIs. So that's the first thing. You just need to accept the fact that your child's gonna eventually have sex. That's the first thing. The second thing is, like, we just said, like, if you are hardcore against them having their partner in their bedroom or whatever, what is the reasoning behind that? And you have to be willing to be you have to be kind, right? You have to be really kind about this when you talk about it, because you're gonna set your child up to sneak around. I know people who snuck around. I never had boyfriends, so this never happened. I mean, not because I didn't want them, because I just didn't. And so like, that's gonna lead your kid to sneaking around. That's gonna lead your kid to being at their other their partner's house. And so like, this is something. Saying that I personally believe that this I'm like again. I think we really should, you should really think hard about what do you want your kids first relationship experience to be like, or early relationship experience to be like? Do you want them to be clouded in shame and embarrassment and sneaking and knowing that that you're not trustworthy, right? Because when you say, Fuck no, you can't be in, you can't be here, and that's not a connecting way to be. And I get it, this is weird and uncomfortable, especially if you have younger kids. But if we look at the Dutch who do pretty much everything better than we do, their kids are healthier, they're happier, they have better relationships. They have sex the same age that our kids do, but they do it better. And I'm not talking about physically better. I'm talking about emotionally, socially, culturally better.
Casey O'Roarty 15:50
Yeah, I have to also say in my experience, and you can speak into how it is with Milo, but you know, we all want to have these relationships where everything's out in the open, and we get to have all these conversations, and it's really hard to hear all the things from your kids, like my kids are super open with me, and we talk, you know, nothing's off the table, and I'm available, and I try to be non judgmental as much as possible, even though sometimes in my head I'm Like, Oh my god, I keep it pretty chill. Ish on the outside and it's, it's, it's really hard. Like there's times where I'm thinking to myself, can you just get a little better at being sneaky? Please.
Amy Lang 16:35
Do you ever have that experience? No, because my child is so closed lipped you cannot imagine, like, he will not talk to me. He'll talk to he won't even talk to Carrie. So like, I'm in the worst scenario ever, but his girlfriend talks to me, so I kind of know what's going on through her. She's lovely and, you know, and he does talk, but I had to be super, like, sneaky about it, and ask, like, 30, you know, like, what do people think about just like, getting to talk. But I hear from parents whose kids are really open with them that, yeah, it's like, Oh God, please stop talking. But here I am. I'm here for you. That can be really tough, but frankly, it's better than that, better to have that than what has been going on at my house. And Milo's 19 So, and he's more open to talking to me now, but you know, again, can you imagine having, like, a sexual a sex educator, that in as a parent, and not the kind that is like for grown ups, but the kind that says, oh, Amy in the grocery store, Amy, you're so amazing. Thank you so much. I mean, just awful for him. But you know, you know, it really just comes back to, you know, this for me. So we just talk. I just talked all the time. I didn't care that he didn't want to hear it. I didn't care he wasn't talking back to me like I needed him to have the information, right? And so we talk about it, and we talked about having a scalp house, stay over, having his girlfriend stay over, like we did talk about it, but he already knew that it was we were cool with it. He already knew that. So did you
Casey O'Roarty 18:04
talk to her, the girlfriend's parent? Like, how did that all go down? Or, if you don't want to talk about your own experience?
Amy Lang 18:11
No, it's okay. It's okay. No, um, we didn't talk to I mean, they're old, they're 18 and 19. I have a conversation with her parents. We didn't meet her parents until they the day they left for Europe, which was two and a half three weeks ago. And you know that just, just happened that way. I know that's not very 2020 it's very 1987 which was fine, like she was on birth control. They seemed very sweet together. You know, check in with Maya about how it's going, and he tells me. And so, you know, for me and for my family, that is has been enough. I wish that he was more open with me. And then, you know, I hear you talk, and I'm like, thank God. I don't want to hear about
Casey O'Roarty 18:52
it. It's a double edged sword.
Amy Lang 18:54
Yeah, this double edged sword. But so the thing of it is, is this, like, this is uncomfortable for most parents. Most of us were raised so that we did not talk with our parents about this. Hell no, would there be a boyfriend or girlfriend or partner spending the night? And so the world has changed. There's a lot, there's a different there are different kinds of risks to kids these days, but the world has also not changed. Relationships are relationships. Are relationships. They all, we all do the same stupid shit. We all have the same, you know, we're all beaks and feet at the beginning and just trying to sort it out. So, I mean, I think, like, for me, the big takeaway is, you want your child to trust you, right? Yeah. And if you're saying, I mean, I know, I'm, like, I'm, I'm sorry if people are freaking out, but like, I'm really pressing on this. I'm really serious when I say, consider letting them stay over because it's safer for them. Yeah. I mean, I was having sex in Lithia Park, national, Oregon. Like, that's safe, right? That is not safe.
Casey O'Roarty 19:53
I don't even, oh my gosh. I can't even go back to the places and the people and the oh gosh. Really unhealthy behaviors, and no one, yeah, no one to talk to other than my peers, right, right? And that's the other thing you that your kids can you can either be available to them, or they're gonna go, you know, online, or to their peers who are also clueless about everything. The other
Amy Lang 20:16
thing we need to remember is where they're getting their information now, like most of us did not have the interweb, so kids are getting information from their peers that are getting misinformation from the crap they're seeing online, and then they're sharing that with each other. So if you're willing to be there like in the middle and say, not a thing, yeah, sure, that's a thing, but really not a thing, people don't talk that way, look that way. Really, even regular folk don't think about sexuality in that way. That will help them to feel better about the choices they're making. Yeah,
Casey O'Roarty 20:50
there's this idea, right, that US oldies have that even like as if casual sex wasn't a thing when we were I mean, come on, everyone, let's be real about it. But there's this idea that sex has become this currency, and for a boy to text a girl, she's got to give him a BJ before he'll reach out to her, like, how do you have your finger on the pulse of that? What's going on with, like, the casualness of things like oral sex and and putting out. Is it? Is it really different than when we were young people? Or is it not,
Amy Lang 21:26
it's the same, except they have this quicker mode of communication. So you can say, hey, you know, send me a dick pic. And, PS, no. Straight girl wants to see a dick pic. Do you tell your boys that? But they, you know, the guy might say, send me a picture of your boobs, or if they're, you know, and same sex, same thing, right? So I think the first of all, like that is a reality. And then we've always used sex as a commodity. Girls have always had sex to, like, make the guy feel good or better, or whatever the fuck we were thinking. So again, this leads back to these values based conversations. And, you know, I know we're just talking about how casual sex, it's a thing, right? Like we both had casual sex, a lot of casual sex, I
Casey O'Roarty 22:11
think both of us did, but go on. Yeah, anyway.
Amy Lang 22:16
So talking about, just talking about that and your values around, like, what goes on when that's happening. You don't have to say, like, I bonked everyone I could get my hands on. You can. I mean, I have told Milo that I, you know, I made choices that I'm not super thrilled about. And you know, if you want to look to someone who did a really good job, look at your dad, except he had partners who were crazy. So, you know, there's no winning until me, until me, right? So just talking openly about like, Yeah, this is the thing, and this is why it's so hard. And you can talk in third person, and your kids are not stupid, they'll connect the dots, but they also don't want to know about your sex life. You can talk about your relationship life. That's a really healthy, safe place to go. You can talk about mistakes were made. You know, that's another really healthy thing to talk about that's not going to be too you know, not going to squigg them out too much. But the thing that isn't going to help them is a, saying, Don't do this without good, solid reasoning behind it. B, being so rigid that your child can't say, Hey, we're thinking about having sex. C being so rigid that your child doesn't want their partner to come to your house?
Casey O'Roarty 23:25
Yes, right? God, but you know, I remember being in a situation where I was really, I always want the partners to come to the house. And there were a few partners, the last thing they wanted to do was come meet the parents. And to me, that was a huge red flag. But in my relationship with my teenager at the time, it was like, How dare you not let me spend time with this person before you meet him, right? And he was a dirtbag. So it was like, Well, you know, and it's interesting now that time has passed, and now she's in a partnership with a great kid who we who spends a lot of time at our house, and he hangs out and he sits down to dinner with the family, and we adore him. And I refer back, I'm like, remember when the one guy wouldn't come over, and can you see how that was a red flag for me back then? Isn't it so easy to have someone that's connected to the family? And she's like, Yeah, it is, which is great. It's just really hard in the moment when there's so much angst, anyway, and probably, as I'm thinking about it, that was a, probably a reflection of her also knowing that he was somewhat of a dirtbag. But anyway, that's a little side, a little side note. But the importance of getting to know their partners right, and being a space that's inviting,
Amy Lang 24:40
right? And sometimes it's just not gonna happen. And so you can't, you have to be careful, right? You can't say there's such a dirt bag, why won't they come over? Right? You have to be super duper careful. And you know, one of the things I often tell parents is, like, do your freak out on your own time? Right? Like, if your kid comes to you and says, Hey, I had sex. Sex. And you're like, what the, what the, you know, our family values that ain't gonna work out. Families who are super strict, like that their kids have a higher rate of unintended pregnancy. Like, there's a direct line between those states that have shit sex ed and teen pregnancy. So you have to decide, like, are you gonna be uncomfortable? You're willing to be uncomfortable, right? You know, our good friend ms McVitie says, you know, you have the choice of doing the parenting and have doing the hard work of parenting and having a good outcome, and doing the hard work of parenting and having a crappy outcome. So this is one of those places, and you're not gonna be perfect at it, right? You're gonna you just say I fucked that up. I mean, like, as you can see, I have a potty mouth, my poor child. Let me say I messed that up. Let me say it again. Or I'm sorry I freaked out. Let me, you know, I know you talk about this, but I'm sorry. You free. I freaked out. Let me back up the truck and let me try this again. And you know a couple things too, about teenagers, once they're in, like, eighth, ninth grade. Gloves off. Don't filter. They need everything. They need every ounce of everything, because they're going to be getting it from their peers. And their peers think they know what's what, because of the damn interwebs.
Casey O'Roarty 26:11
Yeah, well, and I'm glad that you said that, because, well, and would you also say because, even as I was speaking about this, the boy that wouldn't come over so that, you know, Rowan was, like, 14 at the time, and now she's 17, and it, you know, I wouldn't necessarily say I need to meet any boy that you're gonna go out with now that she's 17, right? So there is somewhat of, you know, we get to know, we get to be the experts on our own kids, right? And so people that are listening like, of course, you're the expert on your kid, and you get to hold your values, but I really, really, really appreciate everything that you're saying. Amy about that how important connection is, and open mindedness and being available versus this rigid wall of you will not do this, because that is not gonna stop them. It
Amy Lang 27:02
isn't, and it's gonna make the behavior go underground. Yeah, and yeah. So, you know, this is hard. Like our parents were terrible at it, you know, they didn't get us the information that you know, that we needed. You know, I know I made a bunch of crazy ass choices that I, you know, sometimes regrets. Mostly kind of don't, because, you know, I can't do anything about it. And, you know, I'm, and now I'm, you know, healing myself by doing this work. Yeah, I should be healed after 14 years, whatever the hell ever long it's been I've been doing this. I've had done I had birds, abusing kids, um, but Casey, we should talk about, um, you know, we've been talking about penis and vagina sex, sex, quite a bit in straight kids. So the thing we need to talk about as well is that not every kid is straight. And right now, what we're seeing is many, many more kids are coming out as gay, Pan bi, like any number of different ways of being sexual, being a sexual person. And so this is freaking some adults out, and what's happening is that there's suddenly more language, more openness, more broader ways of looking at sexuality. And kids are young, and they are ahead of us all the time, and so they're taking this on. So if you have a kiddo who is telling you that they are bi or pan or some something other than straight instead of freaking out, which can sometimes be hard, because this is something that is there definitely people have different values about it. But if you can keep your poop in a group and talk to them and ask them what that means, and ask them what kind of help or support they need, and stay really calm with it, your kid's gonna do better. They're gonna feel better about who they are, and then your job is to just wait and be kind and be there for them as they explore this part of who they are. And we know there's good, good studies now that show that kids who have 100% parental support, if they are something other than straight, go on to be have the same kind of health relationship, outcomes, drug use outcomes, as any other like straight kid and anything less than 100% we start seeing a um, increase in suicide, increase in all kinds of awful stuff. And so, you know, no one wants that to happen to their kid, and the sexuality stuff is really loaded, and people feel really uncomfortable, but our kids aren't uncomfortable with this. So Right? Your job is to learn as much as you can to stay really calm if they're changing up, if they're announcing their different gender, different different sexuality, that kind of thing, to hang in there and get yourself some help and support so you can support your child. And the number one reason that kids kids who are not straight, that they do so poorly, is lack of parental support well.
Casey O'Roarty 29:59
And I'm looking. Forward to later in the week, when I'm going to talk to a woman named Abby about all of this as well, and we're going to dive deep into it, so listeners, you can look forward to that conversation too. Thank you.
So just to wrap up, when we're thinking about creating an inviting home environment that's supportive of where our kids are at, is there any lingering ideas, thoughts, tools that parents can remember around sharing their values while also being with the human teenager that they
Amy Lang 30:40
live with. First of all, when you're talking about your values, frame it as a question like say, What do you think about this? I was just wondering, or say, What do your friends think about this particular issue? And see what they say. You know, as with all adolescents, you need to look for that spot where they are lucid so you can ask about their friends relationships, those are an easy way to enter into a conversation. You can ask your friends, you know, let your kids like, Do your kids do their parents? Let them spend the night? Like, what do you think about that? What do their parents think about that? And that will lead you into a conversation about it. And you know, teens are super self centered. So if you need to plan what you're going to you're going to say before you say it, they're not going to know. They're not going to know that you wrote yourself a little script and you talked with your friend or your partner about it, and then you said the things because they're not they're just stupid in some ways. So don't be afraid to prepare, and don't be afraid to say to your kids, you know, one thing parents worry about is like, well, I believe it's okay to have sex before you're married. And my partner or spouse, does not believe that it's okay to say, I believe it's okay to have sex before marriage. Here are the things that need to be in place, and here's why. And then, you know, your other parent feels differently, and then it's their job to say, here's the deal and here's why. So you know, I think that the at the end of the day is you just need to open your mouth and admit you're uncomfortable. Say, I don't know what I'm doing, but I gotta say these things, right? And we're gonna learn this together, and I'm here for you. And, yeah, I might freak out, but please remember that's just because you know I love you and I want you to be safe.
Casey O'Roarty 32:15
Yeah, yeah, I love you and I want you to be safe. Safe, physically, emotionally you mentioned early, like heartbreak is so hard. Thank you. Thank you, my friend, for coming on and talking with me. Will you share a little bit with the listeners of the summit about where they can find you and follow your work, because you are an amazing resource. So anyone who's listening who isn't already following Amy all over the place. Take some notes right now. Where can they find you?
Amy Lang 32:45
They can find me in podcast land. My podcast is called, just say this, and it's Q and A style, so you just call in, leave me a voicemail, and then I answer your question on the show. So you can find me there. You can find me on my website. It's birds and bees and kids.com there are books and a blog. I've been blogging since Jesus was a boy, and so there's lots and lots of information there. And then I also have an online solution center, which you can sign up for. It's 15 bucks a month, and there's lots of information there, like more information than on my website and in my blog. Awesome. Thank
Casey O'Roarty 33:19
you so much, my friend.
All right, thank you for listening. I know that you loved that conversation that I had with Amy. I love Amy. Don't forget all the things I'm going to remind you of, all the things, seven tips for connecting with your teens by signing up for the joyful courage newsletter. At joyful courage.com/email what else did I want to tell you purchase all the summits, or whichever ones you want. At joyful courage.com/ 2020, ms plus sign up for positive discipline. 101 the teen years, which is a free workshop at joyful courage.com/pd, Intro again, don't panic. All of these links are in the show notes, so you can just head over there. Do what you need to do. Also be sure to follow me in all the places I love connecting with you on social media. If you're feeling inspired, like I said at the beginning and you haven't already, do me a favor and head over to Apple podcasts and leave a review. I work so hard to stand out and make an impact on families around the globe. Your review helps the joyful courage podcast to be seen by even more parents. And if the review isn't your jam again, snap a screenshot of the show and share it on Instagram or Facebook, tag me and I'll repost it. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. And yeah, that was way too many calls to action, but I'm gonna roll with it. I'm rolling with it. I know you can. Handle it, okay, friends, take a deep breath. Ride it into your body, find your balcony seat for perspective and trust that everyone is gonna be okay. See you next week.
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