Eps 160: Debrena Jackson Gandy supports moms in living their JUICIEST lives!

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Casey O'Roarty 0:00
Music. Welcome to the joyful courage podcast, my friends, yes, a place to be inspired, informed and hopefully entertained on the parenting journey. I'm your host. Casey o'rourdy, parent coach, positive discipline trainer, and even more importantly, mother to two children who teach me every single day about how to practice showing up in a way that is helpful, connected and humble, who also point out when I am not showing up that way, when we choose into joyful courage, we are choosing into rejoicing in the opportunities for self growth and discovery that exist on the parenting journey. Yes, I did say rejoicing in those opportunities, and it's work, but so worth it. The path we are searching for is in our practice. Super grateful you're here to practice with me. Thank you so much for being a part of the community. Enjoy the show. Hello, listeners. My guest today is debrina Jackson Gandy. Debrina is a woman of joyful courage that lives her life by her design. She is a nationally published, best selling author of three books, a keynote speaker, a world traveler, a transformational coach and thought leader, a sacred self care expert, relationship coach and founder of juicy woman University and the love Academy. Debrina is a joyfully married woman of 25 years and counting, and mother of three smart, beautiful daughters, all things debrina, including access to several free gifts. Can be found at WWW dot million dollar mentor.net, I met debrina at mamicon This past spring, and I am thrilled to have her on the show. Hi, debrina, welcome. Thank

Debrena Jackson Gandy 2:05
you. I'm so tickled to be on your podcast. Me

Casey O'Roarty 2:08
too. Yay.

Debrena Jackson Gandy 2:09
Will you please

Casey O'Roarty 2:11
share a little bit more about your journey of doing what you do, my

Debrena Jackson Gandy 2:16
journey of doing what I do? Well, I have the honor of making money from my passion, which first and foremost is empowering women to manifest powerfully in life, love and business and create the lives they desire and deserve. So the way that is expressed is through my keynote speaking like I did at mamicon, where we met through my transformational courses that are virtual and live, and also my elite retreats and live transformational events, and then through my coaching and also book writing. So that's kind of a synopsis of what I do in the world, but it's really teaching women how to live full out and have juicy lives, because I really believe that was what we were designed and intended to be experiencing.

Casey O'Roarty 3:14
How did you end up there?

Debrena Jackson Gandy 3:16
Well, I think it goes back to when I was in elementary school, and I was a very curious little girl, and thank goodness my parents supported that curiosity, I always had a lot of questions for adults. I was fascinated by what determined the kind of life you were living and were experiencing. And how was it some people could create lives that brought them joy, and then others in the same family, same city or on the same street, could create lives that were vastly different. Of instead of joy, constant struggle or suffering or disappointment and frustration. So that's what I started to I guess, my human potential self started to awaken and ask those kinds of self evolution questions at that young age. And then once I was in college, I went to Pepperdine University. And for those who may not be familiar with Pepperdine, it's in Malibu, California, Pacific Ocean sunshine every day and going to school with people who look like supermodels out of the Abercrombie Fitch just to give you an idea, plus, they were wealthy, and so I figured that going to this Eden on the hill, because Pepperdine overlooks the ocean. It's on this gorgeous, lush green hill, going to Eden on the hill with. People that were models for magazines that we all read and came from money. I figured I was going to be encountering the most deeply satisfied and fulfilled people in our country, and I was surprised to find that that was absolutely not the case. And it was very perplexing to me, like, Wait, hang on, hang on, hang on. They have the bodies they have the looks, they have the money, they have the weather, they have the entertainment, they have the they have the they have the fill in the blank. They had it. And there is still dissatisfaction, and there's still the sense of not being fulfilled what is missing in the face of all that is present. And that was really that inquiry was, it was the motivation for my first book, sacred pampering principles. And I talk about pampering the mind, the body and the spirit and the lack of pampering the spirit, and understanding what that requires and what kind of nourishment the spirit requires. Because if the spirit isn't nourished, regardless of all the things we have and the way we look, we are not deeply satisfied. So that is really where the inquiry started. And my life has been. I like to say a Guinea I've been a guinea pig, so that none of what I teach is theoretical or conceptual, but it's actual, practical, implementable, and I know firsthand that it makes a difference. So that's where it probably began, as a as a inquisitive 10 year old, and then the observations I made in college, which inspired the first book, and then really being committed to my life, feeling very differently than it seemed to feel as I made observations, listened to conversations and watched how you know adult women, women older than me, lived, and I didn't want that. And so I said, Okay, how did you get to that place of deep satisfaction and fulfillment as a woman, as a married woman, as a mother, because it doesn't seem like enough of us have figured that out. So yeah, and it's an ongoing journey, but that's what brought me to this place.

Casey O'Roarty 7:13
I love that. Thank you for sharing that, and I love thinking about your little 10 year old self, being in the question and noticing, I mean, because those are some big observations, I don't think there's a lot of 10 year olds that are paying attention to that. So that's pretty profound.

Debrena Jackson Gandy 7:31
I know. I think back in I was like, that's only fifth grade. What was I doing? You know, even wondering about that, instead of, you know, playing with paper dolls or something. Well, I mean, that was happening as well, but I don't think, like you said, most 10 year olds are having that kind of inquiry.

Casey O'Roarty 7:49
You know, when I think back to that time, I do remember, however, so I grew up in Southern California with a lot of privilege, and I remember my dad. My parents were divorced, and my dad would take us on great trips during spring break, and we were going to Hawaii in fifth grade. I was 10, and I remember my friend at school calling me a spoiled brat because I got to go to Hawaii, and it was the first time for me that I recognized all that I was privileged to and began to see that that wasn't everybody's experience. And it's been really interesting, because I think that I started to just kind of so my profound 10 year old thoughts were just simply like, Wow, all I did. I just was born into this family. I, you know, I didn't necessarily do anything to feel deserving of the privilege that I had because of the family I was born into. And it's interesting now, and we're gonna get into self worth and all that stuff in our conversation, but it's also, it's so fascinating how we make meaning as young children and then hold on to that meeting, because that's definitely something that my own personal journey has been around is finding that sense of worth from this place of feeling undeserving of the gifts that were available in my younger years, and now trying to shift that around into feeling like, No, I deserve this. I deserve to take care of myself. I deserve to, you know, like you said the title of your book, I deserve to pamper myself, and however that looks for me. And so I think that there's so much to whether we're having these, you know, no matter the profound thoughts that we're having when we're children and growing up and continuing to notice as we get into teen and college years and early young adulthood, we are making meaning and putting ourselves inside of that meaning. And it can sometimes, it can sometimes, really get in our way, can't it? Oh, yeah.

Debrena Jackson Gandy 9:53
What is so amazing is how, usually, by age nine. So the human software, aka our thought, where which is grounded in a certain combination of beliefs, is really set in those first nine years of life. And if we are not intentional and deliberate about examining those beliefs and in many cases, detoxing from them and replacing them with a different set that will yield more of what we say we want and more of what we say is important, then we will be on that first nine year default mode, and most of us are, because we don't do a lot of talking about beliefs in our culture, only in the last few years, and I started talking about beliefs. You know, when my first book came out, and it was this novel thing, people always talk about behavior, do something differently. What's your action plan? So examining the thought where the decisions made mentally and internally. You know, 2030, 4050, years ago that are still running our lives. That's not an area that we dwell in much in this culture. And there's power in the invisible. And we are a materialistic culture who puts inordinate weight on only what your five senses can interpret. And the spiritual realm is the cause realm, and physical realm is the effect realm. So you can imagine the complications that are going to arise in a culture that struggles to acknowledge beyond what the five senses can take in. And that's exactly what we're seeing now, is the disintegration of many of the fibers of what have been the American culture. It's now coming apart at the seams, because continuing to operate from that ideology is imploding on us. And so when I was looking at how other women were living their lives, adult women, as I was growing up in college, looking at older women, and I mean, you know, only five or 10 years older, all I knew was that whatever all of these women seem to be operating from was flawed and faulty. And it had them struggle with tending to self. It had them experience guilt when they tended to sell. It had them being martyrs. It had them deferring their own visions, or their own vision and their passions in the name of their husbands, in the name of their children. And I thought to myself, the God that made me did not intend for women to be subjugated, and we're living out of order, because all I see is subjugation all around me, and this whole guilt thing when you are self honoring. So I already knew there was a sick, twisted mindset generally in place. If you feel bad about being good to sell, that means you're into a into a masochistic almost existing, which is anti self. And so I'm like, I don't know what all this the fruit of whatever these beliefs are that I see, but I'm not interested in operating from the same roots that produce this fruit that much I knew. And so I call that a lifestyle that is very differently oriented from the one we inherit if left on default, I call that the sacred self caring lifestyle, and it's a completely different orientation than the one we inherit from observation and generational acculturation and all that kind of thing. So that, you know, that's one of the really foundational things I teach in all my courses, is the sacred self, caring woman's lifestyle. And it's a completely different set of premises and beliefs and best principles and thus choices and behaviors. And then lastly, a very different experience, where now we finally start to experience deep satisfaction, fulfillment, more joy, ease, peace and flow. So that is really kind of the platform I come from in all my work, and it all comes back to this. I can be talking to a woman about her business, and there's going to be some piece about the sacred self caring consciousness that's going to come. I can be talking to her about her friendships, or love relationships, family relationships, parenting and the basis of all of those other relationships is the one we have with self that is our building block human relationship. And so when you get that one righted and stabilized and solidified and correctly reoriented, then everything else automatically is. Acquired to adjust itself so, so that is the you know, the new paradigm that you know is my, one of my missions in the earth is to help create a new reality for women to where sacred, the sacred self caring consciousness is now the one that's the majority way that women think,

Casey O'Roarty 15:23
yeah, the default, right? I think it is the new default. Yeah, yay. Well, and I think something, I don't know what happens, but you know, it must be a part of us. My experience of parenting is I didn't realize I had so many issues until I had my kids, because nothing was kind of bumping up against my ways of being until, you know, I have these babies or toddlers, or now teenagers, and so, you know, the the default wasn't necessarily for me, being challenged. And then we become parents. And I think so many of us, when we become parents. It's these. We have these brand new little beings, and we're tasked at keeping them alive and growing them into functioning adults. And somewhere along the line, the idea that their needs come first, we have to put them first, and that, you know, the balance of what we need isn't as important as this little person that we are now tasked to be in charge of. I think mothers especially do this, and then we get so burnt out. And what I loved, what you said in there, was the difference between the being and the doing, and we are such doers, and it's exhausting to

Debrena Jackson Gandy 16:44
a fault. Yeah, and then the other you know, as I was doing the deep dive beyond the behavior that I saw to understand the beliefs that were feeding the behavior, what you just described, the exhaustion, the overdoing, I also noticed that women seem to behave as if they were more responsible for their children than the man they co created them with.

And I don't just mean, you know, like a single mother kind of scenario. I mean, you know, when the father of the kids is who you're, you're married to, and there was still this very imbalanced and unhealthy behavior where you could tell women felt more responsible for their kids, though they created the kids, and they were the vessel for their life, and then even after they got here in the three dimensional world, still operating as if they're only their kids. I've even heard women say, My children. I said, Oh, you're not married. Oh yeah, I am. Well, how about saying our children? And I do that for her to say, My children, her behavior was in line with the my language she used, and so I wasn't interested in that, you know. So the beliefs that would have me feel overly responsible for my kids. We're partners in this. We co created the kids. I am not any more responsible than my husband. This is a joint journey, and that means that the usual mothering behavior, for example, I had to catch myself and not falling into the over syndrome and backing myself out of spaces with my voice meaning Be quiet, and with my behavior meaning allow some space and allow my husband to contribute. That's why our daughters are balanced, because I had to back out of the space and yield so he would have some space to step into. So so often I hear women complain about they want their husbands, if they have a husband to be more engaged, to initiate more, and they do not even realize that if that, if I were able to observe their behavior for a few weeks or even a few hours, I would see behavior that was blocking the husband from doing that, which she said she wanted him to do.

Casey O'Roarty 19:16
I'm totally smiling over here, dabrina, because I'm completely thinking about myself, and it's like, yeah, do this. No, you're doing it wrong, right?

Debrena Jackson Gandy 19:25
And then when we do make space, then we criticize, yeah, and that does not work for the male Spirit, and He will just say, won't be participating again, which is not what we wanted, right? We want to be more engaged.

Casey O'Roarty 19:42
And I love this conversation because, and I've had this conversation in different contexts because it's again, recognizing where we are responsible for the life that we're living, you know, and in your bio, it says, tabrina lives her life by her does. Design, like even that concept that we can be living our lives by design, not by default, not leaves in the wind of circumstance. And you know, oh, look what happened to me, instead shifting our lens and starting to recognize that life is happening for us, and the way that we respond to life absolutely influences the life that we're living. I just, I love this conversation. Well, the

Debrena Jackson Gandy 20:27
response, there's huge power in the response versus the reaction, but also the notion that we have the drafters pin in our hand and that we can, I'll use this is a verb architect our lives is not even, you know, contrary to all the pop positive psychology culture believe you can envision it, but in our heart, our beliefs that were fed are contrary to that. And if you look at the power of beliefs, they will always win out over will. So it doesn't matter what your ears hear. If you have some core human thought where you're operating from beliefs that are contrary to that, you know those popular concepts, then your beliefs will always win. So, so you can say to the average woman, do you know that you are equipped to be the architect of your life? Oh no, there. You know my family. Oh no, my kids. Oh no money, oh no, oh no, no, no. So the truth of the matter is, the is the conversation most of us are living from is not that, you know, we are masters of our destiny and all that fluff, the actual execution is based in we feel limited. We do not feel like we're architects, and especially if we have kids, forget it. We think that any architecting just went out the door. And so it's the response piece, but it's also going way, way back to our very core premises from which we're even living our lives, which inform us about what we believe, about self, and inform us about what we how we think life works, and even God. And so we have to even go back beyond just recognizing we are. We have the power to respond and choose the meaning we assign. I'm even rolling it back further than that, to some core beliefs about self that we have to reexamine, overhaul, detox, heal and replace.

Casey O'Roarty 22:44
So good. So if somebody is listening right now and thinking, which I know there are many people listening right now and thinking, yes, yes, yes, I know that my thought where is not in alignment with being the architect of my life. What are some baby steps? What's like? One thing that we, you know, because I'm all about, I talk a lot about practice, right with parenting, it's a practice, and it's something, whether it's if, whether we're practicing, you know, being in our neutral body, or coming from a place of kindness, or, you know, simply in the practice of self regulation when we're feeling triggered, and all of those things as an anchor, right, having in those kind of high intensity moments, looking for having an anchor to bring us out of the experience so we can look at it. So what are some kind of anchors, or one anchor that you could offer to listeners that can help with the rewiring of some of the thought where that's leading us astray. Yeah. And I know, I know it's more complex than one thing,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 23:53
yeah, so. But where do we start the short answer, and this is something that the American culture struggles with, because we always want to know steps and give me tools and tell me that's always the frame of people's questions, and the answers are not, are not in the how yet, because that's behavior and action, and we've been already doing that. And so we need to just settle down a moment and realize we got to do some work with the non spirit, with the spiritual realm, the realm you cannot see. And anytime you talk about inside of you, that's a realm you can't see. So personal growth is a realm you can't see. Spiritual development, that's a realm you can't see. If we talk about beliefs or love or grace or faith, that isn't a realm we can't see. We see the evidence of it, but not the thing, the faith itself. You see evidence of faith. So the answer is not in how to or even steps per se. It's in recognizing that when you have ingested poison, poisonous thought, where, if I. Have software on my computer that has a virus in it that is disrupting its natural way it's supposed to function. I have to get a debug program. I have to get a debug program, and turning it off and back on does not remove the virus. So operating in our same behavior or actions or tools is not the answer. That's like turning the computer back on and off. You have got to debug the program. So if we have eaten some food that is fundamentally disagreeing with our body's orientation for health, it has a response, and it attempts to eject the poison as fast as possible, right? Yeah. And so you can take some Pepto Bismol, which leaves the E coli food or the or the spoiled food, or whatever it is in your stomach, but it's still in you. Well, you gotta get the poisonous beliefs out. So how do we know what beliefs we're operating from? First of all, your life is nothing but an external reflection of your beliefs. So whether you decide to look at money and what kind of dynamics you've experienced with money, or you look at parenting, or you look at your business, or you look at your career, avocation, path, profession, or you look at your love relationship world, or you look at your relationship to your body and your health and wellness. Take a look at what's actually showing up. Take a look at what is actually showing up, and then you work backwards, and particularly if what's showing up is not what you desire and want, you really got to do some excavation. So for example, I was talking to a potential love relationships coaching client yesterday, we're having an exploratory conversation, and she said, You know, I eventually would really love to be married. But then she also said that what she notices is that she tends to repel the men, the kind of men she wants to attract, and she tends to attract the kind of men she wants to repel. So we're not even going to talk about marriage yet, because there's some beliefs in place that that have her drawing to her men that have unhealthy ways of interacting with her. So to just roll over that, like, hey, let's talk about, you know, getting you on the path to marriage. Forget it. We have some beliefs in place that have your attraction mechanism broken, and what you're attracting is the opposite of what you say you want. So we got to dig up the thought where, and expose the thought where that you are actually living out of and we need to heal it, debug it, or detox it. Healing is related to all that, and we're always trying to operate on top of everything in this culture. That's why we're so unhealed. And as time goes on, things don't get better. So the first thing is take a look at at the different arenas of your life, mind, body, spirit, money, friendships, love, relationship, and see what is really showing up in what's there. And then you ask yourself, hmm, what would the belief be that would create what I see, particularly if we start in areas where we don't see what we really would like to see. And so that takes sitting down and reflecting, two things most people are not doing, and it doesn't cost any money. You don't need anyone's permission. There's no excuse as to but we don't spend time holding still and reflecting, and you can change your whole life by doing that. Let me think about what is the thought where I'm operating from, okay, where I want to start all with money. And once you acknowledge, that means you actually recognize. Once you acknowledge, then you can change. Once you acknowledge, then you can heal. Once you acknowledge, then you transform. People just want change and transformation, and they don't want to do the acknowledgement work. And so that would be a place to start. And most people don't do it, though, because they want give me ABC formula, give me the steps. So that would be a place to start by being high. Really observant about what we each have really brought forth for real in our lives, and then work it backwards to what would be the very most core truths, aka beliefs, that I'm operating from, that this is what I created, and what's showing up in this area, and then this area and then this area. And when you go to that root level, that's where transformation occurs. Is at the root level, in the non spiritual, or in the spiritual, non physical, beyond the eye place, and there's no there's no proxy for that. There's no leapfrogging around it. That's the path I found that equals true transformation. So that would be a starting place.

Casey O'Roarty 30:52
I love that, and I think that those of my listeners that have listened for a long time are probably connecting some dots between what you're talking about and some of the things that have come up in the podcast. Oh, yeah, because I teach positive discipline, which is a complete paradigm shift from the idea that through consequences and rewards, we can somehow mold our children into contributing, functional members of society. So it's a shift from that, and I see that as a really external approach to parenting, to the idea and the theory that humans are hardwired for a sense of belonging and significance. And the interesting thing when I work with parents, because they want to know, what do I do to my kid, to get them to stop doing what they're doing, right? And so one of my favorite offers is for parents to start looking at the one on one time. Well, first of all, we talk about a lot about self care and at the very most foundational place, but also looking at the ways that they're nurturing relationship with their kids. And just like you're saying like that is an internal relationship. Isn't something we can feel

Debrena Jackson Gandy 32:22
i Right?

Casey O'Roarty 32:27
Or see, it's this kind of It's a spiritual connection that we have with our kids, and then it requires us to have a lot of faith that that is actually as powerful as it is, versus I. You know this idea that externally Well, when I lay down the law, when I ground them, when I take their device away, that feels really powerful, but it doesn't take us actually, to where we want to go with our kids. And so I'm connecting dots just around what you're saying, as far as digging in and looking at beliefs and getting really curious and listeners, you know, I think it's so important for all of us to really and like debrina, like you said, this is not what we do in our culture, even though I think we give a lot of lip service to wanting other people to do it, taking responsibility, right, for how we are influencing our experience, yes, and that's a hard pill to swallow when you've called someone for parent coaching, but it's really so powerful, so powerful. So thank you so much for that, and one of my favorite takeaways from your talk. You talked a lot about your like, your I think it was your morning practice, yeah, meditation and journaling and prayer, and you talked about praying out loud, and I think I emailed you like the very next day, because I have a meditation practice as well, and never occurred to me to speak out loud. And I've been playing with that, and it's so much it's so much fun.

Debrena Jackson Gandy 34:09
Oh, good. And more powerful, yeah.

Casey O'Roarty 34:13
And to really put into words, you know, not what it I mean, yes, what it is that I want, but just maybe, maybe it's just kind of one way to make that more, that spiritual realm feel a little bit more physical, is to put voice to my conversations with the universe, with God. It just has felt really, really powerful. Can you, just as we finish up, can you talk a little bit about what your morning ritual is? Yeah,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 34:47
well, when I talk about prayer and meditation, I am speaking of meditation as the receiving aspect of divine communication and prayer as the sending. Aspect, okay, so I'm not talking about just relaxing the body stealing the mind, which is more of an Eastern understanding of meditation as I teach it, that helps you to move into a space to receive and hear with your inner spiritual ear from God. So I first want to make that clarification, because most people in their mind, when they when they hear the word meditation, they have an Eastern understanding of it, which serves a purpose in Eastern religions and Eastern philosophy. So I'm talking about one based in different definition of meditation, where you're going beyond relaxation to now preparing yourself to and actually being able to discern God's voice from your own inner self talk and in confession from 90% of the women that do work with me, and most of them are highly spiritually evolved, is they confess that they don't know the difference. They're not sure. And so to really activate the full power of prayer meditation on the meditation side, we have to get to the place of discernment of the Holy Spirit's voice, or whatever we use to describe that higher power, the divine voice, the higher self voice, which still to me, sounds like it's coming from self. So I say Holy Spirit because it's not just coming from me. And then prayer is descending out of divine communication. So that's why it's important to speak and charge the atmosphere with your power chakra, which is your fourth chakra, which is your voice. So it's a power thing, like you can think something that has a certain level of power, okay? Now you can externalize it by writing it. You just upped the level of power. Now you speak it. Now you just send a vibration out into the atmosphere that's stronger than if you thought it inside your head. So all of it is all very purposeful. So my morning consists of prayer and meditation, speaking to and hearing from the Holy Spirit, and then it also includes gratitudes. And I don't mean just the, you know, kind of writing down what I'm thankful for, but also, what were the lessons, the learnings and the insights from the things that occurred in my life the previous day, and gratitude for that. And so those are pretty much staples of my morning prayer and meditation practice, the speaking, the hearing, listening, because we should also be putting asks forward during our prayer time that is clearly laid out in Scripture. And so when I ask women, well, tell me more about what you pray for and what your prayers consist of. It's shocking that there are pleas and commands and demands and commentary and narrating, and there's no asks. And so the ask is not only when you want insight, understanding and truth to be illuminated in a situation or with yourself. But an ask can also be what you want to manifest and bring forth into the third, into the three dimensional physical realm. So when we really kind of analyze our prayers, I am I constantly am surprised at how little ask and asks are in our prayer life. Well, we're missing out on activating the full power of prayer if we don't have asks in our prayer time and so, um, so any rate, and then praying out loud, you know some of these other things I've already mentioned. So I really try to continually strengthen and power up my divine communication and really having it be a part of how I start my day. At the top of my day is really important for me.

Casey O'Roarty 39:14
Yeah, it's important for me too. Otherwise, it's very unlikely that it will happen,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 39:19
yeah, and at the top of a new day is important. Timing matters, you know. And some people say, Oh, I don't get around to it till the evening. Well, you know, have something to close your day out as well, but don't have that replaced starting a new day in a powerful, intentional way that sets a very particular vibrational tone. So at the top of your day, whatever time your day starts, it can be really powerful and useful to have a practice that sets a tone that the rest of your day and the people in it will respond to.

Casey O'Roarty 39:56
Debrina, I feel like we could do a whole podcast about just. This?

Debrena Jackson Gandy 40:00
Yes, so let's do that. Let's do that because

Casey O'Roarty 40:05
I'm guessing, I'm intrigued by the whole that we don't ask, and I'm wondering, I'm guessing that there's some connection there to, again, worthiness and deserving. And can I ask in our own I mean, I can only imagine the spin out conversation we have in our heads. Um, well, I mean, I have my own, so thank you for bringing that to the conversation, and we will definitely to be continued that one for sure. Um, yeah. So do you have any so as we close, and we've talked about so much, and it's been so great to have you on, I knew it was going to be great, but this is totally blowing me away, just this whole like recognizing that we have these belief systems, and I love your phrase, the thought where and getting more familiar and intimate with our current default thoughtware, and shifting to something new and different and being The architects of our lives. Do you have any final thoughts for the listeners as we close things out? Yes,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 41:06
great. So the short answer is that if we were to live and engage and relate and be based in the unimaginable, limitless, unconditional love that God has for us. There is no way that we could stand living so far beneath our birthright and what is intended and designed for us to experience so part of the overhaul and the detox and the reset and the new paradigm is we have to completely blow our old notions of love out of the water, and we didn't make ourselves. We didn't create ourselves. So we have to go back to our source to really understand the power of love, which is really a centerpiece of a sacred self, caring woman's life. And then secondly is we have no idea how incredibly great and powerful and beautiful that we are. And to the new paradigms that I'm talking about are based in us getting at least fundamentally those two things. And when you not only get it, but it starts to be integrated into your being, because it's now your new default. Every thing changes. And it's like, you know, your first time swimming, and you might have a parent or lifeguard in the warm water in the shallow end, saying, Come on in. It's it feels great. So I am in that water, always wanting to go deeper in that water, saying to women on the shore, come on in. It feels great.

Casey O'Roarty 43:15
I love that. So final question, in the context of living that birthright that you just painted for us that sounds delicious. What does joyful courage mean to you?

Debrena Jackson Gandy 43:29
It means living a life based in truth, and unfortunately truth, to live truthfully and to speak truthfully in this American culture is seen as something so courageous, and it really shouldn't have to be lauded as a courageous act to be living as a real person. And unfortunately, it gets so many applause. Oh, you're so courageous to say that, Oh you're so courageous to do that, Oh, you're so courageous to speak that. And it's really just called being truthful. And so joyful courage is just really, really living in our natural Lee truthful selves, and because we're short on truth right about now, even more so in our country, then it lets us know we are living away from an encounter in contradiction to our natural selves, which our natural selves are truthful so we just are our natural selves truthful is the way We operate. So a joyfully courageous woman has just remembered who she is and shed the false, poisonous, faulty beliefs about who she is that are really lies, and she's just living in the natural beauty power. Were an influence that is consistent with her, her divine design, and so, yeah, yeah,

Casey O'Roarty 45:09
yes, debrina, I love that. Yeah, thank you for that. I always ask my guests that question, and I love the variety. You know, there's variety in the response, and there's also a really beautiful, deep commonality in the responses. So yes,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 45:26
thank you for that. Yay. So

Casey O'Roarty 45:29
where else can listeners find you and follow your work? You've got your website, million dollar mentor.net,

Debrena Jackson Gandy 45:36
yeah. And I have a YouTube channel as well. Debrina Jackson Gandy, but really million dollar mentor.net is really debrina Grand Central, because I have a highly comprehensive, really juicy, multi layered site. And so not only are there all kinds of blog resources, I have a library of articles, according to Business and Entrepreneurship, personal growth and spiritual development, and then sacred self care. But there's all kinds of free e gifts that visitors can get, which is really cool, not just one, but several. And also they can find out about events I have coming up. Make a request for an exploratory conversation about my coaching. So that really is, you know, debrina Grand Central, million dollar mentor.net. Awesome,

Casey O'Roarty 46:30
and there will be the link in the show notes listeners, so you'll be able to find it there. Debrina, thank you so much for coming on.

Debrena Jackson Gandy 46:37
Thank you, Casey. Hi.

Casey O'Roarty 46:43
Joy, joyful courage community, you are amazing. Big. Thanks and love to my team, including producer Chris Mann at pod Schaefer. Please be sure to join in the discussion over at the live and love with joyful courage Facebook group as well as the joyful courage business page on Facebook and Instagram. Subscribe to the show through Apple podcasts, Spotify, Google Play, iHeartRadio, or really, anywhere you find your favorite podcasts, you can view the current joyful courage programs and my coaching offers over at the webpage, simply head to www.joyfulcourage.com to find more support for your conscious parenting journey. If you want to give back to the show, and I really hope you do become a patron, click donate on the website to give back to the show that gives you so much any comments or feedback about this episode or any others can be sent to [email protected] I personally read and respond to all the emails that come my way, reach out, take a breath, drop into your body, find the balcony seat and trust that everything is going to be okay.

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